Is Marijuana holding me back?

[hydroled]

Well this is my first post on the forum, I have read a ton of cool posts here as it seems to be a great resource.... Thought I would post this here because many share a similar lifestyle..

I've been trying to get a girlfriend lately and been wanting one for forever. But I have had no luck at all in the past 2 years. I've had girlfriends before, lived with a couple girls for a few years and dated more. I'm 30 years old, straight, 5'9 185lbs...in case you were wondering.

I go out to a local bar in my area located in the art/restaurant/hippie district about twice a week. There is almost nothing but people my age there, never many singles girls as with any other bar. Every chance I do get I take the opportunity to talk with them. But as with most social settings they are always with a group of friends and the music is cranking. So there is little chance of bonding with them when I do get an opportunity to talk. I have tried online dating but don't seem to get very many replies as a male. I'm sure a female could post an online profile and have enough dates to fill the entire year, if they ever responded back. I didn't grow up here or go to college here so I don't know a ton of people. Most of my local friends are in the same situation as I am (single) and one or two have a girlfriend. I also go to the supermarket and coffee shop and will approach a single girl, strike up a little small talk and ask for a number. I can get a phone number sometimes, but then the girl doesn't answer when I call or we will text each other like 6 times and then it's over. So I start again and this process repeats. Then I get depressed or frustrated and stop trying for a few weeks. Then I get back up and try again, only to get the exact same results. Wondering if anyone else has the same experience in life with this? Also if you have any real advice for getting a girlfriend?

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[RawBudzski]

Yes.. yes it is. Now give me a second to read your post.

 

[RawBudzski]

Ok dr.love reporting back. Hrmm, well.. .do you only smoke mj? If so that is a big no no! You must Grow It ! my son. That should be your 1st step, do you use online sites? facebook & such.. that is probably your best bet IRL. but my personal fav would be to meet a girl out on some random mission to the store, or gas station.. that is hard though in todays times.. cause that hot chick is waiting in line updating her twitter & shit from her phone.>.<

I personally dont facebook, but then again I am single and looking.. Damnit>.< can someone chime in here & help me and the op out.

 

[jammin screw]

Dude can I ask what yall talk about when yall text eachother the first 6 times? N how often did u txt?..... N wait to txt or call? All these play parts, or maybe u know

 

[Nusky]

It's not the weed. Don't tell them you smoke weed, you can tell them later when you're like half a year into dating and they just invested a shitload of time into you. Always wear clean clothes, keep your self groomed. Not much else to say. I don't even bother talking to girls, they talk to me and it's always worked out great but this way you don't get as many as you could. But if they bothered to talk to you, they are interested.

Try talking to people in malls, they're usually always alone. Movie theaters are another great place but they tend to be with friends. Just work your charm on each one and I'm sure one will like you. Try dating at work, if your work is mostly married women or men, try getting a part time job in something like retail. If you have a good job, and get a part time retail position, girls will be all over you.

Another good way is to visit some place regularly and talk to the people working there. They pretty much have to be nice to you, and after a while you'll really get to know her and then you can ask her out.

 

[hydroled]

"Jammin Screw" Well the texts are usually just getting to know each other. "Hey how was your weekend" "What do you like to do for fun" "What's your life like, do you go to school, work, have any interesting hobbies?" All along those lines.. Might call some and text some. Never overbearing or anything. The girls are usually pretty nice, but they just flake out and stop returning...

"Nusky" I work on properties painting and repair. No girls at work whatsoever. I've tried malls, it's tuff to ever get a girl to stop and talk for more than a minute. It's like your alone and they don't know who you are so it's like they are to scared to talk or something. I've tried the movie theaters as well, everyone seems to be in a group there. So when you approach a girl in that setting, you approach the whole group and no one knows you so there all just staring at you and listening to you. I don't care, but the situation just turns awkward.

 

[John0156]

seems like your trying to hard, when you go out do it to have fun not trying to get a girl. and trust me eventually it will happen just try to have fun. trust me if the girls see that your having the time of your life then they will want to have just as much fun as you are and will want to hang with you. then you invite them home and shazamm there you have it doesnt sound like this is weed related at all though. just be outgoing and not sit in the corner and think that your going to fail.

 

[RawBudzski]

No no no your not doing it right.. dont text them.. sext them. Sexting is the latest & greatest thing diddnt you know! Just send her a nice 460x500jpg of your German helmet shlong & your in there!

 

[PeyoteReligion]

You really think if you quit smoking that you are all of the sudden gonna be mister smooth up in the joint? I don't think so. Take a look at the man in the mirror and tell him to get his shit together and start laying some pipe!

 

[jammin screw]

It's not the weed. Don't tell them you smoke weed, you can tell them later when you're like half a year into dating and they just invested a shitload of time into you. Always wear clean clothes, keep your self groomed. Not much else to say. I don't even bother talking to girls, they talk to me and it's always worked out great but this way you don't get as many as you could. But if they bothered to talk to you, they are interested.

Try talking to people in malls, they're usually always alone. Movie theaters are another great place but they tend to be with friends. Just work your charm on each one and I'm sure one will like you. Try dating at work, if your work is mostly married women or men, try getting a part time job in something like retail. If you have a good job, and get a part time retail position, girls will be all over you.

Another good way is to visit some place regularly and talk to the people working there. They pretty much have to be nice to you, and after a while you'll really get to know her and then you can ask her out.

I agree it's not the weed and these are real good tactics to use especially visit a place regularly, cause you will see if the girl is into you or likes you and is comfortable, then u can get a number or go straight into askin if u cAn take her to dinner n movie,

 

[maineyankee]

What about at work? ( I hope you are currently employed) ... also, I would just let things happen. It sounds like you are a little bit anxious to get something going, and fast. Things need to be taken in stride, and the right one will come along, and then both of you will be happy forever. Being 53 years old, I am glad that for me it is over ( Been happily married now for 28 years). In today's world there are so many distractions with electronic this and that ... that people just forget about all of the basics that we had back in the day. It just seems that if you have to text or join FB and send a pic of yourself to someone, then (IMO) it just would not be worth it.

Just one final tip ... I would rather have someone that truly cared about me with a big heart, than someone who is just eye candy and shallow.

Good Luck Bro and keep me posted ... I do care

The MaineYankee

 

[hydroled]

seems like your trying to hard, when you go out do it to have fun not trying to get a girl. and trust me eventually it will happen just try to have fun. trust me if the girls see that your having the time of your life then they will want to have just as much fun as you are and will want to hang with you. then you invite them home and shazamm there you have it doesnt sound like this is weed related at all though. just be outgoing and not sit in the corner and think that your going to fail.

Yeah but keeping it real here, you go out to a bar and you just have a good time right. Then girls really don't even enter the picture, unless they are with your group. When I go out and just have fun, I don't get any shots at getting a girl. Because girls NEVER approach me! If I want a girl, I have to do the approaching. If I don't, I won't even have a chance. I don't know many girls that go home the night you meet them and then shazamm in bed. Where do you find girls like that? Now in the movies and tv shows, yeah that happens, but not much in real life.

also, I would just let things happen. It sounds like you are a little bit anxious to get something going, and fast. Things need to be taken in stride, and the right one will come along, and then both of you will be happy forever.

I've tried that as well over the last two years! Just let things happen. Funny thing is NOTHING ever happens! It's kind of like wanting a job, if you just wait for it to happen you will be jobless for quit a while!

 

[RawBudzski]

Actually it happens alot in real life, depending on the individual. As annoying as it may seem, or be.. having a nice ride, nice clothes, or house.. will get you laid that night more chances than not. If one wishes to experience that, maybe they must work 2years + just to get to that point. Sleeping with a chick the 1st night.. is different than finding a girl you want to date & be with. alot different.

Yeah but keeping it real here, you go out to a bar and you just have a good time right. Then girls really don't even enter the picture, unless they are with your group. When I go out and just have fun, I don't get any shots at getting a girl. Because girls NEVER approach me! If I want a girl, I have to do the approaching. If I don't, I won't even have a chance. I don't know many girls that go home the night you meet them and then shazamm in bed. Where do you find girls like that? Now in the movies and tv shows, yeah that happens, but not much in real life.

I personally do not like easy sluts so I do not enjoy the bar/club/party scene..& im not going to give the 1% of decent girls there the benefit of the doubt. So00o0ooo .. my 1965 coupe deville does me no good to onlookers passing by. I want to meet a girl in Wal-mart, so she cant see my car, friends, house, money.. but if I wanted to get laid.. just go out and floss for a few hours & Wham BaM! some ratchet wants to ride.

 

[Jack Harer]

Dude, it ain't the pot. It's something in how you handle yourself. Like has been said, always be clean and smell nice. (Invest in some GOOD cologne, Axe just doesn't get it in reality). It's a numbers game also. Be out there, be friendly open, and honest consistently. Ask 'em to dance (I hate dancing, and trip over my own 2 left feet, but I do it) When you are with them, LISTEN to them, don't monopolize the conversation, and don't talk about you. Ask about them!!! If they wanna know about you, they'll ask. Be a bit "mysterious".
Off the wall dates work well, too. Go somewhere really off the wall but cool. I took a girl to the Fairchild Tropical Gardens in Miami once when I was researching some info on Terra Preta. The chic was amazed that I knew something about what I was there for!!
Good luck, and don't give up. I have found that when I'm TRYING to connect, it's harder than if I just go with the flow.

 

[hydroled]

but if I wanted to get laid.. just go out and floss for a few hours & Wham BaM! some ratchet wants to ride.

Nice bro, sounds like a good hip hop song! Doubt this works...sounds cool though!

 

[xKuroiTaimax]

I agree with Budzski... some random girl you meet in a bar is not going to be someone you date, really... Getting someone to sleep with you is not a relationship.

I was going ask, don't you meet people at work...

Do you have a stoner circle of friends? Maybe there's a girl you really enjoy toking up with and talking about how you both view the universe lol

Be patient, and I know that horrible lonely feeling... I've never had a boyfriend XP

 

[RawBudzski]

Where you from? Well, It does sound like a hip hop song huh.. I have been in several hip hop songs as well ^_^ .. though I do not feel any cooler.
Welcome To California.. Dude.

Nice bro, sounds like a good hip hop song! Doubt this works...sounds cool though!

Remember, not everyone is the same or equal. =/
If that sounds like a hip hop song to you, You would consider my life a movie. For'real.

 

[jammin screw]

I once met this girl shortly before I left a friends, and smiled and dint say much else but it's real nice to meet you but sorry for makin it short I gotta run u take care, n later my homeboy called and said hey that girl liked you n thought u were cute want me to give her your number?... Said yeah wth..so bout 1 hour later she called n we talked for a good while maybe an hour n somehow we got to the point of sex talk n I promise you she came over shortly after that, jus a couple of hours after we met bro.... It ain't rocket science jus alil talk and semi manipulating and listening and check your boundaries quickly.... U jus will know.... No joke bro

 

[hydroled]

"xKuroiTaimax" I'll be honest, I want a girlfriend someone I can talk to, share my journey with in the universe etc. I love sex, so sleeping with a chick would be ok as well. But I'm looking for a real girlfriend. Can't find either! I do have circle of stoners. However the two girls in that circle have boyfriends.

 

[RawBudzski]

Ill be your boyfriend. Budzski is alonee. :[ *tear*

I agree with Budzski... some random girl you meet in a bar is not going to be someone you date, really... Getting someone to sleep with you is not a relationship.

I was going ask, don't you meet people at work...

Do you have a stoner circle of friends? Maybe there's a girl you really enjoy toking up with and talking about how you both view the universe lol

Be patient, and I know that horrible lonely feeling... I've never had a boyfriend XP