Anyone's spouse shut down your passion for cannabis?

Nickp113

Nickp113

Member
Just a little venting, I'm a 31 year old husband with a new baby. I'm a legal MMJ patient in CA. I've been passionate for cannabis for over a decade, with it growing extremely strong over the last 1-2 years. All I want to do is grow, all I think about is growing. I'm consumed by it. I finally expressed this to my wife and she shut it down without even blinking an eye. It really sucks when the person you love with all your heart won't let you pursue your dream. I have a great job, and want to grow on the side, mostly for hobby, but deep down I'd eventually love to get into the industry. Especially since it will most likely be legal here within a couple of years. Is it bad that in the back of my head I've even considered ending my marriage over this? That's how passionate for the plant I am. Anyone out there been in a similar situation?
 
Orithil

Orithil

Well-Known Member
Nope, sorry. I told my wife I wanted to grow and she was all like "Here's the credit card, get what you need.". Then again, I wouldn't end my marriage over it either, I'd more than likely attempt to discern her reasons for not wanting it, and then develop some logical counter points.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
uh...I think calling off a marriage over something that quickly is a little on the quick side, I mean you only brought it up once to her, marriage is about working together and compromising. I mean if you're gunna end your marriage that quick do you really love her ? or is there an underlining issue, of osmethign else and you want marijuana to be the quick and easy escape out?
 
FresnoFarmer

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
I would end the marriage. Period. If somebody makes such a big deal out of you gardening they can hit the road jack.
 
Nickp113

Nickp113

Member
Sorry, I guess I didn't say that we've spoken about it many times. She's paranoid and worries about the baby. She also thinks it could ruin her career if anything was to happen. Def not "quickly" jumping to ending the marriage over it.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Nickp113 said:
Sorry, I guess I didn't say that we've spoken about it many times. She's paranoid and worries about the baby. She also thinks it could ruin her career if anything was to happen. Def not "quickly" jumping to ending the marriage over it.
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well are you at least trying to see her side of the deal? it actually could potentially ruin her career, and you do have a child. See your arguments with her must not bring up valid points , you cant teach someone to read by throwing a locked book at them and saying here read it
you have to show them, so bring out the powerpoint and give her the information she needs , let her mull it over, and than have an adult conversation on the pros and cons, listen to her concerns, and let her listen to yours. I am positive people can work through their differences if each other are being open minded and a good listener.
 
Nickp113

Nickp113

Member
I totally see her side of it, I guess I just get frustrated over the fact that I've expressed how passionate I am about cannabis. Because I know that if she ever confronted me about her passion the way I confronted her, I would always support her mo matter what it was. In my eyes that's part of what marriage is. Supporting each other no matter what they want to do. I would never put her of my little guy in danger.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Nickp113 said:
I totally see her side of it, I guess I just get frustrated over the fact that I've expressed how passionate I am about cannabis. Because I know that if she ever confronted me about her passion the way I confronted her, I would always support her mo matter what it was. In my eyes that's part of what marriage is. Supporting each other no matter what they want to do. I would never put her of my little guy in danger.
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you sure you would support her in anything she would want? what if she decided to become a stripper? (and your answer as much as you wanna say yes to prove me wrong is a no and i know it;) ), i mean its like this
you're married , i mean too many people see divorce as the quick and easy way out because it has become the norm marriage is a lifelong commitment and it isnt something you can just go buy another of because this one is getting too tough . You need to buckle up and work for it, like i said if youre considering leaving so quickly there has to be an underlying issue and youre using marijuana as your scape goat.
 
Nutes and Nugs

Nutes and Nugs

Well-Known Member
It's good to listen to her and yourself.
Not the first argument nor the last.
Like Sunni said it's good to talk about.
Both sides have to give a bit for a successful marriage.

Since I started growing in the 80's, I've always had a passion for it but I had to give it a break many times in-between.
You have your card so maybe just chill a bit.
 
Nickp113

Nickp113

Member
sunni said:
you sure you would support her in anything she would want? what if she decided to become a stripper? (and your answer as much as you wanna say yes to prove me wrong is a no and i know it;) ), i mean its like this
you're married , i mean too many people see divorce as the quick and easy way out because it has become the norm marriage is a lifelong commitment and it isnt something you can just go buy another of because this one is getting too tough . You need to buckle up and work for it, like i said if youre considering leaving so quickly there has to be an underlying issue and youre using marijuana as your scape goat.
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I'd totally say no to being a stripper lol. But me gardening, and her taking her clothes off for money are two completely different things. Plus I know she'd never even consider it. And I'm not considering leaving quickly, just wanting to be with someone who will support me in anything I decide to do. We've been through a lot together, and she's the mother of my child. But to know that after being together for 5+ years, and this is the only and I mean only time I have ever really expressed my feelings on something like this worries me. I want to spend my life with someone who's down for me, and anything I want to do. You know what I mean?
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Nickp113 said:
I'd totally say no to being a stripper lol. But me gardening, and her taking her clothes off for money are two completely different things. Plus I know she'd never even consider it. And I'm not considering leaving quickly, just wanting to be with someone who will support me in anything I decide to do. We've been through a lot together, and she's the mother of my child. But to know that after being together for 5+ years, and this is the only and I mean only time I have ever really expressed my feelings on something like this worries me. I want to spend my life with someone who's down for me, and anything I want to do. You know what I mean?
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i get your point but someone supporting you is a whole different ballgame when it crossing the lines of safety and legal, and something that is taboo (hence the stripper reference). get what i mean?
 
Nutes and Nugs

Nutes and Nugs

Well-Known Member
She doesnt want you to end up in jail.
Not sure of the law there but it sounds like she is scared of a mistake, and many can happen.
If the law were different I think she would have no problem with your grow.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
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Nutes and Nugs said:
She doesnt want you to end up in jail.
Not sure of the law there but it sounds like she scared of a mistake, and many can happen.
If the law were different I think she would have no problem with your grow.
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not even just that but if it was found out it could potentially ruin your childs future education, or being scrutinized at work, like how employers will check your facebook kinda thing,
ya know like teachers get caught and fired all the time because of things the school board deems inappropriate on their facebook or twitter accounts.
Its ALOT harder to keep things quiet and on the Downlow now a days through social media, and news ect
 
Nutes and Nugs

Nutes and Nugs

Well-Known Member
sunni said:
i get your point but someone supporting you is a whole different ballgame when it crossing the lines of safety and legal, and something that is taboo (hence the stripper reference). get what i mean?
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That is a good reference.
Just something both sides see as 'vile' to the other.
 
Nickp113

Nickp113

Member
Nutes and Nugs said:
She doesnt want you to end up in jail.
Not sure of the law there but it sounds like she is scared of a mistake, and many can happen.
If the law were different I think she would have no problem with your grow.
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i live in a medical state, and have my card. Anything I'd do would be 100% within my legal limits.
 
Orithil

Orithil

Well-Known Member
I wouldn't risk a child being taken away for sure, and I'm not growing now not because of lack of permission or support, but because I'm worried about what could possibly happen to my wife's reputation and life if I were to get in trouble for it. It's not always about support the other person, sometimes it's about sacrificing for the other person. Marriage is give and take, and sometimes you have to think about what's best for the other person.

Granted, if it's something self-harming you might want to avoid it...but to me asking her to risk her career and possibly custody of your child is too much. Like you said, the polls and such are rapidly turning in favor of decriminalizing or outright legalizing, so be patient. Dreams can't always become reality over night.
 
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