Trust issues

[Jesushasdreads]

Hey i got a problem that is sort of related to pot growing and sort of related to my girlfriend.....i know you guys aren't psychiatrists but you are all stoners or growers and maybe someone has had this problem. Ok so i mentioned something about my outdoor grow for the coming summer and my girlfriend got interested. She asked me where i was going to plant them and i told her that i couldn't tell her because i don't take any chances with outdoor plants. She knows i got a couple plants in the house and all but i am uneasy about telling anyone, especially on an outdoor grow, and i guess that includes her as well. Now she thinks i dont trust her...but the thing is if it came down to some cops interigating her and asking about me i would rather her not know a thing because cops are crooked fuck any ideas?

 

[VictorVIcious]

soo...you can't convince her that it's not because you don't trust her. It's just that you can't trust anyone, its nothing personal? Sorry to inform you, you will have to make a decision. This is now about who is going to be in control, in your relationship. If it works this time, it will become the pattern for the rest of your lives. You will be forced to give in over and over, you will always be trying to prove that you mean what you say.
This method has probably worked for her with her parents, so she assumes everyone will be like they are, no match for her sad you don't love me, trust me eyes. They always give in.
If you love someone, you must be prepared to 'let them go'. If they don't come back to you, they were never ours in the first place. Better to find out now. Trust 27 years of that experience. If its going to end over some thing as trivial as this, you will be better off. And if it doesn't turn out to be that important, so important she would give you up, then you have lost nothing and gained her respect. Understand if you do this and then lie to her.....VV

 

[W33D]

This happens with my girlfriend. I have a couple inside, and she goes and shows her buddy when she comes over. I got pissed and told her what happens and how people get busted, you tell someone, they tell someone who tells someone who tells the wrong person who tells the cops. Now she doesn't say anything to anyone. But just tell your girl that if she loves you, she'll drop it. Just tell her, "Just in case we ever fight and break up some day, you don't rat me out in hatred. If you love me promise you won't ever do that no matter how bad it gets." or something like it.

 

[fdd2blk]

teach her how to grow.

 

[Lacy]

Yes. If she is showing interest, teach her what you know. Perhaps she may want to help you and become involved.
I am sure if you sat down with her and explained your concern about people knowing, she should understand but to just say that you don't trust her would be hurtful.

I agree that the less people know about your grow the better BUT if this is your significant other that you share your life with, then share this part of your life with her. Unless of course it is someone you just met. In that case,be kind but not stupid.

teach her how to grow.

 

[bwinn27]

then why be with her i tust my girlfriend with my life. and she loves my plant unless its takeing away time from her lol

 

[kayasgarden]

i do what i want and my hubby knows but he also knows telling people makes me want to kill them all. I said i was gonna once and now he wont tell anyone. See he loves to smoke but im the plant lady so he needs my babies to get hight without the big bill.

 

[kayasgarden]

o yea kill the plants i mean, not a person I was so pissed he told the guys he works with

 

[Lacy]

I'm the grower here but hubby doesn't smoke. I remember one year he decided to tell a fellow worker and I was pissed. I do trust him with my life also but times err.
Even this year he told some of his fellow workers that he was growing weed for a friend. I have no idea why 'cause I don't tell anyone except for him.

Sometimes even the ones you trust the most can let you down but I would have rather trusted him and be let down than not trust him at all.

Just my $.o2

o yea kill the plants i mean, not a person I was so pissed he told the guys he works with

 

[Lacy]

and my 2 neighbours know but that is because I want to be able to toke outdoors and grow without feeling paranoid and worried. They are totally cool with it and understand the situation. I love my neighbours.

 

[kayasgarden]

yea 3 people know i grow and they are all other growers who i have known my entire life. I have been with my hub eight years, no real marriage but whatever, and i trust a few others equaly but not many.

the important thing is that you talk about it and come to an agreement without her feeling to bad. What we are doing should not be illegal but we just have to be reminded that is it every once in ahile.

 

[bwinn27]

my girl told here mom thats it but she loves smoking and cant wate to get some of my plant. and her x grows and been growing since the 1970s never seen them but herd they where good. other wise no one knows. lacy im over trying to be the man lmao.

 

[Jesushasdreads]

hey thanks for all the responses, my girlfriend and i are very close and the problem is i believe she percieves me coming off as hypocritical. We share our lives in many other ways and have a mutual trusting relationship, however, i think she is scared that i have a secret i don't want to tell her. I can understand though...if she was the one growing and didn't want to include me. She has very basic gardening skills...she used to help her grandma with her outdoor flowers... and helps out with my indoor plants if she can. Like she helps hang mylar, plant seedlings, move lights around, stuff like that; but when it is outdoors i feel more at risk. I have done outdoor grows myself before and had no troubles keeping it quiet but now that i am older and in a serious relationship with a woman i love im hesitant. I think our best solution would be to talk it out and the ideal solution would be for her to be my accompliace in this and feel worried about others knowing the same way i do. Thanks again for the input and to those of you happily married and growing, i envy you and wish you many more years of happy marriage. Merry Christmas

 

[pandabear]

my advice is your fucked already if she knows about the indoor grows. i know someone who used to post here who got busted just a few months ago, and guess by who? thats right his pissed off Gurlfriend with whom he shares a child, they barged in his house and found everthing.


anyway what im tryin to say is that if she already knows about the indoor ones then she already has the power to blab to the wrong person or worse.

my wife after a fight tells my sister about my grow, this was not good at all, took me a whole string of bullshiting to convince my sis that my little plants died and I never proceeded growing.


lastly the key question is how long have u been together? if its not long or you sense any termoil in the relationship i would terminate all operations untill the rel is rectified or culminated.


And remember weed is not a replacement for a woman, .........but on the otherhand a woman is a replacment for your soul


but hey they do have boobies

 

[DOT5262]

tell her its for her own good... like you said.... or you could tell her... and if you get in a fight... just kill her

 

[Unique]

Plausible denial....its all for her own good why you dont tell her.
If she knows and you get busted she gets in trouble too....that will shut her up.

 

[madcow]

teach her how to grow.

Thats what I did! ")

 

[moon47usaco]

I wouldn't tell myself where my plants are if i could help it... =O

Like having an alter personality that stays tucked away for safe keeping of secrets...

Just tell her...

IF I TELL YOU ILL HAVE TO KILL YOU... =]

JK... Things that sensitive have nothing to do with trust... It just boils down to the LESS ppl that know the better... So its better for her to be that less one person... =]

 

[SoloGro57]

Just tell her that you don't want to put her in a position of having to lie for you. In the future keep your grows to yourself.

 

[glockstar21]

Tell her "they are gone, someone must have found them and picked them"…lol or "they died". It's only a little lie for the good of both of you.