One last thing Alababba, I really hope you get to talk to a professional (counselor) about your situation; expressing yourself on this website is likely more harmful than helpful in the case you aren't actually talking about growing weed. Mostly I am just really sorry there have been so many mean spirited posts blindly attacking you; it's just not right (no matter what your religion may be, no healthy person wishes pain and suffering onto others).
To everyone: I guess as a newb I'm just really ignorant about the world this community lives in. I'm certainly learning our environments seem considerably varied (and not always progressive). So from this point forward, I'll have to keep in mind that for some peops, butt sex and fellatio (between men) are simply worse sins than hatred and violence. This should help me be kinder to you all, even when you say things I feel are horribly violent and ignorant (all IMPO of course; maybe in your world for example, hatred and violence are celebrated?). [Ephesians 4:18]
But anyway, I appreciate all the supportive posts and msgs I've gotten from so many of you. Makes me glad to know I'm not the only one thinking the same thing. LOL
Peace!