Perma-fried, Perma-tripping, or just a little crazy???

[JustaFarmer]

hey guys whats going on?? kinda new to the site, i have an experience i would like to share and would appreciate your thoughts comments etc... Ok so i am 21yrs old, and ever since i was 17 until about 6 months ago i was all about tripping on lsd, rolling, eating shrooms, and i have taken molli (pure powder MDMA) on more than one occasion...not streadily but ive proably tripped on lsd 10-20 times, shrooms 10-15 times, rolled more than i can count and got strung out on 3 grams of molli for like a wek and a half..... not i never really got strung out on anything for lon periods of time except for the molli (week and a half) but on weekends taking and number of these. prob every other weekend at times... now last year i ate 2 hits of LSD they were gold jellys and i tripped my BALLS off...never tripped so hard in my life...i saw a god acting through another person, and it was nothing but a child who said we all get lost but find or way in the end....also every summer i go to music festivals about 3 or 4 times a summer and theyre 3 days long where i camp and my frinds and i get compleyely spun for 3 days....which now worries me... now im kinda taking a much needed break and i am paranoid at times, i want to be social but i just find it too hard and exhausting, and sometines i just feel plain retarded...ever heard the saying your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.....thats mee..while psychedilcs have helped me to come to some conclusions in life...i worry that i may have some serious long term effects to deal with...at times i feel like im tripping when im not at all...im afraid that phycosis or tripping or whatever it is is now a reality i am stuck with...it doesnt happen all the time, but alot of times i feel that when people talk there are two meanings... what they say, and then there is a second meaning that pertains only to me...in my own head..its weird, i feel like they are looking right through me and a supernatural force is acting thorugh them..really weird shit...and i feel like i am a seeker, im looking for something but i dunno what it is... and the trips come in wavees and i feel like im crazy....but i like it i dunno, i feel like i am nothing more than a jester or joker sidenot in lifes comicbook, just a silly side note...and that i dont like... i am not going to the doctor for 2 reasons, 1.) i refuse to take "theyre drugs" anti-phychotics and whatnot in fear of becoming a zombie...ive seen what these do to people and they just become numb to life... 2.) i think if i really told someone like a shrink or a doctor how i feel they will have me committed..which is why i do it on here annomisouly... but if i think im crazy i dont think i am..because crazy people dont know theyre crazy..or do they i dunno??? anyone in a similar boat...just needed to vent

 

[JustaFarmer]

also i would like to mention, that i can still function with people fine, friends, family, job...i just feel cazy in my own head...i think i need to quit being a bitch and dose up again, but im not gonna...pot levels me out too so i dunno...just looking for answers i guess

 

[nad90]

how confident are you day to day?

hows your self image?

your not crazy, and as your trip told you we all get lost man. you have a girlfriend? you go to the gym at all? sorry for more questions than answers but hopefully its something

 

[Gianni]

I dont think your crazy, but I have a skewed definition of sanity. If you feel that your psychedelic use is contributing to your feelings of insanity then take a break, they are not going anywhere you can always go back. I would definitely slow down with the rolls though.

Happy Trails

 

[Thebiglungblowski]

Not crazy one bit.. I had and have experienced very similar situations and personal feelings... There is no such thing as normal, the conditions and terms established in todays understanding of our psychological functions are only observations, I believe that conditions are created in the brain as a defense mechanism to function in a very real reality, when something is fundamentally askew or misunderstood about that reality.. What im trying to say is... the people who are truly psychotic for example.. Can turn a blind eye on direct or indirect problems prevalent in todays society.. "like oh... The war on Iraq is wrong but it doesnt effect me".. Conditions of the brain are a reaction, NOT a symptom of an illness

 

[SmokeyMcChokey]

put one in the temple.

 

[Thebiglungblowski]

the personality type that is the most suited for CEO positions of major corporations, are that of a psychotic serial killer,... Psychosis is a direct result of the lack of development in the frontal lobe, being the major contributer to "the conscience" and a sense of self.. SO people who fundamentally lack this portion of brain development, can ultimately make decisions and not think twice about consequences or moral conflict.

 

[JustaFarmer]

wow..thanks, i feel much better now, like a weight has been lifted and i really arent too woried abiut it now...appreciate it...also im glad to find out i have a conciscence

 

[ndangerspecimen101]

wow..thanks, i feel much better now, like a weight has been lifted and i really arent too woried abiut it now...appreciate it...also im glad to find out i have a conciscence

It all depends on your self perception of reality!

It seems like you ventures on psychedelics on more occasions that you can count on your fingertips! It looks like you over used these psychotropic drugs and it may of caused some anxiety issues that may play havoc for a few months, but could be controllable at all cost! The central nervous system is a very sensitive thing for some, and all psychedelics whether they are typtamines or pheneythamines play a large role on your emotional and mental outlook. Never use or more properly abuse psychedelics, they have their special causes, when used in excess they can cause negative feedback!

 

[PainWrek]

crazy is what you make of it. You definitely can not fight it...roll with it....and along the way you choose whether to indulge and be creative or be a neurotic mess. :Mind over matter:

just let it ride and you'll be making clay elephants in your microwave in no time.....

 

[shepj]

maybe you should stop doing drugs dude.

 

[Crimble]

Chant - Om Namah Shivaya - when you get "like that", you ain't nuts, just aware of the matrix now, welcome, its a tough job being awake but you can handle it

 

[shepj]

Chant - Om Namah Shivaya - when you get "like that", you ain't nuts, just aware of the matrix now, welcome, its a tough job being awake but you can handle it

What? I'm so lost dude.

 

[JustaFarmer]

Chant - Om Namah Shivaya - when you get "like that", you ain't nuts, just aware of the matrix now, welcome, its a tough job being awake but you can handle it

haha yeah thats pretty much what is is....im dont feel crazy all the time but the longer i take a break from the stuff the more normal i feel, however, i have been woken up to something that will never be closed, a door of perception that will always be open in my life, and its ok........ dont any of you guys ever feel like youve eaten the forbidden fruit???? thats how i feel now i have to deal with seeing things with the blinders off...thats all... RIDE THE WAVE!!!!!

 

[ndangerspecimen101]

haha yeah thats pretty much what is is....im dont feel crazy all the time but the longer i take a break from the stuff the more normal i feel, however, i have been woken up to something that will never be closed, a door of perception that will always be open in my life, and its ok........ dont any of you guys ever feel like youve eaten the forbidden fruit???? thats how i feel now i have to deal with seeing things with the blinders off...thats all... RIDE THE WAVE!!!!!

You do open up or more accurately put make yourself more preimposed to ideas that are already known, but brought to the surface. You notice the smaller, less important things when your tripping- the things you typically take for granted and thought about in an almost impulsive, excessive way. Now after your trip those thoughts and mannerisms have stuck on you... now its your job to properly articulate those feelings and mannerisms in their proper place.

 

[JustaFarmer]

You do open up or more accurately put make yourself more preimposed to ideas that are already known, but brought to the surface. You notice the smaller, less important things when your tripping- the things you typically take for granted and thought about in an almost impulsive, excessive way. Now after your trip those thoughts and mannerisms have stuck on you... now its your job to properly articulate those feelings and mannerisms in their proper place.

repped... I agree with you 100%, the reason we identify with things that are already known, is because we make it fit our lives, take lyrics to a song, some songs for some people make them feel like the song is about them and they're life... When in all reality it is not but as people we make that connection.. Its done in movies, books, anything you see could cause this. We make connections with things, its part of life i guess... And tripping does bring things to the surface things you never really think of or take for granted... When the trip is over, some of those thoughts linger and we have to deal with them. However i think a big part of the problem with psychedelics is that after the trip is over people dewll on what they think about when theyre tripping and what comes to the surface, that is my definition of "tripped out"... and we try to draw conclusions but sometimes we cant, we need another clue so we tripp again...it is a never ending cycle, thats the conclusion i have come to with these drugs and for the time being have no desire at all to trip again..mabye down the road i may want to but i can honestly say right now i dont ever see myself tripping againg... i think i started to get tripped out (i started dewlling on things all the time, and quit actually living life) so i made a change, i stopped and i couldnt be happier...im at a good place right now and looking back i think it was a necessary phase in my life, i was woke up to alot of things, but i think im past it and no longer need it as a crutch...i dont know what this thread is truning into...lol I just end up venting about my thoughts on this stuff and i encourage you all to do the same... thanks guys your my lil support group and i can honestly say that i proably did get a little excessivewith the drugs, but i just needed to pull back the reigns so to speak... and also i would like to say that ive had many INTENSE interesting tripps, neither good or bad, ive had a few really bad ones when i got THE FEAR...oooo i hate "the fear" but the reason i really liked rolling was when used with psychedelics instead of being on a higher realization trip which made me think, the x made it a euphoric fun time...and i think that was the downfall.... anyways keep the comments and thoughts coming, like to hear what you guys think on the subject...fell free to contribute ....im out thats enough rambling for one day

 

[400Whps]

dude, cut out the phycidelics, a friend of mine sheila never did anydrugs until about a year ago, she did mainly acid a mdma. For the first 7 months or so she acted a bit weird, they was she would explain her feelings reminds me of you alot.. quit before you turn man
it's been just over a year now she is a paranoid schitzo, we beleive its from the drugs...the shit the doctors give her make her even worse then the phycs....

 

[Brevity, The Soul Of Wit!]

maybe you should stop doing drugs dude.

*slap* Don't you ever say that again!!!


But people who can't handle their drugs shouldn't do them...

 

[ndangerspecimen101]

*slap* Don't you ever say that again!!!


But people who can't handle their drugs shouldn't do them...

I think that's what SHEPJ implicated!

Take steps.. reevaulate what conditions caused this... make "sticky notes" as you will as sort of a path to whats the root cause of those lingering thoughts. If they are caused by the drug alone, then and only then it would be wise to cut all ties to the psychedelic world. It may cause bigger problems in the future and those may never heal properly if you cut the wound too deep!

 

[growwwww]

You arent crazy. You just like putting more than the necessary amount of full stops at the end of sentences...

Dude, dont worry, maybe stop doing drugs for a bit?

Make sure you are getting good sleep everynight, take up a really nice peaceful hobby. But remember sleep well, this really means alot.

Anyway, you aint crazy! dont worry!

Peace