So, I've never completed a grow yet, on my first one...(rest of this, grain of salt
) but I've read enough to pick out a few things in what's going on here.
Your watering schedule is not correct for seedlings. Do some searches on these forums, and look for youtube videos(relevant, recent) on watering schedules for seedlings (type in water seedlings cannabis, and the first 3-4 videos are worth watching).
For coco, aka soiless grow medium, nutes need to be used right out of the gate. You don't need nutes for seedlings in soil because the soil has all the nutes they'll need during the seedling stage. For coco, it has nothing besides the ability to retain water.
For lighting height... it's tough to tell because of all the stress they are under with overwatering and no nutes. Getting those under control will allow you to hear what they are telling you about the lights.
Your last update seems to have gotten better(post some pics!!).
To figure out light height after that, with my seedlings, I've been monitoring stretch... if they are growing UP too fast(qualitative based on looking at many MANY videos and photos of seedling day by day development... check this site's grow journals!), I lower the light... if they are short and stubby(aka no stretch)... I raise the light a bit so they stretch. If they are stretching a bit, and the plant development is "normal" height for age... you'll be fairly safe for light height. This may be a bit tougher because of all the stunting from the stress... but gauge where they are when they become healthy, and go from there.
Finally, I've been reading a TON preparing for this grow. One thing that I've picked up on, if you want to have a good grow, you can't stick to exact schedules and precise measurements only. Care for your girls, listen to what they say, and give them what they want.
Don't love them too much!
Read this entire website, top to bottom, left to right... everything...
http://www.growweedeasy.com/