I was a solid case for a DUI several years ago.
I was out driving around, because of some stupid girl drama, after at least a good 36 hours of drinking without sleep. By that I mean, I was having a casual, scenic drive on the 55 mph section of highway a tad excited, but completely in control. I swear, I only drank one bottle of Jim and worked another bottle of gin.
Granted, I was pulled over because (as my arrest tape revealed) an informant called on me, but I was still just barely, lazily drifting by the state trooper at a measly 88 mph when he pulled me over. It was a Beetle though, so I guess that is kind of speeding for it.
Well, I've always gotten out of tickets and arrests by being straight with a sense of humor if they're good cops, but I didn't think he was going to overlook the two inches remaining in the fifth of Seagram's in the passenger seat. (Roaches were still in the cup holder when I got out of impound.) He appeared to be a gentleman and polite and all when he presented himself, so I just told him, "Just go ahead and put me in the back of the car." He asked why, and I told him "Because you're just going to anyway." So he looks at me with a look of fake confusion, and babbles some 'get me to talk' shit, but I just respond with, "I'm trying to work with you and be polite." This worked on him just right, and he said c'mon. He tried to give me some field sobriety tests, which I'm a master at (practice), but concluded it was too damn windy.
I refused all "scientific" tests, such as blood and the horribly inaccurate breathalyser (ask a cop if he'd take a breathalyser, it's funny). It was still a legal right to do so. *dries a tear*
When we get to County, I do the whole try to sleep in a hard ass chair, handcuffed thing for an hour and a half, then he pulls me in to sign a confession.
On the way there I did talk to him a little about the girl problems, and I was careful, but I would avoid such risky behavior if I did it again. I only told him a couple of sentences about the girl shit before I said, "I should probably not talk to you right now." He asked why, and I told him, "Because you're a cop."
Anyways, I was way too drunk and sleepy to read the confession he wrote out for me, so I just got to the point and said, "I'm not signing or saying anything without my lawyer (you don't need a lawyer to say that, I didn't have a current one). He asked if I was sure or some little beg like that, and I responded with "I'm taking advantage of my right to remain silent. Can I please have a pillow?"
I still have the DVD and I know how smashed I was. Witness/friends that saw me that night cannot believe it. I only got away with a plea, but it was for obstruction of a roadway or some retarded shit, and I didn't get a wrecking DUI strike. I didn't even keep my mouth closed correctly, but I now see the intense value of it.
Great link, thanks for spreading your love.
If there are any MADD like people that have a problem with me, please start another thread about it and I'll argue with you there, so as not to derail this useful thread. I just wanted to offer testimony in agreement with the advice of the thread.