the women's code?
- Thread starter sarah22
- Start date
dew-b
Well-Known Member
some do i knew a guy that would go around the bar just asking women want to fuck. suprise. he would get some takers. don't know how. drunk they were. must have been realy drunk he kinda looks like lenny from lavern and sherily.
RockstarEnergy
Well-Known Member
25) swallow. its faster than saving it in your mouth to spit and more considerate/respectful than backing away when he cums. do you want him to back away grossed out when you climax? no? i didnt think so.
word of the gospel right there! you should add to it "and if you absolutely wont swallow...when hes about to cum take his dick out of your mouth, start jerkin, and SMILE REEAAAALL PRETTY!!" hahaha
word of the gospel right there! you should add to it "and if you absolutely wont swallow...when hes about to cum take his dick out of your mouth, start jerkin, and SMILE REEAAAALL PRETTY!!" hahaha
dew-b
Well-Known Member
throw caution to the wind. women like bad boys for the excitement just jump in with both feet spread. you know the only thing he wants.so if your going to do it make it short and sweet. don't hold on like he is the only thing keeping you from going over the edge
it only hurts more in the end.
P
Priscilla420
Guest
Yeah, I learned that the hard way, unfortunately..
ruderalis88
Well-Known Member
a few suggestions for you, feel free to ignore those with which you disagree:
27. Friends should be there for friends. Unless one of the friends is bitching and moaning about something that was her own fault e.g. getting back together with the deadbeat after everyone told you he was a deadbeat
28 a) just because you kissed another girl that one time 3 years ago doesn't mean you've "had a lesbian experience/phase"
b) equally, just because your friend kissed another girl it doesn't make her a lesbian and you shouldn't treat her like a leper for the rest of the week/month/year/time.
29. nobody cares how many calories you've eaten today/this week. If you care, that's good for you, now SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
30. girls who say "oh i'm so fat/ugly/whatever" are attention seekers. Shut up. If you really do think you're fat/ugly/whatever, either accept it and move on, or stop eating pies and go for a jog.
31. girls have assholes too. Yes, sometimes the public toilets will smell of shit and yes, it's not pleasant. If you'd had a lamb bhoona for dinner last night, you'd shit like that too. Get over it.
32. a) the following things are acceptable items to be placed in a handbag/purse on an average day: money + cards etc, phone, keys, basic make up supplies, tampons (if necessary, but they must be the pocket size ones), cigarettes, lighter, a pen, mp3 player, drugs (legal and/or illegal), condoms.
b) the following things are NOT acceptable items to be placed in a handbag/purse on the average day: dogs, cats, generally any living thing. any full sized toiletries, the receipt from the dress you bought last month, spare underwear (especially granny pants), pictures of babies/children unless they're actually YOUR offspring/grandoffspring, books of more than 100 pages, the fork you ate lunch with, flat-soled shoes (if you can't walk comfortably in your heels, CHANGE THEM), hairspray, more than 2 pens/pencils, condoms for vaginas,
33. if you ask a friend "are you ok" then she has only 3 chances to fess up with what's wrong. after the third question, if the answer is still "nothing's wrong" or "i'm fine", she's fine. don't keep asking. Similarly, if you're not fine, DON'T FUCKING SAY YOU ARE. 3 CHANCES IS ENOUGH.
34. taking one tablet of ibuprofen at 400mg is not 'better than' taking 2 tablets of ibuprofen at 200mg. it's the same amount of painkillers, and it's not a competition.
35. In general, it's not a competition.
36 if a guy is willing to watch a chick flick with you he's great. but you shouldn't actually make him watch the film. if he WANTS to watch a chick flick, he's up to something. if he CHOOSES a chick flick, without consulting you whatsoever, he's probably gay.
37 if he speaks to his mother more than once a week, it won't work out between you two.
38 I will answer the phone to you at 3am because you are my friend and you might need me. I will be very pissed off if the only reason you're phoning is that you're wasted. I have work tomorrow, fuck off. I expect the same.
39. more often than not, what your boyfriend/husband/date/crush/whatever said was exactly what he meant. he/your relationship is also not the most interesting and important thing in the world. please stop obsessing over it, could we change the subject, only it's been 3 hours of the 'girls night out' and you haven't shut up about it once.
40. don't give me death-stares when i tell you to pull your top up. i don't want to see your tits, and i'm pretty sure you don't really want to show them to me (and everyone else in this public place). if your cunt was showing through your open flies would you be happy parading around like that? i think not!
41. kissing a guy who isn't your bf is cheating on him. i'm not judging you, but don't try and justify your lack of backbone by saying "it was just a kiss"
42. if i've been friends with a guy for years, and he really genuinely is a friend to me (and nothing more), then he's fair game for my girl friends. however, if you treat him like shit, don't be surprised if i side with him at the break-up
27. Friends should be there for friends. Unless one of the friends is bitching and moaning about something that was her own fault e.g. getting back together with the deadbeat after everyone told you he was a deadbeat
28 a) just because you kissed another girl that one time 3 years ago doesn't mean you've "had a lesbian experience/phase"
b) equally, just because your friend kissed another girl it doesn't make her a lesbian and you shouldn't treat her like a leper for the rest of the week/month/year/time.
29. nobody cares how many calories you've eaten today/this week. If you care, that's good for you, now SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
30. girls who say "oh i'm so fat/ugly/whatever" are attention seekers. Shut up. If you really do think you're fat/ugly/whatever, either accept it and move on, or stop eating pies and go for a jog.
31. girls have assholes too. Yes, sometimes the public toilets will smell of shit and yes, it's not pleasant. If you'd had a lamb bhoona for dinner last night, you'd shit like that too. Get over it.
32. a) the following things are acceptable items to be placed in a handbag/purse on an average day: money + cards etc, phone, keys, basic make up supplies, tampons (if necessary, but they must be the pocket size ones), cigarettes, lighter, a pen, mp3 player, drugs (legal and/or illegal), condoms.
b) the following things are NOT acceptable items to be placed in a handbag/purse on the average day: dogs, cats, generally any living thing. any full sized toiletries, the receipt from the dress you bought last month, spare underwear (especially granny pants), pictures of babies/children unless they're actually YOUR offspring/grandoffspring, books of more than 100 pages, the fork you ate lunch with, flat-soled shoes (if you can't walk comfortably in your heels, CHANGE THEM), hairspray, more than 2 pens/pencils, condoms for vaginas,
33. if you ask a friend "are you ok" then she has only 3 chances to fess up with what's wrong. after the third question, if the answer is still "nothing's wrong" or "i'm fine", she's fine. don't keep asking. Similarly, if you're not fine, DON'T FUCKING SAY YOU ARE. 3 CHANCES IS ENOUGH.
34. taking one tablet of ibuprofen at 400mg is not 'better than' taking 2 tablets of ibuprofen at 200mg. it's the same amount of painkillers, and it's not a competition.
35. In general, it's not a competition.
36 if a guy is willing to watch a chick flick with you he's great. but you shouldn't actually make him watch the film. if he WANTS to watch a chick flick, he's up to something. if he CHOOSES a chick flick, without consulting you whatsoever, he's probably gay.
37 if he speaks to his mother more than once a week, it won't work out between you two.
38 I will answer the phone to you at 3am because you are my friend and you might need me. I will be very pissed off if the only reason you're phoning is that you're wasted. I have work tomorrow, fuck off. I expect the same.
39. more often than not, what your boyfriend/husband/date/crush/whatever said was exactly what he meant. he/your relationship is also not the most interesting and important thing in the world. please stop obsessing over it, could we change the subject, only it's been 3 hours of the 'girls night out' and you haven't shut up about it once.
40. don't give me death-stares when i tell you to pull your top up. i don't want to see your tits, and i'm pretty sure you don't really want to show them to me (and everyone else in this public place). if your cunt was showing through your open flies would you be happy parading around like that? i think not!
41. kissing a guy who isn't your bf is cheating on him. i'm not judging you, but don't try and justify your lack of backbone by saying "it was just a kiss"
42. if i've been friends with a guy for years, and he really genuinely is a friend to me (and nothing more), then he's fair game for my girl friends. however, if you treat him like shit, don't be surprised if i side with him at the break-up
sarah22
Well-Known Member
i still havent learned my lesson...lol. i love them and i just cant seem to kick the habit. bad boys seem to like me though because im sweet
sarah22
Well-Known Member
dude...those are great!
i'll add em up!
idlehands80
Active Member
.........if it is ok for you to call him names ie; dickhead, asshole, prick etc....don't be offended if he calls you a bitch. It is just another word, just be glad your HIS bitch!!!!!!
Another one along the same lines...............Telling you to stop being bitchy is not the same as calling you a slut cunt whore bitch, so stop acting like it!
(If you can't tell this annoys be greatly, common argument with my wife)
Another one along the same lines...............Telling you to stop being bitchy is not the same as calling you a slut cunt whore bitch, so stop acting like it!
(If you can't tell this annoys be greatly, common argument with my wife)
idlehands80
Active Member
oh and another one. If you are going to tell me about your or a friends problems then don't get mad when I give my opinion. If you say the dishwasher is broken, you want me to fix it right? Or would you just like me to listen to you and smile and nod?
idlehands80
Active Member
If you tell a friend something someone else told you not to tell anyone, do not be mad when they do the same. You broke the confidentiality first.
Don't tell anyone something that you don't want everyone to know about. It WILL get around. Guys don't do this, neither should you.
Don't tell anyone something that you don't want everyone to know about. It WILL get around. Guys don't do this, neither should you.
Johnnyorganic
Well-Known Member
I have to be honest.
If I began dating a woman and learned that I was being graded against an arbitrary list like this one.
I wouldn't just walk to the nearest exit. I would run.
Even if she looked like Jessica Alba, loved blow jobs, and the New York Yankees.
If I began dating a woman and learned that I was being graded against an arbitrary list like this one.
I wouldn't just walk to the nearest exit. I would run.
Even if she looked like Jessica Alba, loved blow jobs, and the New York Yankees.
ricky ronatello
Well-Known Member
your missing --> lick mans giant balls after ruff tuff sex
idlehands80
Active Member
Even better............learn to love the chode. lick it, suck on it if you can. the man will love you forever if you give good head and love the chode!!!!!!!!!
(also none as taint and/or gooch)
BTW.....the whole swallowing thing is overrated.....as long as she dont pull away aint nothing sexier then when she looks up at you and has cum trails cumming out the side of her mouth, lol
Mrs. Worm
Active Member
That made me laugh... AND throw up in my mouth a little.
sarah22
Well-Known Member
lol i dont know 1 single girl who doesnt have a list like this, or who doesnt "grade" guys, or put them through tests etc. im sure that there may be girls out there who dont do these things, im just saying, i've never met one
Johnny Retro
Well-Known Member
Woa woa woa, Jessica Alba is a WHOLE different story
[Youtube]21-Mcd0byo0[/Youtube]
Johnnyorganic
Well-Known Member
I would estimate that your rule #1 disqualifies just about every dude I have ever known who was not a metrosexual. Most guys enjoy bathroom humor.lol i dont know 1 single girl who doesnt have a list like this, or who doesnt "grade" guys, or put them through tests etc. im sure that there may be girls out there who dont do these things, im just saying, i've never met one
What can I say? We think fart jokes are funny. Especially when they come out of nowhere.
[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jHkNRn9GGjA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jHkNRn9GGjA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]
Frankly, I'm a little surprised you didn't include The Three Stooges on your list, too.