my life is fucked up

[LuckyReturner]

really dont have any problems with marijuana never been addicted to it but baseically
lately ive been taking anything to get fucked up, for the last week ive just been riping apart my house stealing pills from anybudy i can. i last night i took a whole bottle of sleeping pill just to get fucked up, i took 15 gabapentin like like two hours ago, 300mg/pill. i love valium, ambian, anything i can take thats just gonna fuck me up, its like everytime i challenge my self to get more fucked up, every day i have to find something to get fucked up on. weed doesent cut it, weed dont fuck me up anymore, its fun to smoke but its not enough, anybudy get me? its got to be pills and alcohol with weed on the side. literally i will walk into open garages to steal shit i can pawn off. I was charged with 5 counts of residental burglery as minor and now that im an adult i will really be fucked if im caught stealing. idk man to put it simple i always need to be fucked up, if im broke i got to get money somehow, everything i won has been sold or pawned off for alcohol/weed/pills. im on probation for five years, (max i could get as a minor) Now that im 18 im truly fucked if i even fail a drug test, man i dont know should i do something like check myself into rehab? ive been to rehab before and the hardest part having the option to at anytime sign myself out and go home because now im an adult. idk man its just now im so worried about going to prison for something stupid like stealing a bike, the only reason i can say this now is because im fucked up, and when i come down ill be back to were i was, atm i have the confidence to stop stealing and get clean but deep down i know its not going to happen, ill wake up tomorrow and the first thing ill think of is how am i going to get money, its scary, the risks i take for something so stupid, risking years of my life just to get high? i mean wtf am i doing, and i cant stop. Im sure u guys know when ur fucked up u can talk like this man but nothing is going to change man. im gonna need something tomorrow, and i know im eventually gonna get cought. all i dream about is nightmares about being in prison or getting fucked up in some way. idk man somebudy here ever experience this shit?

 

[Beansly]

What kind of pills do you take man? Opiates?
A lot of people hate on the methadone program as trading one addiction for another but man, the methadone program got me clean and off the street doing dumb shit like you're doing. Shit saved my life. Plus it's lot cheaper than getting you shit on the street. Like $50 for a weeks worth of strong drugs. Only thing is you have to go there everyday and get you dose and you can't be on anything else without a doctor's prescription.
I'm not telling you this just so you can work the the system and get cheap drugs, but also cause it'll stop all the bullshit you have to do to get money. Methadone lasts all day.
Once you get your life under control and your in a program, then you can start working on getting completely clean and getting your head right.
I'm sorry but the only thing that's gonna help you is jail, rehab, or to stop doing drugs all together. It sounds like you're trying to escape from something painful. Maybe your emotions or bad memories or something. You have to deal with that sober, cause as long as you're high you're not dealing with it.
Things can change if you want them to. I used to be like you 10 years ago and now my life isn't perfect, but I'm a normal happy person that doesn't lie and doesn't steal to survive.

 

[Urca]

do what beansly said. seriously, you need to save your life, no one will save it for you.
my mom was an addict, could neer get clean, never had a reason to until my dad took us away from her.
we were her reason for getting clean.

you need your own reason, you gotta do it for you. you already know what kind of life your living, and its a half life full of misery and waiting for the bottom to fall out. I suggest some kind of rehab and 12 step system, it helped my mom and stepdad get clean, plus they met there and have been together for 14 years.

you can make this work.
good luck

 

[rowlman]

Sounds like a lfe going to be spent in prison to me. I've seen and known you many times, and that's where you always end up, that or dead. Cousins,friends,friends of friends, and co-workers....it's ganna be a bad ending for you if ya don't get help now.
...And quit stealing shit...I would shoot a person in my garage at 3am, no question about it.
Best of luck to ya.

 

[......]

I dont know about where your at but around here theres doctors that will prescribe you k pins and suboxone.Tell them you have a dope problem.

They only take cash so get like 1-200 up and make an appointment.
People will buy the suboxones for 10 a piece all day off you and you can just take the k pins to get fucked up.They wont last long but it's something.

 

[......]

and are you phisically addicted to benzos?
If you are dont go cold turkey on them cause you can get really fucked up from the withdraws

 

[rowlman]

I dont know about where your at but around here theres doctors that will prescribe you k pins and suboxone.Tell them you have a dope problem.

They only take cash so get like 1-200 up and make an appointment.
People will buy the suboxones for 10 a piece all day off you and you can just take the k pins to get fucked up.They wont last long but it's something.

My cousin takes something like that...he had a problem with heroin and opiates, he takes something that won't allow the opiates to work...you would have to stop taking the meds for like 3 days to get high again ...idk...but by then, most people will change thier mind and start taking it ( meds ) again. It's probable what dots said, but I'm sure of the name.
If it works for him, I gatta believe it will work for almost anyone...he's about the only one I know from my other post that made it without living in prison or dead.
He has his MMJ card,...not sure where you are, but that helps him alot too.

 

[Samwell Seed Well]

i got 2 words of advise for you , you should not need to write them down ok here we go

Stop it

knock it off, i too have not only been you but know you and jail, death or disability is your only options for a future if you continue to abuse

good luck, reality is not that bad and MJ gets better every Cross


and i should add recreational use is possible but negative repetitive behaviors must stop, use your fondness for an altered state as a reward system and no your limits

there is a big difference in a functioning user and a junkie

 

[rowlman]

I thought this thread was ganna be about someone losing their job or house....major bills before chistmas,shut-off notices,cars fucked up or sick kids....but nope....it's dope.



....do you wanna here some REAL fucked up life stories?

 

[......]

i got 2 words of advise for you , you should not need to write them down ok here we go

Stop it

knock it off, i too have not only been you but know you and jail, death or disability is your only options for a future if you continue to abuse

good luck, reality is not that bad and MJ gets better every Cross

Thats something I noticed a lot of people dont think of when fucking with benzos.If you OD you can end up with half of your fucking body paralyzed and have to piss out a cathatar.

My cousin takes something like that...he had a problem with heroin and opiates, he takes something that won't allow the opiates to work...you would have to stop taking the meds for like 3 days to get high again ...idk...but by then, most people will change thier mind and start taking it ( meds ) again. It's probable what dots said, but I'm sure of the name.
If it works for him, I gatta believe it will work for almost anyone...he's about the only one I know from my other post that made it without living in prison or dead.
He has his MMJ card,...not sure where you are, but that helps him alot too.

Yea the suboxone will keep them from getting high off opiates for a little bit.No withdraws to.
But thats why people are so hesitant to take it cause they know they'll eventually get money and will want to get high but cant from the subs.

Also if you dont got a opiate tolerance dont fucking take them just sell em cause you'll puke all day,night and probably a little the next day to lol.

 

[bud nugbong]

if i was in your shoes i would just OD and get it over with. no offense but ive seen alot of people like you and i hate them all. especially if you have to steal from other people to get by. get off your ass and get a job and support yourself....sounds like you have a very addictive personality and you need to cut out all the bullshit or like i said just get it over with and stop bieng a leach.

*at least you realize its a problem and thats your first step...good luck

 

[rowlman]

if i was in your shoes i would just OD and get it over with. no offense but ive seen alot of people like you and i hate them all. especially if you have to steal from other people to get by. get off your ass and get a job and support yourself....sounds like you have a very addictive personality and you need to cut out all the bullshit or like i said just get it over with and stop bieng a leach.

*at least you realize its a problem and thats your first step...good luck

...or try the drug we were talking about...^^...this seems a little extreme, I'm not disagreeing with him, but I think you can still save yourself.

 

[Logges]

find something that moves you
it seems you are a piece of shit that doesn't even care about himself
go volunteer to help people in worst conditions than you, and you'll want to change

 

[boneheadbob]

The overwhelming desire to get messed up is normal in those of us who have addiction problems. Some people are strong willed enough to stop drinking and drugging alltogether with help or even by themselves. Most of us need a LOT of help or as in my case, hit bottom and ask Jesus for help.

Sounds like you have really screwed yourself because you are a low life drug addict who is also a lowlife thief who will take anything from anyone who works hard to provide for themselves and their families. You do all this and have probaly never worked an honest day in your life.

I pray that a small spark of humanity inside of you is lit and grows. Maybe you can read the bible and pray that God reveals himself to you before you die or go to prison

really dont have any problems with marijuana never been addicted to it but baseically
lately ive been taking anything to get fucked up, for the last week ive just been riping apart my house stealing pills from anybudy i can. i last night i took a whole bottle of sleeping pill just to get fucked up, i took 15 gabapentin like like two hours ago, 300mg/pill. i love valium, ambian, anything i can take thats just gonna fuck me up, its like everytime i challenge my self to get more fucked up, every day i have to find something to get fucked up on. weed doesent cut it, weed dont fuck me up anymore, its fun to smoke but its not enough, anybudy get me? its got to be pills and alcohol with weed on the side. literally i will walk into open garages to steal shit i can pawn off. I was charged with 5 counts of residental burglery as minor and now that im an adult i will really be fucked if im caught stealing. idk man to put it simple i always need to be fucked up, if im broke i got to get money somehow, everything i won has been sold or pawned off for alcohol/weed/pills. im on probation for five years, (max i could get as a minor) Now that im 18 im truly fucked if i even fail a drug test, man i dont know should i do something like check myself into rehab? ive been to rehab before and the hardest part having the option to at anytime sign myself out and go home because now im an adult. idk man its just now im so worried about going to prison for something stupid like stealing a bike, the only reason i can say this now is because im fucked up, and when i come down ill be back to were i was, atm i have the confidence to stop stealing and get clean but deep down i know its not going to happen, ill wake up tomorrow and the first thing ill think of is how am i going to get money, its scary, the risks i take for something so stupid, risking years of my life just to get high? i mean wtf am i doing, and i cant stop. Im sure u guys know when ur fucked up u can talk like this man but nothing is going to change man. im gonna need something tomorrow, and i know im eventually gonna get cought. all i dream about is nightmares about being in prison or getting fucked up in some way. idk man somebudy here ever experience this shit?

 

[buddha webb]

Do not go into the drug rehab line of work...possible republican candidate?I understand your lack of understanding on this issue,but surely you cant hate if you dont know the circumstances between each addicts story,if indeed you do hate All of them,then your emotionally retarded..True.trust me im a doctor.

if i was in your shoes i would just OD and get it over with. no offense but ive seen alot of people like you and i hate them all. especially if you have to steal from other people to get by. get off your ass and get a job and support yourself....sounds like you have a very addictive personality and you need to cut out all the bullshit or like i said just get it over with and stop bieng a leach.

*at least you realize its a problem and thats your first step...good luck

 

[Beansly]

I thought this thread was ganna be about someone losing their job or house....major bills before chistmas,shut-off notices,cars fucked up or sick kids....but nope....it's dope.



....do you wanna here some REAL fucked up life stories?

And get used to that^
NOBODY feels sorry for an addict. You're gonna have to toughen up a little, learn to laugh at yourself, and quit feeling sorry for yourself. I say that as someone who truly hope you get better.

 

[2fast92]

I went back to school. That worked for me. Well, and I ran out of money too.

Edit: I wasn't addicted to any one thing. Like the OP is was just addicted to getting high off anything and everything I could. There were still limits though, no needles, no mainlining, and no shit like paint thinner or bath salts.

 

[medicalmaryjane]

sounds to me like you're young and bored. you need to find something you're passionate about and do it. start cooking, gardening or something. you know, this site is full of pot growers and we actually enjoy the art of growing, it's something i've become passionate about and i look forward to each day. you should try it.

 

[NLXSK1]

Figure out why you need to be fucked up and address that issue. If you dont face those demons you are going to be like this the rest of your life.

 

[The Midnight Gardener]

When you're in a place like you are now it never ends well. Death or prison is in your future unless you quit the bullshit. Get into rehab asap. Good luck.