yeah really sucks being out of weed , life suddenly seems shit to me , im a totally different person without herb , im angry , violent , unreasonable ,cant be arsed going to work , cant be arsed getting up for work , i see the world for how it is , real shitty .
i did nearly 3 years without weed , everyone kept saying you will only feel like this for a while then you will be fine , bullshit , every day of those 3 years i thought about weed , every day was shit , my flat went to shit my health went to shit my life went to shit , untill in the end i said fuck it , and went and scored a bag of weed , it was total bliss , i got my life back , i decorated my flat, started working out , started going to work everyday , paid my bills and got shit done ,i try not to go without these days , but sometimes i go without , and i can feel that horrible depressive state coming over me again,its harder to get reliable dealers when yo get older , you cant just hang out on street corners looking for weed when your in your 30s lol like you did when you was a teen i dont grow atm, although im passionate about growing its risky in my country, i grew for years , but the paranoia gets to me ,but i have a professional set up, all boxed up and ready to go at a moments notice , so i know when /if my contacts dry up im only a few months away from having my medicine again .i collect seeds and have some killa strains saved and ready to go .
luckily i have a few solid contacts atm that ive known since i was knee high so i have a regular supply without having to risk 'everything' growing, but i know the day will come when i will have to supply myself again .
