NorthofEngland
Well-Known Member
Washington DC, 05/12/2011
After the surprise auto erotic accidental death of President John McCain, on 03/19/2011, President Sarah Palin was sworn in as America's first woman president.
In her first 8 weeks as leader of the free world President Palin has caused an irreparable breach in the centuries old relationship between the UK and the USA after accidentally ordering Navy Seals to attack London's first branch of Walmart, in an apparent rift caused by the percentage of man made fibres in their Winter Wool Selection.
In another shocking departure from decades old policy, Israel has been labelled a 'State Sponsor of Terrorism' after President Palin mistakenly ordered a drone attack on Galillee (in the belief that Galillee was a Syrian Terrorist Training camp).
Many were amazed at President Palins decision to nominate George W Bush as her Vice President on the grounds that 'He's one of the few politicians who can have a conversation on a similar level to myself' and 'He believes in God'. Both President Palin and Vice President Bush have introduced prayer times to all schoolchildren, teachers and public employee's.
Any convict who refuses to pray for the allotted prayer time (15 minutes daily per every year sentenced, minus 30 seconds per every year already served - during current sentence) will have privileges (such as food, shelter and warmth) removed.
The NRA commended President Palins first eight weeks in office as 'legendary'.
Political commentators view President Palins relaxation of federal gun laws as a 'complete capitulation to the U S gun lobby'.
It is now possible for anyone over the age of 6 years old to buy sub machine guns and rocket propelled grenades, over the counter in any gun shop, without official ID or even proof of citizenship.
It is now mandatory for schoolteachers to carry pistols whilst teaching class.
After two teachers shot pupils in their care, due to mental stress, President Palin commented that
"The deaths of these pupils is a trajectory but, from a position of optomysticalism, at least remaining pupils now understand the importance of showing courtesy towards their teachers".
Rumours persist that President Palin is expecting the love child of Mitt Romney.
George W Bush is favourite to be Godfaher.
The name of the unborn child is likely to never be an issue as Father, Mother and Godfather are all known to have been aborted in their first few weeks of conception.
George W Bush Jnr is thought to be the product of an illicit affair between Ronald Reagan and Mother Theresa of Calcutta.
At age 14 he impregnated Barbara Bush (his legal mother) with his half alien genetic code.
It is for this reason that most Republicans are suspicious of education, overly dependent on guns and predisposed to medical conditions - such as chronic. uncontrolled. neo-con. tendencies (C.U.N.T) and Seriously Troubling Unstoppable Patriotism Idealistically Devoid (S.T.U.P.I.D).
Remember, if you feel the shame of being Republican, this terrible affliction can only be combatted with one antidote....
Reading books.
Republicans and education DO NOT MIX.
After the surprise auto erotic accidental death of President John McCain, on 03/19/2011, President Sarah Palin was sworn in as America's first woman president.
In her first 8 weeks as leader of the free world President Palin has caused an irreparable breach in the centuries old relationship between the UK and the USA after accidentally ordering Navy Seals to attack London's first branch of Walmart, in an apparent rift caused by the percentage of man made fibres in their Winter Wool Selection.
In another shocking departure from decades old policy, Israel has been labelled a 'State Sponsor of Terrorism' after President Palin mistakenly ordered a drone attack on Galillee (in the belief that Galillee was a Syrian Terrorist Training camp).
Many were amazed at President Palins decision to nominate George W Bush as her Vice President on the grounds that 'He's one of the few politicians who can have a conversation on a similar level to myself' and 'He believes in God'. Both President Palin and Vice President Bush have introduced prayer times to all schoolchildren, teachers and public employee's.
Any convict who refuses to pray for the allotted prayer time (15 minutes daily per every year sentenced, minus 30 seconds per every year already served - during current sentence) will have privileges (such as food, shelter and warmth) removed.
The NRA commended President Palins first eight weeks in office as 'legendary'.
Political commentators view President Palins relaxation of federal gun laws as a 'complete capitulation to the U S gun lobby'.
It is now possible for anyone over the age of 6 years old to buy sub machine guns and rocket propelled grenades, over the counter in any gun shop, without official ID or even proof of citizenship.
It is now mandatory for schoolteachers to carry pistols whilst teaching class.
After two teachers shot pupils in their care, due to mental stress, President Palin commented that
"The deaths of these pupils is a trajectory but, from a position of optomysticalism, at least remaining pupils now understand the importance of showing courtesy towards their teachers".
Rumours persist that President Palin is expecting the love child of Mitt Romney.
George W Bush is favourite to be Godfaher.
The name of the unborn child is likely to never be an issue as Father, Mother and Godfather are all known to have been aborted in their first few weeks of conception.
George W Bush Jnr is thought to be the product of an illicit affair between Ronald Reagan and Mother Theresa of Calcutta.
At age 14 he impregnated Barbara Bush (his legal mother) with his half alien genetic code.
It is for this reason that most Republicans are suspicious of education, overly dependent on guns and predisposed to medical conditions - such as chronic. uncontrolled. neo-con. tendencies (C.U.N.T) and Seriously Troubling Unstoppable Patriotism Idealistically Devoid (S.T.U.P.I.D).
Remember, if you feel the shame of being Republican, this terrible affliction can only be combatted with one antidote....
Reading books.
Republicans and education DO NOT MIX.
