What kind of gun would Jesus own? I remember it as an important theological question among the evangelical, born yesterday crowd a few years back. Why I remember a time when every republican had a "personal relationship" with Jesus, even the president had an imaginary friend. Jesus and family values used to be real big in America until Trump, then Cheeto Jesus the antichrist, blew the dog whistle through the bullhorn and Satan seduced them and evil slipped into their horts, but really, the Devil was already there, waiting for the messenger, they had no hearts really, only fear and hate.
Seems they didn't have their tickets pre punched through the pearly gates and were recently seen worshipping the golden calf in the form of Cheeto Jesus, the embodiment of the 7 deadly sins. Amazingly "Grab them by the pussy" became acceptable to the family values crowd as did infidelity and multiple marriages, an illegal immigrant and foreign slut with a portfolio of nude pictures could even be first lady! The list goes on and on.