cut down the male at 1/4-1/2 inch above soil mark, leave other one, its should show sex in the next two to three weeks (females typically take longer to show), leave dead male in pot, because it will kill the other plant to dig in and take out the dead males roots. Pollen sacks take anywhere from 3 to 5 weeks to start openning, but can sometimes open as two weeks after you see them form.