Ever fallen for a best friend?

[Ramen Shaman]

Okay, guys. I'm feeling a bit confused about all of this, and the whole conversation sounds a bit pubescent and immature.

My best friend of several years means the most to me. He's always there, and we never have a bad time.

But he has a girlfriend of three years. Personally, I and all my friends think she's an utter bitch. Really mean, rather stuck-up, and so passive aggressive it's not even funny. It seems like most of the time my friend barely even tolerates this girl, much less loves her.

Over the past six months, I've slowly felt more than just friendship for this guy. He and I really care for each other in that lasting way. I know he doesn't think about me in terms of a relationship, but, hell, what should I do?

Have you guys ever been in similar situations? Did you go through with it and talk about your feelings with the person? How did it turn out?

 

[fdd2blk]

i've humped my friends in the past. it was all good.

 

[misshestermoffitt]

Since he's involved with someone it's better to remain a friend than to confess feelings and have him shut you out, but if he breaks up with the girlfriend, make your move.

 

[SlikWiLL13]

i am in a similar boat. she isnt my best friend, but she is definetly a good friend.

my biggest fear is that if i try to gain her as a partner i could lose her as a friend.

 

[misshestermoffitt]

My husband and I were good friends. We wanted each other, but I was involved with a guy I was sick of and pretty much done with. We broke up and my man made his move. Our 22 wedding anniversary is coming up this year. I'm glad things worked out the way they did.

 

[SlikWiLL13]

let me ask you this misshess, did you leave your ex FOR your current? or was it over w/the ex anyway?

see i have a rule about girls that will leave a guy for another...

 

[pennywise619]

I personally feel it would be a bad mistake. If things didn't work out then you would be loosing a good friend.

 

[misshestermoffitt]

It was pretty much over anyway, he was a jerk, one of those tough guys that like to smack their women around. I'm not a weak female, you hit me and I come out swinging. It would have just been a matter of time before we killed each other.

 

[pennywise619]

It was pretty much over anyway, he was a jerk, one of those tough guys that like to smack their women around. I'm not a weak female, you hit me and I come out swinging. It would have just been a matter of time before we killed each other.

Wow what a fuckin pussy........ not you the jerk.....

 

[UserFriendly]

My orgasm could kick your friendship's ass!

 

[icurbyou]

My girlfriend was married .. we were best friends .. I could tell they werent meant for eachother.. I found out she felt the same... Their relationship deminished as ours grew... Long story short, we've been together for 2.5 years and I asked her to marry me last week and she said yes...

I say go for it... Unless he's super hot and you're super ugly.... Then I'd just keep my mouth shut. lol

 

[fdd2blk]

Okay, guys. I'm feeling a bit confused about all of this, and the whole conversation sounds a bit pubescent and immature.

My best friend of several years means the most to me. He's always there, and we never have a bad time.

But he has a girlfriend of three years. Personally, I and all my friends think she's an utter bitch. Really mean, rather stuck-up, and so passive aggressive it's not even funny. It seems like most of the time my friend barely even tolerates this girl, much less loves her.

Over the past six months, I've slowly felt more than just friendship for this guy. He and I really care for each other in that lasting way. I know he doesn't think about me in terms of a relationship, but, hell, what should I do?

Have you guys ever been in similar situations? Did you go through with it and talk about your feelings with the person? How did it turn out?

you say your best friend is a guy, i assume you are female. it could really change the way this plays out otherwise.

 

[SlikWiLL13]

you say your best friend is a guy, i assume you are female. it could really change the way this plays out otherwise.

that thought had crossed my mind.

 

[misshestermoffitt]

not another Jenny Jones moment.

 

[robert 14617]

i don't play the crying game...........

 

[SlikWiLL13]

the OP mentioned falling for a male best friend w/ a girlfriend, if the OP is a guy his buddy is REALLY in for a surprise.

 

[regal8r]

I personally feel it would be a bad mistake. If things didn't work out then you would be loosing a good friend.

if they can be just friends for years and years, then theres absolutely no reason why starting an intimate relationship could spoil the friendship, granted their feelings are mutual. the greatest relationships are based on a STRONG friendship...if you arent/cant be best friends then the relationship is destined to fail..everytime...

to the OP, go for it and make your move. keep us updated, i am subscribing to this thread right now lol.

 

[Ramen Shaman]

See, I'm really, really worried about this. I never date a person until I know a fair bit about them (I make sure they're friends first, lovers second). But this guy has been nothing but friend to me since, hell, the 8th grade. Shit, guys, we're even going to college for the same major. My biggest concern is fucking this up. I've dated close friends in the past, and it's always ended with us growing to hate each other over the little things, the petty shit.

He and I talked last night about his current relationship. I didn't tell him I had feelings for him because that might still be a bit too sudden. I think that he's only with his girlfriend now because of a formed habit. That's what happens after years of a relationship. I asked him if he really loved her. He said yes. But then I went on to talk about how I didn't think he got the right emotional support from her, how I never see them happy and he never says anything good about her to me, just how he and she are fighting. It seems like it's all about money now. He's got a shitty job, she's getting four times the paychecks, and she still wants money from him. I told him how I didn't think they were both on the same emotional level or maturity level.

I can't just tell him, "I love you. I've always loved you. I can't stand to see you sad or hurt by the things she says to you. I want to take care of you. I want us to be able to sit and kiss on top of your car at sunset with the radio blasting and the neighbors yelling. I want to wake up and roll over and watch you sleep."

Shit, I love him so much.

I'm sorry. I'm rambling now. It's time for a bowl and bed. Maybe I'll find the answers in my dreams.

 

[1kooguy]

Theres no way a guy can just be friends, with a girl.I could be friends for a week,but then I'm gonna want some pussy.I could probly be friends with a ugly chick ,that I don't wanna fuck.If he's your friend only,he must not wanna bang you.

 

[fdd2blk]

Theres no way a guy can just be friends, with a girl.I could be friends for a week,but then I'm gonna want some pussy.I could probly be friends with a ugly chick ,that I don't wanna fuck.If he's your friend only,he must not wanna bang you.

you have a long way to go young grasshopper.