Clincial Depression vs everyday depression

[cannabineer]

Cannabineer I assume that you are on reputable inhibitors for clinical depression, you may benefit from steaming or hot tubs to remove high ph sweat (basic) and replace it with apple juice or water to balance PH in the brain.

Balance PH to improve electro conductivity in the brain. Your ph won't be off by much, a fraction of a percentage point will help or harm you.

The opposite of my problem with bipolar disorder.

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Dancing or fluid movements like Tai Chi will release endorphins to improve mood.

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I am on no antidepessants at all at this time. i took the whole PDR over the course of ten years, and have a permanent tremor as a reminder.

As for Tai Chi etc., I am doing my damndest to stay somewhat active, but the anhedonia does not lift. It just keeps lowering, like a fell and eldritch fog. cn

 

[xKuroiTaimax]

Am I right in thinking that very often a person is a depressive Type, and will always harbor those tendencies?

Even if I am not having an episode and seemingly perfectly happy, something very small can trigger me and I spiral back into one because of of thought processes and beliefs about myself I know to be completely illogical. The paranoia, desire to self harm and hatred of myself can just suddenly go full-blown from nothing, or out of a very happy or even manic period. This hasn't happened so much since I started smoking pot (I'm more often able to reason/talk myself out of an pisode or panic attack like a third party, but not always)

(This is not a scientific view..) Also I think a factor in clinical depression is it can happen for no reason lie that. Yes someone might have had traumatic experiences in the past but their depressed state is still all-consuming and illogical inrelation to what's going on around them, although you can be CD in good or bad circumstances, or have come from a perfect familial/social background and still be CD. It's not just a case of something bad happening or upsetting you and you get a little down over it, therefore you have depression. I think it's a whole state of being, a mentality, something that lingers in the back of your head affecting everything you say and do. There is 'a certain way' depressed people put things together that someone on the outside thinks is totally fucked up, or you know yourself that the way you think makes no real sense and benefits no one... but you can't help but think that way... And sometimes you can't help falling apart..

 

[Hobbes]

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Golden Budda you are correct, I mean the bananas to be a supplement to whatever meds you manage, not a replacement.

Some people, like yourself, may be beyond the scope of current medicine and may be only able to endure until something better comes along.

I do not mean to belittle your condition and I apologize.

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I see many people who are on the edge of being normal who could benefit from simple lifestyle changes that I suggest.

I also see many very sick people who are again and again put on the wrong type of medication for their type of illness, like myself. Too many doctors see Reuptaks as a cure all for depression of many causes, I have been caught in this trap for 25 years.

There is no understanding of the underlying cause of depression among psychiatrists. I can talk to pharmacists who can explain to me how the drugs work, how they interact, but not a single doctor.

I designed my hypothesis and fought with two psychiatrists about what drugs that I should be on and finally feel somewhat stable. In the past I always had a Reuptaks inhibitor in the mix and was always bumped back into mania, followed by the inevitable crash back into depression.

I add in dance, steams and fluid replacement and I have at least short term stability.

Maybe this won't work for you, your problems could be beyond the reach of current medical science, but maybe one other person on the forum will see themselves in my writing and this will all have been worthwhile to me.

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[Hobbes]

Am I right in thinking that very often a person is a depressive Type, and will always harbor those tendencies?

There are different types of depression xKuroiTaimax (that's one hell of a name!)

Some people just always seem depressed and sometimes worse, with no trigger. Others, like myself, have a manic episode followed by depression. Others go into depression after experiencing stress, like an abused wife.

Each type of person has a different type of depression so we should look for a different cause.

Trial and error knowledge among doctors says not to put bipolar depressives on Reuptaks inhibitors, though that does not seem to be common knowledge to most psychiatrists. Reuptakes can cause mania in bipolars, which eventually crashes into another depression.

My model looks for a common reason for all of this to happen, but it is only a hypothesis as there is nothing researched on the net on the subject.

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[xKuroiTaimax]

Hmm... My depression has inconsistant patterns and none of my psychiatrists, therapists or clinical psychologist etc have been quite able to put their finger on a specific type of depression or what they should ultimately 'put it down to'. Alot of factors are involved and I wonder if it's possible for earlier episodes to be down to something entirely different going on in one's head than later ones, or does one learn the patterns of a depressive from an early one-off episode when that person is usually the type that generally 'wouldn't' become depressed/a depressive? I found later reaffirmations of irrational thoughts I had during an earlier episode can trigger a new one, almost like I knew I was 'right' to feel so shit before.

On one hand some waited until after a suicide attempt or two to suggest I might need medication whilst on the other hand the school psychiatrist wanted me on pills immediately after less than an hour's consultation. I don't know too much about antidepressants compared to some (though a few college textbooks are lying around) but If I am dependent on one thing to keep me on an even keel, I am happy with weed for now, and my mother didn't want them to get slap-happy with using a pill to 'fix' everything, but I wouldn't know any different. My general stance is to shy away from pharmaceuticals, but I suppose I'd need to know a bit more about the nature of depression first.

I could never accept hat just because someone said they had depression, too, that they knew exactly how I felt and why I think the way I do. Their illness is just as 'valid' but it doesn't mean those same processes are going on internally. You can't just say 'here, try CBT and it should fix you for good' for everyone. You are right I think; everyone has a different kind of depression, brought on from such a hoge variety of different factors..

EDITE: you can just call me Kuroi, it has the same transliteration as my real name x

 

[budsmoker87]

^you're fucking hot...boggles my mind. hell, ANY time I see a girl I'm attracted to who has no self esteem it boggles my mind. makes me think of that song where the guy is like "if you could see what i see"


my flatter post of the day for u lol

 

[Hobbes]

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Lokie until I got on Halodol and Seroquil I was walking around angry all of the time, it was exhausting. People had no problem telling me that I was angry but there was little that I could do about it. Weed helped a lot but I was still angry, it took the right pharmaceutical drugs to help me shed my constant wrath and get rest.

My brother has constant mood swings that include anger and a sense of martyrdom, but none of his family will step forward to help him. They are afraid and have been made to feel guilty - "I spend all of this money on you ... All that I do is work ... There's always more money."

I've steped forward to tell him that his sons say that they don't know who is coming home that evening but they won't take a stand to help him face his mental health demon. Sometimes we must do so on our own.

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[Golden Buddha]

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Golden Budda you are correct, I mean the bananas to be a supplement to whatever meds you manage, not a replacement.

Some people, like yourself, may be beyond the scope of current medicine and may be only able to endure until something better comes along.

I do not mean to belittle your condition and I apologize.

.

I see many people who are on the edge of being normal who could benefit from simple lifestyle changes that I suggest.

I also see many very sick people who are again and again put on the wrong type of medication for their type of illness, like myself. Too many doctors see Reuptaks as a cure all for depression of many causes, I have been caught in this trap for 25 years.

There is no understanding of the underlying cause of depression among psychiatrists. I can talk to pharmacists who can explain to me how the drugs work, how they interact, but not a single doctor.

I designed my hypothesis and fought with two psychiatrists about what drugs that I should be on and finally feel somewhat stable. In the past I always had a Reuptaks inhibitor in the mix and was always bumped back into mania, followed by the inevitable crash back into depression.

I add in dance, steams and fluid replacement and I have at least short term stability.

Maybe this won't work for you, your problems could be beyond the reach of current medical science, but maybe one other person on the forum will see themselves in my writing and this will all have been worthwhile to me.

.

I didn't think you were belittling my condition, it just appeared on the surface to be more of the same empty promises I've heard most of my life. I interpreted it as ignorance rather than malice. It can be quite difficult to decipher intent from just the written word and I was merely trying to share my observation and engage you in the discussion in order to clarify your position. I do appreciate your having shared some personal details, having also been on the inside of the system I'm sure you can understand why it aroused my skeptical side, and knowing where you're coming from sheds some light on your original message.

For myself at least, the fact that I cannot properly exercise, or engage in the outdoor activities I used to enjoy so much, is one of the driving factors of my depression, not even considering the physiological benefits of exercise. It's also compounded by SAD, and this time of year is always the worst for me. That's probably part of the reason I love spending so much time under the grow room lights, lol. I suppose it's a bit of a touchy subject and I had hoped to make it clear that I knew I was rushing to judgment, if I failed in that I apologize as well.

I should also make it clear that I'm not condemning the entire mental health profession. There are many caring people who are doing good work, it just seems that the "publish or perish" mentality of modern science drives them to the fringe while the cold, greedy bastards rise to the top. I do have praise for my last shrink, who was the only one who honestly told me that because of the physical factors there was very little he could do for my psychological condition.

Fentanyl was great for killing the pain, but the narcotic zombification was also killing my soul. Cannabis doesn't restore me to normal, but it has enabled me at least to get out for walks and do some light yard work once in a while, and that does do wonders for my overall state of mind. The (N)SSRIs didn't help at all, and only aggravated my condition by applying a bunch of unpleasant side effects. I find it absolutely unconscionable that people who are suffering so deeply are still being denied a resource that can improve the quality of their lives. I may also have over-reacted to what at first seemed to be a rejection of cannabis as a "proper medication." Sometimes the behaviors I express are not the ones that I value in my heart. Again I apologize, and thank you for responding compassionately instead of with anger and hostility.

Golden Buddha

 

[cannabineer]

I didn't think you were belittling my condition, it just appeared on the surface to be more of the same empty promises I've heard most of my life. I interpreted it as ignorance rather than malice. It can be quite difficult to decipher intent from just the written word and I was merely trying to share my observation and engage you in the discussion in order to clarify your position. I do appreciate your having shared some personal details, having also been on the inside of the system I'm sure you can understand why it aroused my skeptical side, and knowing where you're coming from sheds some light on your original message.

For myself at least, the fact that I cannot properly exercise, or engage in the outdoor activities I used to enjoy so much, is one of the driving factors of my depression, not even considering the physiological benefits of exercise. It's also compounded by SAD, and this time of year is always the worst for me. That's probably part of the reason I love spending so much time under the grow room lights, lol. I suppose it's a bit of a touchy subject and I had hoped to make it clear that I knew I was rushing to judgment, if I failed in that I apologize as well.

I should also make it clear that I'm not condemning the entire mental health profession. There are many caring people who are doing good work, it just seems that the "publish or perish" mentality of modern science drives them to the fringe while the cold, greedy bastards rise to the top. I do have praise for my last shrink, who was the only one who honestly told me that because of the physical factors there was very little he could do for my psychological condition.

Fentanyl was great for killing the pain, but the narcotic zombification was also killing my soul. Cannabis doesn't restore me to normal, but it has enabled me at least to get out for walks and do some light yard work once in a while, and that does do wonders for my overall state of mind. The (N)SSRIs didn't help at all, and only aggravated my condition by applying a bunch of unpleasant side effects. I find it absolutely unconscionable that people who are suffering so deeply are still being denied a resource that can improve the quality of their lives. I may also have over-reacted to what at first seemed to be a rejection of cannabis as a "proper medication." Sometimes the behaviors I express are not the ones that I value in my heart. Again I apologize, and thank you for responding compassionately instead of with anger and hostility.

Golden Buddha

I have experienced the bolded with oxycodone. It was good for a year, and then I noticed it shutting me down one switch at a time.

I also am not here to rail at the psych/med profession, but my variant of unipolar has resisted all treatments. Nothing gave me a discernible edge, and it all left damage. I don't notice cannabis helping my depressed state, but it does it no harm (which by itself is a good, remarkable thing) and the weed does seem to have reduced my incidence of bad headaches. cn

 

[cannabineer]

I have similar experiences Hobbes.

I am fortunate that my wife is tolerant if not understanding.

As my expectations are low at this time I can not see how
this knowledge translates to a better existence.
I will take this new life wrinkle and pack it into
a "trunk of junk" and shove it into a corner of my world
only to be carried around as extra baggage that no one else gives 2 shits about.

Is knowledge always power?

I am in no way on the suicide watch, however the will to fight adversity at every turn is quickly dwindling.

I am no superman however I am comfortable to live within the
walls of my own fortress of solitude.
~big image snipped~
this is how i see my future. 1 sole standing, surrounded by the cobwebs in his mind.

The good news, lokie, is that bipolar is perhaps the most effectively treatable of the "affective disorders". They have good meds for it (notably lithium. You have to mind your plasma level, but the shit works.) so your prognosis is actually much better than you feel it to be at the moment. cn

 

[Hobbes]

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How many of us depressives have tried opiates?

Cannabineer just mentioned OxyContin and I have been on Percocet, the little brother of OxyContin. I do not know what fentynal is Golden Budda, but it sounds potent.

I started with legal pills, I got 200 percocet when I had my elbows operated on. The first pill sent me into bliss, I had never felt more beautiful, soul and mind.

Soon I was popping two Percocet to chase the same high, eventually 5 or 6 just to feel not bad.

Going off them cold turkey was hell for three days, I just lay in bed in mental pain wishing that I was dead. I only had about 350 pills in total, I cannot imagine being addicted for years.

For those depressives who've never been on opiates, they are not the answer. Try Flo, the Dope and Endless Sky.

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[Hobbes]

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Good and nasty sounding.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fentanyl

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[cannabineer]

(post removed. I worry I've offended lokie.) cn