Like back in Alaska.
Odd places to live when you hold a globe in your hand and actually look at where these places are.
Who decided they were such swell places to settle in, and how bad was it where they came from to make it seem like a panacea?
Like the friggin' turnip!
Who first yanked one out of the dirt, or picked one off the ground and tasted it and somehow enjoyed it enough to figure out how to eat it?
(my condolences to all turnip lovers out there: I meant no disrespect to your revered, yet revolting, comestible).
I bet it was done on a dare.
Went something like:
Hey, Gronk, check out this funky cone-like root-thing hanging off this plant!
Some reindeer was scrubbing the tundra with it's ungulated hooves looking for lichen and it accidentally dug this thing up.
It took a bite of it and threw up ALL over the place!
It was freakin' EPIC!
Like that time on "The Clan Guy" when Peterock, Stewrock, Chris Rock and Brrrrian the wolf drank that Ipecac to see who'd get the last piece of stegasaurusberry pie after dinner and they couldn't stop projectile vomiting for like 3 solid notches on the sundial!?
Yeah.
It was like that.
Look at it! it's pale white & a funky purple, and scaly and hard as a rock, and smells kind of rotten.
Taste it!
Gronk no like!
Smell BAD!
Oh, poor baby... what's the matter, is wittle Gwonky too much of a fancy-mouth to try something new?
Too much of a sabertooth cub: eyes still closed and unable to walk yet, wet nursing mama's teats for all they're worth?
Come on!
Try it out!
Okay. Give to Gronk. Me try it....
*nibble, nibble*
...Mmmmm!
Not shabby!
Gronk think it has potential!
What you call it?
It looks like a "Turnip" to me. What do you think?
Tur.
Nip.
Tur-nip.
Turnip.
Turnip!
Gronk like it!
Tur-nip!
Tur-nip!
Tur-nip!
Turnip!
...