Wow buddy, sounds like you in a little deep and want out. I've seen this numerous times with many friends and loved ones. I've even been to the pain management (ie legal dope dealers) docs for low back pain and a catastrophic knee injury. From my experience, the best way to come off it by yourself is to tell those that are closest to you. I wouldn't let it be known to people I work with or my employer. Next you must reduce your dosage. You are wrecking your digestive tract, liver, and stomach, brain, etc; but you know this already. Now you need to reduce your dosage again. Keep doing it until you are off the meds. I don't know how bad your pain is, but it is nothing like the pain that I've seen narcotic (opiate) addiction bring upon individuals and families first hand.
In my opinion, the withdrawal is WAY worse than the pain that is experienced. Trust me, once you are off the meds for a period of time, you may come to find that your pain was amplified by your addiction. When your opiate receptors are constantly occupied by meds, as soon as the medication titer decreases the pain comes in full force as a rebound effect. What I'm saying is that you don't even know if you are experiencing true pain or an opiate decline induced pain phenomena.
DO NOT TRY AND QUIT THESE PILLS COLD TURKEY WITHOUT THE SUPERVISION OF A COMPETENT, LICENSED, MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. Opiate withdrawal is serious!!! My personal experience involved going from codeine, to vicodin, and eventually dilaudid. After a couple of years on the pharmaceutical roller coaster, I'd had enough. I told my wife and best friends I wanted off these meds. I slowly decreased my daily dosage, then went to taking the lowest dose every other day, to once or twice a week as needed, to nearly never taking it. I did this without medical supervision. Without going into too much detail, I have the neccessary training and education to understand what was happening in my body. I've tried to put into very lay terms for you here.
Just back your dose off, then back it off some more. Try and live with the increase in pain until you can clear your body of the opiates. Your opiate receptors have been occupied for 7 years bro! You are going to vomit, the sheets on feet will feel like hot coals, stay close to the toilet b/c when the fire water comes it doesn't wait, stomach cramps, sweats; it's not going to be fun. However it will be worth it to have your mind and body clear. Get yourself a support team that cares about you, and understands your desire to rid yourself of this.
I'm not saying some of us don't need opiate medications, but MD's and the pharmcos have been very irresponsible with these medications. It is up to you to decide whether or not you need these meds. However, you are not in a position to determine your medical need at this time. You don't even know if you still hurt. Your need for these meds is likely primarily a physical addiction that cannot be avoided at your current dose. At those doses, I can tell you over time nothing good comes out of it. I've had friends, family members, and collegues all pass way before their time.
I'm not a big proponent of rehabs, but sometimes, especially with opiates, they are neccessary. I just don't jive with all the "you are powerless" BS that these facilities insist that you subscribe to. I do not think you are powerless. You have the power to make the decision to change your life today. I know it's anonymous, but you took a small step in posting this in an open forum. I'm pulling for you buddy. If you even need any encouragement or someone to talk to, shoot me a PM. You could also use the PuffDeeCee signal, but you will have to get the light from the commissioner. I hope I've given you some encouragement. Take care buddy...PDC
and take only when you have to. I like to randomly break up my supply and put it into different places, "hide it" as an exercise so I dont become dependant like I started to. Although In my defense and yours the pain is real and I walk like a cowboy/pirate when I am not loaded! I turned to weed so I could offer myself not as a total dependant. I am actually getting happy, I hope you can too.
