Moistvonlipwig
Well-Known Member
I'm not sure how to start this , or where I'm going with it .
Way back when I was 19 I went to a party . It was a pretty darn lame party . Wasn't any booze and no one else smoked.
Just about the time I was getting ready to make like a tree and leave this brunette walked in the door and wow she was like the most perfect beautiful thing I had ever seen .
I'm not sure why I stuck around she was way out of my dating league. But I did . A half hour or so later I snuck out the back door and sparked one up .
Wonder of all wonders this goddess came out and asked if I'd share .
We got high and had some laughs , of course I didn't make a move cause she was way to hot for my homely self .
A few months go by I'm at a friends Halloween party and she shows up walks right up to me like she's known me for years and just starts chirping away .
Half an hour and a couple drinks later and we are making out in my car . I dint think life could get much better .
Over the next couple weeks we went on three maybe four dates and wow did we hit it off ... life got better every day it seemed .
Till one Tuesday afternoon I came home to my crappy little efficiency apartment after work to find her inside surrounded by a pile of boxes with a big smile on her face ... surprise I'm moving in she said .
Surprise no you are not I replied . Those must have been the exact wrong words to utter because her face went from that of an angel to that of a hell spawned demon .
Faster then I could process exactly what was happening she grabbed a knife off the kitchenette counter a flew at me at what seemed to me to be warp speed knife flailing away ...
I managed to block the first few stabs but luck wasn't with me for long , she got me once in the side twice in the hip and lost her grip on the knife when it stuck in my thigh bone .. I imagine it was getting slippery by then what with it being covered in my blood and all .
Seizing the opportunity I punched her in the face just as hard as I could and before she hit the floor I was out the door making my escape .
Bleeding like hell and starting to feel a bit woozy I made it to the managers apartment and got her to call the cops .
while I was doing so this absolutely gorgeous hell spawn was setting my couch on fire ....
Cops show up arrest her and give me a ride to the hospital. Typical drama plays out from there ... court , trial etc etc etc ..
She gets 3-5 years for attempted murder and arson . Life goes on ...
So why am I telling you all this at 3:56 am ...
I'm not sure , it's been well over 30 years since then . I smoked a joint and she just popped into my head .
Haven't really thought about her in over a decade .. funny thing is I didn't even think about the bad part of our very short relationship.
I was just thinking about the laughs we had smoking that first joint together .
Way back when I was 19 I went to a party . It was a pretty darn lame party . Wasn't any booze and no one else smoked.
Just about the time I was getting ready to make like a tree and leave this brunette walked in the door and wow she was like the most perfect beautiful thing I had ever seen .
I'm not sure why I stuck around she was way out of my dating league. But I did . A half hour or so later I snuck out the back door and sparked one up .
Wonder of all wonders this goddess came out and asked if I'd share .
We got high and had some laughs , of course I didn't make a move cause she was way to hot for my homely self .
A few months go by I'm at a friends Halloween party and she shows up walks right up to me like she's known me for years and just starts chirping away .
Half an hour and a couple drinks later and we are making out in my car . I dint think life could get much better .
Over the next couple weeks we went on three maybe four dates and wow did we hit it off ... life got better every day it seemed .
Till one Tuesday afternoon I came home to my crappy little efficiency apartment after work to find her inside surrounded by a pile of boxes with a big smile on her face ... surprise I'm moving in she said .
Surprise no you are not I replied . Those must have been the exact wrong words to utter because her face went from that of an angel to that of a hell spawned demon .
Faster then I could process exactly what was happening she grabbed a knife off the kitchenette counter a flew at me at what seemed to me to be warp speed knife flailing away ...
I managed to block the first few stabs but luck wasn't with me for long , she got me once in the side twice in the hip and lost her grip on the knife when it stuck in my thigh bone .. I imagine it was getting slippery by then what with it being covered in my blood and all .
Seizing the opportunity I punched her in the face just as hard as I could and before she hit the floor I was out the door making my escape .
Bleeding like hell and starting to feel a bit woozy I made it to the managers apartment and got her to call the cops .
while I was doing so this absolutely gorgeous hell spawn was setting my couch on fire ....
Cops show up arrest her and give me a ride to the hospital. Typical drama plays out from there ... court , trial etc etc etc ..
She gets 3-5 years for attempted murder and arson . Life goes on ...
So why am I telling you all this at 3:56 am ...
I'm not sure , it's been well over 30 years since then . I smoked a joint and she just popped into my head .
Haven't really thought about her in over a decade .. funny thing is I didn't even think about the bad part of our very short relationship.
I was just thinking about the laughs we had smoking that first joint together .
Many songs have been written about girls like that, especially back when music was still good.
