You know someone is a NEWB smoker when . . .

[OneHit2Much]

You know someone is a newbie smoker when

-they go to hit the pipe and dont hold the carb
-they get high and then freak out about every cop they see
-they try to take too big a hit, cough while their hitting it, then blow the weed out

 

[april]

I had a novelty frosty cup, i transformed into a stealthy bong for the holidays, well some arrogant jerk decided to mock a few people who were coughing after a rather big hit. So i packed a fresh tight bowl, passed it to him and said "fine big man show everyone how it's done" dump ass wrapped his lips around the straw and sucked up a nice mouthful lmfao, oh karma is a nasty chunky bitch sometimes.

Merry CHRISTMAS everyone

 

[CR500ROOST]

Or when they deep throught the pipe or bong.This one Guy told me he loves swallowing the smoke LOL.

 

[Nusky]

when I first started toking, everything would black out for a split second like a strobe light, it was really awesome. Wish I could get that high again, although who knows, I was a newb then and tricking someone into smoking something else besides weed is pretty easy to do if you're packing the bowl

 

[april]

when I first started toking, everything would black out for a split second like a strobe light, it was really awesome. Wish I could get that high again, although who knows, I was a newb then and tricking someone into smoking something else besides weed is pretty easy to do if you're packing the bowl

Muffin i think u were holding it in until u almost blacked out lmfao, i know i watch newbies smoke sometimes and they hold that hit in until they turn purple lol, and are always like wow im high, no ur oxygen deprived and getting a head rush lol

 

[bigbillyrocka]

I like wen there's someone trying to hog the pipe and choke out on some flecks that hit them on the back of their throat. "oops, I think you've had a little too much"

 

[Jimmyjonestoo]

When they tell you they have some killer and pull out a bag of mulch with seeds.

 

[Urca]

to me, and ive done it before, is when you hit it and let it go in the same breath. my brother had to clamp a hand over my nose and mouth for me to understand what to do

 

[Total Head]

when they don't inhale. if you don't want to smoke, then don't smoke. don't just pretend to smoke and waste everyone's shit.

or when they squint when they take a hit. wtf is that about? it's not going to beat you up.

 

[wheels619]

when I first started toking, everything would black out for a split second like a strobe light, it was really awesome. Wish I could get that high again, although who knows, I was a newb then and tricking someone into smoking something else besides weed is pretty easy to do if you're packing the bowl

hells yeah like being in an old movie. lmao. absolutrly awesome. ive only been that high once. lmao. then i puked. hahaha. but irt was fucking awesome none the less. oh and when the newbs get so high off of a few good bowls then ralf everywhere. any toilet huggers in here? lol.

 

[guy incognito]

I have a friend that has been smoking for 6+ years (since I met her) and she still doesn't understand how a carb works. Every time we smoke out of my bong she take way too huge of a hit to the point the smoke gets disgustingly thick and gross, and then just passes it. And every single time I say "You know you are supposed to pull the bowl off to let fresh air in and take the whole hit? Otherwise you just leave the entire bong full and it's so thick no one else can hit it"

Or she hits my pipe and never releases the thumb carb and passes it full of smoke. I have been over it with her a million times. It's not that hard of a concept. In fact I would say you can be totally retarded and actually not understand the concept or the physics behind it, yet still do it because you've been instructed to a million times, yet she doesn't do it. I don't understand it and it frustrates me.

 

[Urca]

well passing a pipe full of smoke isnt really a bad thing, because when we do it its still lit, so the next person gets a nice hit, but i can understand the frustration. Ive had people not even use the carb and wonder why they werent really feeling it like a blunt and saying blunts are better

 

[guy incognito]

It gets disgusting though. If you just keep ripping that bong and never let it go out the cherry gets way too hot and the smoke gets extremely harsh. Plus who says i've even exhaled since I passed it? No, she needs to learn how to do stand alone bong rips.

 

[Urca]

It gets disgusting though. If you just keep ripping that bong and never let it go out the cherry gets way too hot and the smoke gets extremely harsh. Plus who says i've even exhaled since I passed it? No, she needs to learn how to do stand alone bong rips.

i agree, cause i know i feel really accomplished when i take a huge hit off the bong. though ive never lit it or pulled it myself, not because i cant, but because my brother is extremely protective of his roor.

 

[Luger187]

i dont like when they dont twist the bowl when they pull it out and the diffuser comes out with it. its like that moment where the record stops and everyone holds their breath

 

[AltarNation]

Haha, great responses.

I'll add a couple:

My step-dad is really guilty of the bong faux-pau of taking a big rip and then not clearing it... but I feel bad for the old guy, he doesn't ever hit bongs and really doesn't have the lung resistance for it I guess. The funny thing is the guy smokes cigarettes like a chimney... it's just different with bongs and weed in general, as you really try to inhale it fully while with cigs I guess not so much...

And my girlfriend, god... the first time we let her hit a bong, I swear I was blushing, because she tried to put her mouth AROUND the bong instead of inside it, Hahahahaha.

--and she's got a relatively small mouth, so it was a sight to see as she grappled that thang.

 

[guy incognito]

Haha, great responses.

I'll add a couple:

My step-dad is really guilty of the bong faux-pau of taking a big rip and then not clearing it... but I feel bad for the old guy, he doesn't ever hit bongs and really doesn't have the lung resistance for it I guess. The funny thing is the guy smokes cigarettes like a chimney... it's just different with bongs and weed in general, as you really try to inhale it fully while with cigs I guess not so much...

And my girlfriend, god... the first time we let her hit a bong, I swear I was blushing, because she tried to put her mouth AROUND the bong instead of inside it, Hahahahaha.

shes a keeper.

 

[CEEJR]

When they burn their finger lighting a bowl.

 

[Chem Dawg]

Had a buddy that hacked so hard he drooled snot out his nose and saliva out his mouth.. We called it a double decker!!

 

[AltarNation]

Hahaha... guy, right on...


Some I've been guilty of myself in the past include:

a) not having a fucking clue how to hit a bong with a carb'd pre-chamber... I understood carbs, and I understood slides, but trying to both at once pretty much blew my mind the first time. (Also, no one really explained that there was a carb on the thing)

b) Drinking too much hard liquor and then smokin' weed, mega spins until I had to put my head on the floor for most of the night.

And THAT night, ladies and gentleman, reminds me of one of my all-time favorite NOFX hits:

[video=youtube;6axOY4PBusk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6axOY4PBusk[/video]

My closest friend, Linoleum.
Linoleum!
Supports my head.
Gives me somethin' to believe.