I quote Robin Williams from Good Will Hunting: "You're not perfect. And let me save you the mystery; this woman you like isn't perfect either. The question isn't 'Is she perfect', but 'Is she perfect FOR YOU."
The only way to be sure if someone is perfect for you is to date them for a loooooong time. Because people change over time or rather, some people take a long time ot let you in to their real self.
'She' does exist. But you might just walk past her without speaking because you've committed yourself to 'close-enough'. My uncle used to say: "You can live with a lot of people; but you marry the one you can't live without." -Nah. As a rule, don't marry until the day you want children. That way, either of you is free to walk out the door.
Right here is my answer. She is out there dude, just dont try to impress or fake anyone out. Be real, be true, honest, and speak your mind. Be courteous.
Remember, you cannot expect to be able to love someone before you can love yourself. I am not talking greed, I am talking that if you feel you are a sucky person or your life is bad, figure out how to fix it. If it is finances, downsize your life. You dont need a lot of the shit you have. Smaller makes you feel more cozy too. Do what you need for
yourself and you will meet someone who is enjoying that same thing. If your hobby doesnt lead you outside... maybe you should find a new hobby if you want to find a chick eh? It takes some amount of effort, but remember its always a matter of chance so be yourself, ask a girl out if you like her the worst she can say is no. There is roughly 6.8 billion inhabitants on this Earth, of which more than 3.3 billion (2008 estimate) are women. Any encounter with a woman is a 50/50 chance, with the odds increasing the more you increase your self understanding and psychological maturation.
Do things for yourself. You will inevitably find someone in the path of doig something that you LIKE> and if you have like interests, it is not everything, but it is a good start.
Dont expect
anything from
anyone,
anytime. PERIOD. Be grateful for every good moment, and try to shrug off the bad. Just because a person is cute, but only meets 2 of your list of 10 necessary thigs in a man/woman, doesnt mean you need to try to hammer a square peg into a round hole with a 6lb sledge. Accept everyone at face value, prima facie.
Improve yourself. Look at yourself and improve those things you find necessary. Find someone who is blunt who will tell you what your problems are, theres plenty of them around.
I have been, sexually, with over 116 women and 6 men, have had relationships with more than 20 women from varying ages between when I was 13 until present (under 30) and thought all women were nutjobs, having dated more than 20 of them.
Until I gave up
trying and started doing things for myself, regardless of what ANYONE thinks. I stopped giving a flat fuck what anyone thinks, and told most of my "closet skeletons" to people at work, parties, etc. It was liberating. And ironically, because I can divulge such "sensitive" information in the open public, people find me to be honest, loyal, trustworthy, etc. Its amazing. I have people twice my age asking for advise or more research for natural medicine for crohns or whatever... I have developed myself since I have discovered this quest for understanding. I suggest you try to seek to understand yourself from the inner depths. Perhaps try
Trichocereus Peruvianis
But be mindful. Ask your God(or lack thereof) for insight into your inner soul, and for a connection to knowledge and understanding of everything around you. You will discover your faults. Fix them. Then worry about fining someone else.
They will come to you before you are ever ready to go and find them.
Guaranteed.