BIGGEST THREAD in RIU History

A young but mature male elephant has just fought and won the right to lead his own pride, which as you know, comes with the side benefit of mating with all the females. So being all bad ass and such he strolls down to the river to have a drink.

On his way down he steps on a big thorn that he can't get out of his foot and it hurts like hell. Being all bad ass, he can't go back and ask one of his new females to help, so he sits down next to the river. After a few minutes a mouse walks by. Being all bilengual and shit , the elephant asks the mouse if he will please take out the thorn, aware the females will never find out. The mouse says "sure I'll take out the thorn, but in return you have to let me fuck you up the ass."

Knowing the mouse can't tell on him and couldn't possibly do much damage with his little mouse dick, the elephant says "sure you get the splinter out and I'll let you fuck me". So, the mouse easily plucks out the thorn from the elephants foot and imediatley says "Bend over and get ready for the beef". Well the elephant, being a man of his word, bends over knowing it can't be that bad.

The mouse then jumps up on the elephants back and drives his little pecker as deep as he can in the elephants ass. Just then a monkey, who in sitting up in a nearby tree, notices the two doing the deed and throws a coconut which hits the elephants in the head. The elephants shreaks "Ouch God Dam" and the mouse then says confidently "Take It All Bitch, Take it All"!
 
I love fishing! Stripers and big ass catfish are my favorite. Big bass on live bait are fun too. Fuck all that artificial shit.
 
korvette1977 said:
Fla. teen arrested over video posing his senile grandma as gangster


April 23, 2008
LAKE WORTH, Fla. (AP) _ A Florida teenager faces a charge of elder abuse alleging he made his senile grandmother wear a black mask and hold a handgun for a video he made.
Police in Lake Worth, Fla., say the 85-year-old woman is seen and heard on the video threatening to shoot "all the pigs."
Authorities say 18-year-old Michael Alfinez was arrested Monday and charged with abusing an elderly person, discharging a firearm in public and improper exhibition of a dangerous weapon.
Palm Beach County sheriff's detectives seized the video during a traffic stop in January.
The teen's mother says it's all just a misunderstanding.
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ok like what the FUCK? who wants to pose grandma as a cap bustin thug?
discharging a firearm in public? did he shoot around his grandma too?
improper exhibition of a dangerous weapon wouldn't that be something like this....
chimp_gun.jpg
...?
 
Random joke:
The CIA had hundreds of men training to try to become a CIA agent. In the end there were only 3 men, and they could only take 1 so they thought of a final test. The first guy walks into a room with 5 agents sitting at a table. He goes up to them and they say "for your final test, you must take this gun (points to the table) and kill your wife who is in the other room. That will show your loyalty" The guy just instantly says "no way man, thats my wife and I love her." They nod and tell him that he doesnt have the job. The next guy walks in, same situation same question, he thinks, grabs the gun and goes into the other room. 5 minutes later he comes out crying saying that he couldnt do it. The agents say they understand but we need loyalty and he doesnt have the job. The last guy walks into the room, same question. He grabs the gun, walks to the other room, at first its silent, then about 5 minutes later they hear things breaking, stuff being thrown into the walls, and alot of other loud noises. After about 10 minutes of this, the guy comes out and all the agents are all curious and ask what was all the noise. The guy puts the gun on the table and says "This thing only had blanks in it so I had to beat her to death."
 
korvette1977 said:
Fuck this ,,, I'm growing me some PRIME RIB.....


Growing meat without growing animals. - By William Saletan - Slate Magazine
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i hear ya...."Purists see it as a moral surrender. "It's our job to introduce the philosophy and hammer it home that animals are not ours to eat," a dissident PETA official tells the Times. Purists also point out that carnivores suffer more obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and other diseases. Getting your meat from stem cells might not change that."

this is disturbing kinda in thought tho( unless you need an arm i guess)
  • Rearming America
    The military's plan to regrow body parts.
    William Saletan
    posted April 18, 2008
 
korvette1977 said:
I aint chipping in for gas on that thing ,,,HELL no ... :mrgreen:
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cheap bastard!!!! it runs off of hydrogen.... it uses the alternator to electrolyze the water and produces the hydrogen to put through the fuel cells to power the motor...

candidly, you wont have to pay for anything as long as i can harvest the water free in that lake/pond :mrgreen:

a man can dream cant he?
 
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