guy incognito
Well-Known Member
At least they are good at sports, unlike many of the member of riu who are just retarded.
Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
At least they are good at sports, unlike many of the member of riu who are just retarded.
Bakatare666
Well-Known Member
Too true unfortunately.
Fungus Gnat
Well-Known Member
Bakatare666
Well-Known Member
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Two real winners right there.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
___________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
________________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
_______________________________________________________
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
________________________________________________________
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
_____________________________________________________________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________
And the WINNER is...
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
(Statement of the Century)
___________________________________________________________
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker -- Billy Connolly.
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
____________________________________________________________
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is.....
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
My pent 4 works good
PetFlora
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Boy, have I ever been there! Then I feel like I have to sterilize everything.
DST
Well-Known Member
A 2003 survey suggested that a third of US visitors to Scotland believed the haggis was an animal. Nearly a quarter thought they could catch one.
EDIT: Happy Burns night tomorrow ya pudding faces!
EDIT: Happy Burns night tomorrow ya pudding faces!
curious old fart
Well-Known Member
GOOD STUFF TO KNOW
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to the Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.
3. put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines
4. Leave a note that reads....
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman
this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part,
but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back, Cooter
cof
see4
Well-Known Member
A 2003 survey suggested that a third of US visitors to Scotland believed the haggis was an animal. Nearly a quarter thought they could catch one.
EDIT: Happy Burns night tomorrow ya pudding faces!
http://www.ibtimes.com/us-17th-global-education-ranking-finland-south-korea-claim-top-spots-901538
We aren't a bright group to say the least.
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
Flaming Pie
Well-Known Member
If I was that little girls mother, I would of gave that grown women a talking to. WTF the kid had it and she used her strength to yank it from the kids chest. Fucked up.
ANC
Well-Known Member
GOOD STUFF TO KNOW
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to the Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.
3. put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines
4. Leave a note that reads....
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman
this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part,
but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back, Cooter
cof
In South Africa, you'll come home to find your boots, plate and magazine stolen, cause the bugger can't read.
