I'm in trouble again

[ClaytonBigsby]

My wife works weekend nights, so sometimes I get a little crazy. Some friends and I rented some midgets for a party last Saturday night. They were supposed to serve drinks and dance every 15 minutes. One of the little bastards got drunk and started throwing up in my house. My friend picked him up by his belt and carried him to the backdoor where he threw him into the backyard. This pissed the other little bastards off. They were like a swarm of bees, yelling and running around. We were all pretty lit and couldn't take any of them seriously. The more we laughed, the madder they got. One of them threw a glass against the wall. It dented the drywall and exploded, sending ice, alcohol, and glass all over like shrapnel. Now, I'm pissed. I grabbed him and took him to outside where one of my friends was getting some more alcohol out of his trunk. In this little guy went. He was going apeshit, as was one of his buddies, so one of my friends thought maybe the first guy needed company so he sent him into the trunk too. The first guy thought we were letting him out so he didn't fight until he saw his buddy going in with him. Long story short, all four of them ended up in the trunk before long. About an hour later we went out and they were yelling crazy shit. We didn't want to let them out because they were extremely hostile. My friend decided he would take them out to a road a few miles away, pop the trunk and drive away after they got out. Sounded good. About an hour later my friend came back with an empty trunk and we had a good laugh. It's Tuesday night and the police just stopped by to ask if we had seen these guys. Apparently they haven't been back to their lives and they have all 4 been reported missing. We told the police they left without incident.

Do you think they are screwing with us? My friend said he popped the trunk, they got out and started hitting his car so he drove off. What would you do?

 

[urban1026835]

put a missed connections ad up in craigslist.

 

[Fungus Gnat]

You were supposed to leave the Roloff family alone as part of the restraining order. As your lawyer I advise you to dress four more little people up as the four missing ones and drop them off at their homes.

 

[Ringsixty]

Any of them wearing a top hat with a shamrock, green leprechaun suit? If so, look under your bed before going to sleep..lol

 

[neosapien]

I would start with asking your friend to take you to exactly where he dropped them off. Look around the area for little bodies. No little bodies no crime.

 

[hempyninja309]

Retain a Jewish lawyer.

 

[clint308]

Those little bastards are going to stalk the shit out of you for a long time
You will see little people running past windows in the night , little knocks on your door , Tiny little craps put into papper bag and set alight on you doorstep.
Can't wait to hear some of your stories as time goes on.
They are dirty on you bro , think mini me (austin powers)

 

[2paranoid]

lure them back to your house under the guise that you plan on cutting a deal with them, giving them cash or something...tell them to bring other midget friends so they feel safer. when they show up, have tape, long sticks, and a couple soccer nets ready and set up a GOD DAMN MIDGET FOOSBALL GAME. Yep...god damn right...you just went from paying a bunch of little people to tend to you're repressed sexual fantasies to MAKING BANK off little people by taking bets from people on the games.

 

[twostrokenut]

reconcile by offering them all a gig in your porno.

 

[cannabineer]

I am gratified that this isn't the tall tale i expected.

 

[BarnBuster]

I am gratified that this isn't the tall tale i expected.

surprised me he kept it short

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

I am gratified that this isn't the tall tale i expected.

Tall tale? Me? I'm not really one to spin a yarn

 

[domino7]

If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me...

 

[UncleBuck]

about a pound, but may be a little short.

 

[BarnBuster]

tell me you have a Youtube of Clayton and the 7 dwarfs...

 

[cannabineer]

Tall tale? Me? I'm not really one to spin a yarn

Goodness me. You live the sort of life of inspired excess that, since Beardo has passed beyond our sight, grants us vicarious entry into Mystery. I would not be so impudent as to think yarn while reading this thread.

 

[HighLowGrow]

Well SOB. I hated reading when I was younger. Now I would have read shit like this rather then being pushed to read The Hardy Boys.

 

[Nutes and Nugs]

My friend decided he would take them out to a road a few miles away, pop the trunk and drive away after they got out. Sounded good. About an hour later my friend came back with an empty trunk and we had a good laugh. It's Tuesday night and the police just stopped by to ask if we had seen these guys. Apparently they haven't been back to their lives and they have all 4 been reported missing. We told the police they left without incident.

Do you think they are screwing with us? My friend said he popped the trunk, they got out and started hitting his car so he drove off. What would you do?

I wonder where you could confirm they are missing.
Sounds like one of them filed a complaint and the cops are just lying (as usual) to get info from you.

Sounded like fun while it lasted.

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

I wonder where you could confirm they are missing.
Sounds like one of them filed a complaint and the cops are just lying (as usual) to get info from you.

Sounded like fun while it lasted.

I hope you are right. I doubt the police would show up to try to just scare me into a confession. Maybe I will call to see if I can hire them again as someone else.

 

[Granny weed]

They were probably santa's little helpers and now they are missing! shame on you clayton there's going to be some very sad kids around this Christmas, must you abuse everything and everyone you come in contact with.