IMPULSE CONTROL/LACK THEREOF

VTMi'kmaq

VTMi'kmaq

Well-Known Member
So i guess after several yrs here i can admit to having been diagnosed by some psychobabble crapmaster via federal programs that i suffer from " mental illness" not shithouse crazy, but super impulsive, can become manic because i have found mania in the past quite invigorating....

Idk why cause rarely does mania end well for me. Id like to take the time to apologize to anyone i may have been rude or a douchebag too. I refuse to take the pharma theyd like me to take so i wont lie ive struggled reigning in my bullshit and for that i apologize. Now dont get me wrong.....if your a straight doucherocket as well as myself id like to resolve that right now. I struggle with impulse control. How about you?
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qwizoking

qwizoking

Well-Known Member
diving into insanity or mania via a shit ton of stims, lack of sleep and dissociatives is truly amazing.

high dose dxm, a little lsd, and a ouff or two of ganja at night ooooooh shit.

go into the depths, the dark trips. loose yourself in the melancholy wonderland.
 
qwizoking

qwizoking

Well-Known Member
everytime i blink im in a different setting, i can see clearly with my eyes closed, better than normal even.. wandering my house avoiding objects. with eyes open its a big shifting vibrating mass. blink again, im in a colonial house beautiful. i like this one *fights to not open eyes again and walks around.

let it sink in. time no longer exists, dosage we might be here a couple days..

it creeps, i recoil to the bed. i can no longer walk and crawling along the stretching floor is becoming impossible as i flop around.

finally get in bed, lay down.

my bed hovers, slowly spins asking where to go through its vibes. nyc i think, and i zoom across over heavy traffic and buildings in such accurate detail. pictures stored in my subconscious i assume.


but this is too base, and the drug knows it. it asks me, if i wanted to go up..

sure, im in your hands magic bed., speeding ino space looking at clouds of stars. in front of me the black eternity reveals a square of light, out of nothing a doorway opens. i study the door more than.whats inside, its made of space, but 3 dimensional, a couple inches thick. inside is beautiful, avatar type shit. i know if i enter looms some revelation, i can feel it. im scared. i like my pointless life, what if i cross and cant come back.
as soon as i think this i drift back down towards earth.. i know ill get another opportunity but im.not ready

my journey has now been roughly 12hrs in my head. maybe 3 irl

the drugs still kicking in. now comes the insanity. beauty and wonder is slipping away. my deepest thoughts and feelings float around me, i dont think .i see "read" a thought if you will as it passes by. these bubbles of life spin around me as i walk through emptiness. my body is numb eventually it disappears. im just a floating consciousness, no feelings of lust guilt or happiness. this portion of the trip lasts another 12hrs or so 3irl.. who am i? i continuously change form then return to my non existent state




thats where the fun begins











yall need to get hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

i gots stories and trip reports for dadadays
 
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