hello everyone, i apologize for being late on this thread and replying a week later but i want to tell everyone that reads this a little story about drug abue, IV and how it pertains to YOUR body and your soul.
I have been IVing drugs for a little under 5 years. it started out with heroin and oxycodone, eventually moved to fentanyl and then luckily and unluckily suboxone strips.i started Iving the strips about a year ago, and i must admit embaressingly i still do sometimes, even though all the damage it has caused me. now when i say damage to my body, i dont mean my heart and vascular system, i mean my soul and who i am as a person, and of course some physical for better or for worse.
I started IVing suboxone last year sometime after i got home from rehab and was sick of the heroin, suboxone saved my life, i would absolutley be dead without it, and my son would not have a father, this I am thankful for, there are other things I am not so grateful for.
About august of last year I woke up one morning while regularly Iving subs, and I had these weird ''floaters'' in my vision. I went to the eye dr. told him about my history of abuse, and he looked at my eye and told me I had uveitis, which is a slight eye disease, that can cause blindness and sever pain in the eye it has infected, specifiaclly the optic nerve, one of the most sensitive nerves in the human body. I did what the dr said until about oct 2012, when things werent getting better and continually getting worse i went to the city to a GREAT opthamologist to have him look at my eye and get a 2nd opinion, thank god I did this. I found out that from Iv drug abuse, most likley suboxone cause at the time thats the only thing i was IVing daily, that I had gotten either a fungal or bacterial infection in my eye, causing bleeding in my eye, destroying my retina and making me fully blind in my right eye, I had to have emergency surgery in oct to try and save my eye from actually being taken from my body, well fast forward to march of 2013 and i was pretty unsuccessful, i just had surgery last week to enucleate my right eye (remove my eye) it was very unbeleivable and crushing to me, as i have always had great eye sight and i am a decent looking male. But more importantly it sort of woke my dumb ass up, when you lose 50 percent of your vision after having 100 percent, it is a very scary thing, i worried and still worry abut blindness in my left eye, because if i lose my other eye, i will be completely blind, which is VERY VERY SCARY to me, I DO NOT want to be blind, and honestly i dont think i could live life like that and adjust, i think i would most likley commit suicide, which for someone with a 5 year old, is UNACCEPTABLE, to me anyways, Therefore in order to save the rest of my vision and continue a normal life i had to change alot of the things i do and did. it wasnt easy, but its worth it, I am thankful to be alive today, I am thankful for my 5 year old son, I am thankful I have SOME VISION left to live a rather normal life, I could be mad and bitter about it, but where will that get me? nowhere, and fast...I am thankful for everything i have in life and most importantly for the fact that i have great DRs that did great work, and as long as i folow their instructions, I will have a great prosthesis and someone who meets me for the first time will not even realize i have a fake eye. this is very encouraging to someone who has lost an eye because it isnt exactly a pretty thing. But i am thankful for everything that has happened to me and I wouldnt change ANYTHING. Bupe can save lives, it can take lives, and body parts, whether its an eye or an arm, people should be more aware about what they are putting in their bodies and how they are doing it. I know it changed how i did things, and as i said although i do sometimes still IV, it usually ONLY for maintence, and its VERY sterile, to protect the rest of me, and more importantly its not EVERY DAY, i IV maybe 4-5 times a month now, usually about once a week, and then i can get away with eating pieces the rest of the week. i think more people should know about these things. i wish anyone with an addiction, especially to opiates, the very best of luck, it really is a LIFE LONG struggle, every single day, every single hour, every single minute. if anyone ever needs help and think i could help them in any way, please message me, if it makes you feel more comfortable i would give my phone number out to anyone who emailed or messaged me with an addiction and that want help, ANYONE. i would meet up with you if i had to, nothing is to important to save someones life. nothing.
the moral of this story, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. it does matter
and if you dont know about addiction, just shut up, cause you usually sound stupid, i was once stupid like that and wondered why everyone just couldnt 'get over it'....im no longer so naive. good luck everyone, its good to be out of the god damn hospital.
