Holy shit, even my room doesn't look like that. Wow.
Well, therianthrope in the modern context. The word was apparently adopted by some users on a werewolf fan site who came out and asked if anyone else felt they didn't just like wolves, but literally felt like a wolf. By the way, I don't take anyone seriously who literally refers to themselves as a werewolf, implying they think they are some magical creatures who can actually transform, or they are 'cool' like something out of Blood and Chocolate.
Ask my therapist, ask my grandma. During childhood I was beyond animal make-believe. They had me tested fro just about everything because I wasn't responding to stimuli in a 'normal' way. After learning how to behave 'properly' I had a severe depressive phase where I'd frequently lash out from pent up frustration. Little things like not barking in alarm, whining and yipping when in pain/surprised, not wanting to rub/roll all over people, not howling in public, not wandering off into nature, chewing things I shouldn't, suppressing feelings that I needed to have a litter etc. All the self denial gets to after a while. It's difficult enough not acting socially inappropriately with an ASD, but on top of that I constantly keep my wolf side in check. As I've otten older, I've found it easier to cope and find a balance. My family and friends are now (mostly...) totally used to the idea that my knee-jerk reactions may be a little unusual. Friends know I whine/growl in my sleep or may spontaneously tackle them and want to nuzzle them. Of course I usually only allow myself this with people close to me, or who are open. I've always been know as the 'dog girl' or 'wolf girl' in school, even though the human 'side' of me really likes horses and I tried pretending to be a cat when I was younger as some sort of diversion.
I'm a familiar presence on therianthropy forums and former staff on TherianWilderness. I got rid of some of the fluff ('Hey, look at me, I'm a shiny purple dragon and was an omnipotent magical overlord in five of my past lives!!!') People seemed to think that because it is a site that acceptsthe fact you believe yourself to somehow be an animal in your brain, you must believe everything. I was thiiiiiis close to being banned because I 'called bullshit' for want of a better phrase on members who would say they like the full moon, therefore they are a wolf, then say they think they are some freaking angelkin because of a twinge on their back the next.
It's harder being a wolf therianthrope because wolves are so often glamorized/romanticized. Ever member on a therianthropy board rushes in saying IM A BOSS ALPHA WOLF RAWR and then comes the expected 'Whoops, i'm a chinchilla' thread. I don't see the wolf as a separate entity like modern interpretation of a 'daemon' or 'spirit guide' influencing me. It is me. 'Me' has had to learn to balance. After all, I like processed food and video games as much as the rest of you and can't go around walking on all fours.
Back to cosplay <3
Couples' Cosplay :3 (
http://eyes-0n-me.deviantart.com)
Admittedly, a kotatsu would be nice in this weather.
that whole movie .... NERDGAZIM!!
