A Guy Walks Into A Bar...

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on".
 

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.

A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"
 

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
My son asked me if I had ever done something bad to a dog.
"No, but my next-door neighbor did when I was a kid. I saw the whole thing."
"What happened?"
"One neighbor had this dog that would always bark and snarl at all the kids in the neighborhood. So this other neighbor decided he was gonna fix the dog's wagon for keeps.
He snuck in very quietly when the dog was asleep and filled his watewr dish with gasoline.
The dog woke up and took a drink ... in fact he lapped the bowl dry. His eyeballs then sort of clacked together, and he RAN in circles around the yard, and ran and ran. After almost an hour, he suddenly stopped and fell over sideways."
"Wow, Dad! You saw all that? Why did the dog fall over?"

" ... He ran out of gas."
cn
 

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it..'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.




'Where's my toast ?'
 

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
 

Jimmyjonestoo

Well-Known Member
What's the difference between Sarah palins mouth and her vagina?
Only half the things that come out pf her vagina are retarded.
 
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