i am to the point of tears right now it is a sad and joyus time for me.
I am really sick atm so i went to emerg, from they i was given you have acute bronchitis fine ive had it before when i was a child they told me to take meds from them i said i cannot , many of you know but i suffer from EXTREME anxiety disorders, its so bad , but i refuse to take pills.
therefore anything that causes me to feel out of place more so than normal or a change in the body it triggers an aggressive attack which causes physical symptons for more on colds and anxiety read here "Like many other panic sufferers, I’m always a bit nervous when I take any sort of medicine. What if it makes me hyper? What if it makes me nervous? What if it makes me uncomfortably sleepy? What if it makes me panic? We’re a physiologically sensitive bunch, and even minute changes in our body’s state can set us off. Right?"
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/panic/2012/02/cold-meds-got-you-anxious-know-your-ingredients/
I than walked 4 blocks ina blizzard to get to the only heath natural store here in town, to see if maybe they had like some herby like supplements that will make my chest and cough go away without feeling like an effect.
I told the lady at the front desk why i cant have certain meds she said hold on our nutritionist is here, who is also a pediatrician
She came up to me i explained i needed some sort of medicine for a chest cold i did not explain the anxiety part, she cut me off before i could she took 1 look at me and said
you have a thyroid problem and its causing you anxiety and i know this because of how your eyes look right now.
I said uh yeah i do suffer from anxiety, she asked if i had a thyroid test which i did last year and came back regular, she told me its because they dont properly test for it here in canada, and that i for sure 100% have it.
I believe throughout the entire conversation she tested me, as people walked in and i got more fidgety.
I told her my regular daily symptoms and I briefly mentioned how i have no sex drive and she said that is for sure thyroid
she told me to take my temperate under my arm everyday for 14 days than come talk to her,
I was almost crying as she just knew my fucking problems.
Before I went vegan i was hefty and couldnt loose weight I thought it was because I fucked myself over when i was younger with drugs and fucked my matolblism, once becoming vegan so far in the past year with HEAVY vigorous work outs ive only managed to loose 27 lbs. while i am very happy with my weight loss, I can now see why my thyroid played a part along with my absolutely 0 sex drive.
Now at first i was skeptical shes trying to make me spend money and yes the two products for my cold did come up to 60$ but she said ill give you 10$ off so it was 50 and it will last a long time, than she said 1 moment
and comes back out with 10 other products for me for free. out of the goodness of her heart
we all natural homeopathy shit costs an arm and a fucking leg, she who is also a vegan made sure nothing i bought or was given to me had any animal products in it.
she explained how to use each one and so basically after my cold is over i am hopeful i can get my anxiety under control and gain my fucking life back
I havent gone to the beach in 6 years...i have not ridden the Ferris wheel since i was a child and i cannot travel unles s i go buy Xanax illegally and stuff myself till i knock myself out with it.
Xanax is expensive here and i have to do it just to go see my grandparents 3 hours away.
I cant go shopping without having an attack, and having to the leave the store, i shop only at 1 24 hour grocery store at 3 am when no one is there, anxiety has taken over my life, i hate it. ive tried every method in the book to attempt to get over it and while ive made serious process by becoming vegan and doing yoga , it isnt enough to restore my life i once had.
Im sick of having to be half in the bag to be able to go out with friends.
sorry for the long rant i am just hoping for a better life very soon its so close i can feel it