A guy walks into a new bar and orders a drink. He notices a large 5-gallon glass bottle at the end of the bar and it’s stuffed with $10 bills. He asks the bartender what the story is behind the jar full of money. The bartender fills him in. “Oh that’s for a running bet we have here. If you but $10 in the jar and can complete three tasks, you get all the money.” The fella is intrigued and asks, “So what are the three tasks?” “Sorry pal,” says the bartender, “you have to put the money in before I can tell you what the tasks are.” The guy thinks for a second, shrugs his shoulders and says to himself, it’s only $10, why not give it a try.
So he puts in his $10 and asks the bartender what the three tasks are. “Well the first one is you have to drink a quart of vodka straight down with no tears and you can’t throw up. The second task has to do with Clyde. He’s the alligator in the back. He has a bad tooth and you have to pull it.” The guy begins to cringe in an anticipation of what the third task could possibly be. “Your third task concerns old Sadie. She’s a “lady of the evening” and lives upstairs and is over 90 years old. She hasn’t “been” with anyone for over 50 years so you have to make love to her.”
After careful consideration the guy steels his strength and says, “Ok, give me the vodka.” He grabs the bottle and drinks it down in one continuous gulp after another. As he finishes the bottle he begins to quiver and his eyes get misty, but not a tear falls. After the successful completion of the first task they point him to the back door to take care of Clyde the alligator. When he goes out back they hear an awful commotion, yelling, screaming, bodies thumping the ground, it’s terrible. After a few minutes they’re surprised to see the guy come back through the door. He’s bloody from head to foot with cuts and scratches all over his body and he’s completely exhausted. After a few deep breaths he says, “Ok, now show me where the old prostitute is with the bad tooth.”