What's an Apology Worth?

[Brick Top]

in order for one to give a sincere apology they must first feel remorse.

True heartfelt remorse might very well be enough for an apology to be sincere, but it still may not ever be able to come close to healing a deep enough wound and or restoring lost trust.

For some things there is no going back, and going back, in more than one way, would be needed. In a way it would be like going back in time since you would need to return to feelings, emotions, trust and a mindset before they were greatly altered by events, and one would have to be capable of doing that to be able to forgive and move on without carrying the baggage or scars of the event and living with it from then on.

 

[ThE sAtIvA hIgH]

When i have fights or arguments with my gf and i know i did wrong, i apologize and change my ways that caused that argument. If i dont change them, then my apology was not meaningful and vice versa. Change in character is what i look for when someone apologizes to me, if there is no change, i know they were not being honest.



Sticking to the example above about me and my gf, i remember i was a huge asshole at first cause i didnt want a gf, but with time i started to really like my gf and eventually, i fell in love with her. I did apologize for my lack of character and decided to change my ways cause she is worth it. We are very happy today with each other and enjoy being around one another everyday. I have not been an asshole with her since that day, the change was necessary if i wanted to be happy.




I know bro, I cant find one i really like... i will make an effort to find one today...

why dont you have a cartoon drawing of mohammed as your avatar olly , that would be pretty cool .

 

[PeyoteReligion]

People are humans and therefore make mistakes. It's apart of the growing process regardless how stupid it all may seem. It's just out nature to fuck up. How u take those mistakes afterwards is on you. Learning and moving on us the idea and if the person is sincere or you believe so then you should take that for what it is. I guess it would be all about how genuIne they are. But everyone makes mistakes...

This is all well and good and I agree, people just tend to fuck up. On the other hand a person who is a repeat fuck up and makes the same mistakes over and over, then an apology means nothing. Just hot air.

 

[mindphuk]

why dont you have a cartoon drawing of mohammed as your avatar olly , that would be pretty cool .

Like this?

 

[tyler.durden]

...I'm a grudge holder myself. Don't get me wrong I'll forgive lots, but cross the line once and that's it. No apology, or amount of talking will ever change my mind.

I'm the same way. If the person that wronged me means a lot to me, I'll easily forgive with a sincere apology. I have clear lines of respect, though, that once crossed, that person is out of my life for good...

 

[olylifter420]

you do know holding grudges makes you older?

I'm the same way. If the person that wronged me means a lot to me, I'll f clear lines

 

[olylifter420]

already got one... anyone hating on ray ray aint cool

Like this?

 

[Zaehet Strife]

all about intentions

 

[The Chemist Brothers]

Im skeptical about apologies.

also it depends if is something i can forgive them for at that time, if it's something severe then good luck getting me to turn the other cheek. and i wont trust you because thats just the way i am.

 

[Shannon Alexander]

If it is just verbal then an apology means jack shit...

 

[AltarNation]

Really depends on the situation... I've gotten a lot of questionable apologies.

In order to cover my own ass, my policy is, Forgive, but do not forget.

 

[april]

I think we need to learn to accept that others have feelings and emotions that we don't always get or uderstand or even agree with, but knowing when ur words have hurt or offended someone and being able to truly say sorry is a gift not all people can offer or even accept when they feel offended.

Which is more difficult, truly saying "sorry" or actualy forgiving someone??

I fully accept when i offend or hurt someone, regardless if i agree or not, it's their feelings i'm accepting, not my own. But forgiving someone is very hard, lol i question if i would accept my own apologie lmfao Now that truly makes me think lol

 

[eye exaggerate]

I think we need to learn to accept that others have feelings and emotions that we don't always get or uderstand or even agree with, but knowing when ur words have hurt or offended someone and being able to truly say sorry is a gift not all people can offer or even accept when they feel offended.

Which is more difficult, truly saying "sorry" or actualy forgiving someone??

I fully accept when i offend or hurt someone, regardless if i agree or not, it's their feelings i'm accepting, not my own. But forgiving someone is very hard, lol i question if i would accept my own apologie lmfao Now that truly makes me think lol

...when people cannot forgive it is usually indicative of their inability to forgive themselves - and move on toward happiness (appiness?? )

...this is what I was saying in a previous post. A gift is not a gift if it remains unopened - an apology is a responsibility.

I'm borrowing this from a conversation I had with a psychologist about art and artists. Some gifts can hurt, so-to-speak.

 

[april]

...when people cannot forgive it is usually indicative of their inability to forgive themselves - and move on toward happiness (appiness?? )

...this is what I was saying in a previous post. A gift is not a gift if it remains unopened - an apology is a responsibility.

I'm borrowing this from a conversation I had with a psychologist about art and artists. Some gifts can hurt, so-to-speak.

LMFAO (appiness) I do pronounce my "h"

So very true, i did let myself down big time, but i guess forgiving ones self is hard when ur surrounded by people always judging ur every action and questioning ur every move, i need to forgive and trust my own self b4 i can expect this from others, I know i seek to help and generaly be there 100% for others, because this is something i want in return. My own mother ignores me for months, everyone says i should pick up the phone and call, i always end up making the call, until she does it again in another 6 months. Not even a call at thanksgiving this year, all because i refused to eat diner with the ex wife of the man that molested her. Having grown up with a overly protective mother that would always bring up the past and use my past actions against me did not exactly teach me how to properly forgive and forget, but i try hard to not repeat her actions. I just go quiet and think about what's being said and why.

 

[eye exaggerate]

LMFAO (appiness) I do pronounce my "h"

So very true, i did let myself down big time, but i guess forgiving ones self is hard when ur surrounded by people always judging ur every action and questioning ur every move, i need to forgive and trust my own self b4 i can expect this from others, I know i seek to help and generaly be there 100% for others, because this is something i want in return. My own mother ignores me for months, everyone says i should pick up the phone and call, i always end up making the call, until she does it again in another 6 months. Not even a call at thanksgiving this year, all because i refused to eat diner with the ex wife of the man that molested her. Having grown up with a overly protective mother that would always bring up the past and use my past actions against me did not exactly teach me how to properly forgive and forget, but i try hard to not repeat her actions. I just go quiet and think about what's being said and why.

...I like the fire you speak with. It's very honest. I mean, I'm sure your world opens up to something much more profound than what can be said on a forum. But yeah

I guess what I 'see' from your post is a long line of folks who haven't forgiven themselves. It's cool to see that you're the dime it stops on. Good for you. Fckn sucks though, hey?

edit: "people who haven't forgiven themselves - people who have forgotten themselves"

 

[The Midnight Gardener]

If you stepped on my toe, we are cool. If you committed some type of rape, theft, murder or other mayhem against me or my family then fuck the apology, your ass is mine.

 

[april]

...I like the fire you speak with. It's very honest. I mean, I'm sure your world opens up to something much more profound than what can be said on a forum. But yeah

I guess what I 'see' from your post is a long line of folks who haven't forgiven themselves. It's cool to see that you're the dime it stops on. Good for you. Fckn sucks though, hey?

Oh yes, having an adopted mother( who knows and hates her blood mother for ignoring her and my brother and I lol ya ) father that passed when i was 9, gay brother and so so much more makes for an interesting family See why i moved to the country and surround myself with plants and animals hahahahaha

I did see psychologists twice, once after my father passed and a about 3 yrs ago b4 i lost my job of 7 yrs, both said i don't need it, what i need is yoga or meditation to learn to listen to myself, as per them i'm great at disecting my feelings and emotions and figuring out why i feel a way and what causes it, i did suffer from panick attacks but also learned to control myself when it happens.

Ya it's bong time

 

[eye exaggerate]

Oh yes, having an adopted mother( who knows and hates her blood mother for ignoring her and my brother and I lol ya ) father that passed when i was 9, gay brother and so so much more makes for an interesting family See why i moved to the country and surround myself with plants and animals hahahahaha

I did see psychologists twice, once after my father passed and a about 3 yrs ago b4 i lost my job of 7 yrs, both said i don't need it, what i need is yoga or meditation to learn to listen to myself, as per them i'm great at disecting my feelings and emotions and figuring out why i feel a way and what causes it, i did suffer from panick attacks but also learned to control myself when it happens.

Ya it's bong time

...quieting the self is good. (almost typo'd 'god' ) whoooa.

Good for you for moving to the country, that's a meditation practice in itself! Looks like the earthen aspect of your life is in good order... are there 3 more aspects to look at? (4 more really - but only later... if that seems cryptic, well, that's 'cause it fckn is!)

 

[april]

...quieting the self is good. (almost typo'd 'god' ) whoooa.

Good for you for moving to the country, that's a meditation practice in itself! Looks like the earthen aspect of your life is in good order... are there 3 more aspects to look at? (4 more really - but only later... if that seems cryptic, well, that's 'cause it fckn is!)

well my mother did marry, I smashed my first car, grandfather died the very moment i had the accident ( i was driving hom from the hospital) and i found out my BF had cheated multiple times And i keep smilling hahahaha

Life is cryptic

 

[cannabutt]

It totally depends on the circumstances.

Examples: If someone doesn't know I am behind them and they spin around and I catch an elbow in the eye and end up with a black eye and they apologize, everything is Kool and the Gang. It is like it never happened. In fact, it being an accident I would not even need an apology for everything to be Kool and the Gang.

If a girlfriend, fiance or wife doesn't come home some night because she fucks some guy and then later apologizes, she had better be able to move in with whoever fucked her or have someplace else lined up because she would be out of my life for good.

An apology, sincere or not, can only make up for so much, it can only sausage so much pain and suffering. There is a point where once beyond it no apology can ever be enough to make things right.

I accept your apology. cannabutt