Your discription doesn't sound like spider mite. I've had them two times and they are a mother fucker on nerves.
I guarantee you that you can not feel them on your finger. The are so small, you can barely see them when newborn
Look for any strands of webbing.
Look under the leaves for small spots (mites) and an off colored white area (thats the eggs)
I spent 7 months getting rid of them this last time. I used damn near everything but Neam Oil.
Neam Oil does work, but too strong of a dose will burn the leaves.
I paid a fortune for Liquid Lady Bug. It kills the adults, but not the eggs so they keep coming back.
Finally I bought "No Spider Mites" That stuff is also very expensive, but it killed the bastards and their
eggs in two sprays - 3 days apart. It did a little damage to the leaves, but the plants were stressed out
from all the other shit I tried.
Good luck - persistance and addressing the issue of mites quickly makes a big difference.