a boner feels like my head is pulsating immensely and the only remedy to releave it is to puke
THAT reminds me of THIS joke:
The pickle, the penis and the cucumber were all walking down the sidewalk discussing how horrible their lives were.
the cucumber says "Oh man, my life is the pits. People grow me all big and fat, then they cut me up and eat me!!"
The pickle speaks up "Dude, that's not bad. People grow me all big and fat, then they stick me in a jar of vinegar for two years, THEN cut me up and eat me!"
The penis shakes his head and says "That's nothing, man. Every night, people grow me all big and fat, then cover me in a weird rubber baggy, stick me in a dark cave and make me do pushups until i puke