Female perspective here. SHE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU IF YOU KEEP SMOKING OR GROWING. It'll eventually be the straw that breaks the camels back even if it continues now. Some chicks dig it, (most) some dont. I feel terrible your marriage has continued this long. Since your asking for advice, find a chick who is a stoner and loves you. If it were in my shoes, regretfully, I'd leave, and continue my lifestyle. This advice is ONLY if you DONT HAVE CHILDREN, which you say you dont. As for the cat, I hate them so my suggestion is a shooting range, but that's my own issues to overcome.
You also have to be concerned during divorce court. If (when) it gets ugly, she's the one going to school and you've been the bread winner. Illegal proceeds are the same as legal proceeds in a court of law. She shows the judge how much weed you grow and how much money you make, and guess who gives you a knock on the door a little while later. 5-0! Be *VERY* cautious and NEVER grow at home for probably a year after your divorce. Grow it with a friend at their house or something. Or heed your own advice and move to California or another state of your choosing where its lawful.
Good luck man, I feel for ya, but remember, this is just one chicks point of view. ONLY your opinion matters, follow your heart and look out for yourself.