Hey, OP. I feel you, brother. When I was in my late 20s I thought that it might be the weed smoking that was holding me back from more rapid progress in my life, so I quit several times, once for almost a year. What did I do to take the edge off? Drinking, promiscuous sex, cigarettes, etc.. The things I noticed when first stopping weed were that everything felt too real, I mean annoyingly real. I had a greater range of emotions, from depressed to elated, several times per day. I remembered many more of my dreams, they became so vivid and lasting. And I was more of an asshole, as well. I found out that it wasn't the weed holding me back,
I was holding me back and used the weed as an excuse and to numb the pain of that realization. It sounds like you may be doing the same thing; not improving in the way you should be and using the weed to numb the pain and anxiety that accompanies this process. Of course, this is simply speculation. If you find that you cannot quit/cut down and find yourself in the Chicagoland area, PM me. May as well have access to the best shit around, and it sounds like you qualify for bulk discounts