Great Stoner Quotes

[420]

Originally Posted by FAT SPLIFF
ever think about how fucking
telephones work?. its werid shit
man.


hahahah that is funny shit , its so fkn true though ,it would be so hard to create.

my grandma wondered how fax machines work. she asked me, "how do they roll the paper up and send it down the wires?"
funny!

 

[LION~of~ZION]

year - 1988 Orlando, Florida

Good friend and I standing in the parking lot of the condos we lived in stoned off our asses after school on some Incredible Acupulco Gold bud...

HIM - dazed in a monotone voice eyes wide open and fire red - "Duuuude, theres a naked guy behind youuu"

ME - baked out of my mind looking at him and laughing - "youre stoned dude, you are reeeealllyy stoned"

HIM with a shocked, scared look on his face eyes blazing red- "DUDE! theres a naked guy behind you near the dumpster he's coming over here!"

ME - laughing my ass off hysterically- "You are stoned off your ASS! whoaaa!"

HIM - grabbing me and turning me around while im laughing hysterically - "LOOOK!"

ME- in shock - "Holyshit dude theres a naked guy over there by the dumpster and he's coming this way..."

HIM- "I told you!!!..."

Me - "theres a naked dude over there climbing that fence wtf is he doing!?"

HIM -quietly looking at the guys hairy butt very disturbed - "I dont knowwww..."


Some naked guy was walking around our town and climbing fences into peoples backyards looking in their windows. The next day in the morning paper there was a write up about it - 30 people called the police the day before claiming they saw a naked man looking in their windows and/or walking down the street in the middle of town.

lmao.

 

[420]

Some naked guy was walking around our town and climbing fences into peoples backyards looking in their windows.

holy shit that would freak me out.
maybe he lost his pants somewhere.

 

[LION~of~ZION]

holy shit that would freak me out.
maybe he lost his pants somewhere.

It did freak us out and the funny thing was the guy kept walking toward us

like he wanted to have a conversation. He climbed an 8 foot wooden fence

to get to us. We just happened to be on the other side of that fence in the parking

lot stoned off our asses (what are the odds) he was pretty shocked when he saw us too lmao.

apparently he lost his pants and his mind that day

 

[Orangeman]

"I did not inhale"

 

[TEUFELHuNDEN420]

Iite me and a few of my buddies were smokin out of this nice glass pipe that i had for a while...
Me: "its about time to scrape this pipe of all this resin"
Friend1: "Of all the smoke that goes through that pipe and into our lungs, i bet i've got at least five times as much resin in my lungs!"
Me: "how can we scrape out our lungs then?"
Friend2: "Shoooot, if i die, you guys can scrape my lungs and smoke my lung resin."
Everyone: "WORD."

 

[420]

whoa that's darkside man - lung resin

 

[nomad]

yeah still laughin bout lung resin man that is soooooo funny!!!!!!!

 

[titanium3g]

had that happen, except i wasn't blazed, i was hungover...so it fucking blew..lol

Haha, try having your head shut in the sliding door of a minivan, not fun.

 

[hom36rown]

"is there a problem occiffer?" lol

 

[bloodshotEyz]

me: how was your day?
my friend: my day was glorious. i dominated in every aspect of life today.

friend: they think i'm godlike.
me: what kind of god are you?
friend: i'd say i'm like a mix between zeus and artemis

 

[MrPerfect744]

Me and my buddies were on a mountain ride recently. So on the way down we are crazy blazed. The blunt is tiny but I smoke it until it usually burns my fingers. Then we had this discussion:

Me: Yo dude you f@#$ squed the shit out of it!
Buddy: SQUED? what the hell is that! you mean i squeezed it.
Me(argumentatively): No dude u squozed it!
Buddy: What...SKUOZED! what happened to squed.
(all of us laughing histerically)
Me: yea yo to have squed is to already have been squeezed. and to have skuozed is to already have been squeezing. (still laughing)
Buddy: Your a retard dude. Theres no such words as SQUOZED and SQUED.
Me: Ur just not educated in the terms of squishing and squeezing blunts!
Buddy: WOW! YOUR HIGH!
(a moment of silence)
All 3 of us: Word!!

 

[overfiend]

"is there a problem occiffer?" lol

dont you mean "lucifer"

 

[hom36rown]

i meant to say officer, but thats what came out...occiffer...get it I was talking to a cop...and I started laughing right after I said it, so it was a dead give a way I was high.

 

[rev3la7ion]

No, he knows what you meant to say and the joke behind it but he was trying to make the point that cops are essentially the devil. hahaha

 

[TEUFELHuNDEN420]

haha, its not illegal to be high!

 

[rev3la7ion]

Thank god... lol

 

[taknitEZ95]

Me and some friends got really REALLY baked before eating lunch one time. While we were eating, this really dumb friend of mine who had been stairing into space for like 5 straight minutes all of a sudden busted out with "dude...what if we took a bunch of jews and dressed them up as Nazis and put them in a mosh pit with guns...only some of them didnt have amo?" It was easily THE most random thing I have ever heard...ever.

 

[hydronewbie]

I still think this one is one of my favorites.

What seems to be the officer problem??

 

[Erniedytn]

Wow...I can't believe this thread is still kicking. The author is looooong gone. I made some of my firsts posts here.