CrackerJax
New Member
All at the same time.... airbag & ego both deflate...
Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
CrackerJax
New Member
I think he woke her up ...
She was dreaming of being in the sack with Ed McMahon
She was dreaming of being in the sack with Ed McMahon
CrackerJax
New Member
HighyyYoooooo....!!! Ed got plenty of tail in his day....
Dr. Greenhorn
Well-Known Member
funny shit! lady was scared half to death when dude tooted the horn! LOL look like he woke her up from sleeping or something. LOL at the dude revving his engine like it's gonna do something. the airbag getting activated by the old lady was the icing on the cake . ahahahaahaha
Dr. Greenhorn
Well-Known Member
aww man! that was funny too! go gramps!!
go gramps!!
Hydrotech364
Well-Known Member
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess.... 'Will you marry me?'
The Princess said, 'NO !!!' And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and smoked pounds of weed and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The end
CrackerJax
New Member
And the Prince moved back in with his Mom, and stayed in the basement all day in his underwear looking at online porn and ordering pizzas.
The end
The end
hardroc
New Member
javascript:; I hope this comes out, I'm trying to get the hang of posting shit, I'm not very good with comps, I have a shit load of stuff in my E-mail my buddy always sends me and I wanna try and share it.
THE DOT For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in Canada . If nothing is there, then he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.
THE DOT For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in Canada . If nothing is there, then he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.
......
Well-Known Member
lol im still not sure.I assumed it was a women.
hardroc
New Member
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side..'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side..'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'
hardroc
New Member
At the Saturday night tent revival the preacher announces,
"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar."
Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks:
"Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you ?"
Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy how is your hearing now?"
Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday."
"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar."
Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks:
"Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you ?"
Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy how is your hearing now?"
Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday."
