Yup yup I'm right there with you I became a grumpy bear lmao and yeah I don't label either just confuses people because sometimes I call father dad lol and well that's just to not hurt his feelings mostly lol sounds bad oh well damn I need to vape I had long day!!! I would love to let anyone be me for a day lol
holy fuck girl..... I was gonna message you about this, but its happy enough to not worry about people that dont know my story, or at least part of it
to hear as well......
i am usually the sterotypical scrooge.... I love the holidays b/c of the family time, but I tend to freak the fuck out if things aren't "perfect", and I end up being the one to ruin the holiday.....
this year started out rough... after swearing to be as calm and peaceful as possible, even went to the point of having "it's all about the kids" card in my pocket, to try to remind myself that it doesnt have to be "perfect", just perfect for the kids......... but my oldest had to rip open every present under the tree while we were sleeping.... after talking to him when he got up, explaining that "santa came, but you gotta wait till mawmaw/pawpaw get here to open them", to which he understood and agreed to..... i went back to bed as it was the asscrack of dawn, and awoke to him ripping open the last one quietly in the living room.....
so I blew the fuck up..... my feelings were honestly hurt and I wanted to cry, as my only gift this year was seeing the kids excitement, so wifee sent me to go to the store to get some things we need and to cool off.... on the way out I was yelling at her to call the family and tell them it was cancelled, we weren't hosting anymore, as usual, she doesnt do a damn thing i tell her to when I'm angry, as shes a good bit more levelheaded/cool than me..... on the ride, even though i was pissed to high heaven, there was still a little voice of intuition saying, "just bite your tounge, and it will get better.... dont fuck up this christmas".... and oddly enough, i listened to my inner voice even though i had "no fuckng clue why the fuck I'm wasting my time/energy on this now".....
turned out to be the best christmas I could ever ask for..... everybody was invited this year, and that's just 2families, but it was amazing to see everyone get along, honestly, without having to chew thier tounge off "for the kids".... makes me realize that all of my efforts arent in vain, I'm slowly succeeding in putting back together my ripped up family....
enough of grow's random rambles.... just wanted to contribute, and cheer you up a little bit, as yesterday was proof for me that it's never too late to patch shit up, no matter how bad the past was..... hit me up in a pm for all the juicy/tear jerking, personal details
I know it's nothing that telling you will fix, because you already know, but sometimes you just gotta let shit ride and let it be, as the unexpected stuff that you dont freak out about and just roll with, ends up being the "perfect" days..... you've gotta remember where your control lies.... only in yourself, so no matter how hard we try to make shit perfect, if there is anyone besides ourselves there, we will inevitably fail.... all you can do is not be the bad guy.... I'm actually learning that now, after hearing it my whole life.
hope you all enjoyed a day in the life of rene!
