Advice for new growers

cowell said:

oh.. you keep pulling me back in... change what...É

Click to expand...

tafbang said:

I saw how long it was and didn't even read, because my subconscious read some of it and told me it was something useless/silly

Click to expand...

Lacon13 said:

This guy is a complete loon.Sounds like he's been wasting his time for the past 30 years getting naked and molesting plants.Get mad and say I don't know shit.That's fine.But if it works for ya bro,knock yourself out.I just wasted all my time on this thread and it turned to the gutter and contained no knowledge of botany what so ever.Well that's entertainment I guess.What sad is my dumbass will tune back in to see what kind of shit happens next.lol!!

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

Any advice????? Don't follow the OP's advice.

Humans don't sweat in the winter.....I used to sweat like a motherfucker under 8 x 1000 w lights....dead winter.

Plants pick up polarized light, and magically shake......then POOF, you got a fucking bonzai tree.

Dude's either off his rocker, or is fuckin with everyone.

I'll stick with tried and true methods of MJ growing. I suggest anyone wanting to try this, do it with tomatoes or something similar. NOT your MJ plants.

Just my two cents, but what do I know.

Click to expand...

Downey said:

comon guys lets all just smoke and be naked.....being naked is awesome.....i would think you guys would be stoked like me....now i actually have a reason to sit naked with my plants

Click to expand...

jweezy707 said:

Thanks for saving me precious time by insulting yourself.



You show all the symptoms of an internet forum addict.
1. You've come across something that you haven't thought of first.
2. You're natural instinctive internet forum posting abilities will cause you to try and refute the person who was able to innovate a method that you're incapable of.
3. 'Magically shake'. Hmmm, great way to get the newbies thinking right? Convincing them that it's just pure magic when it is true science.
4. 'I used to sweat like a motherfucker under 8 x 1000 w lights....dead winter.' That's an insult in itself.
5. 'Just my two cents, but what do I know.' <-- Probably the brightest thing you've said your entire life.

Click to expand...

jweezy707 said:

First off, I would like to say that I have well over 30 year of experience with all types of plants, herbs, fruits, vegetables, and virtually everything else that grows from the ground. I am a master of science in plant biology, and my line of specific research is horticulture. Plants are my life. This is most prominent tip you will ever encounter;

People always tell you that you will need a specific lighting schedule to tell your plants what season they are in.
Although this is true, this isn't the only approach;

Your plants can simply tell by how much you are sweating. The reason for this is that humans only sweat in the summer and spring. When you excessively sweat near your plants, they will be more encouraged to grow due to electrical synapses in the plants chloroplast.

This system can be easily abused.
1. Leave your lights on 24 hours a day when flowering.
2. Every 6 hours (this is important) go next to your plants in heavy winter clothing so they think that it's winter time. Spend no more than 18 minutes at a time or else the plants will dismember.
3. Buds (impossible to induce pollen sacs) will start to show by the 2nd day. If it doesn't show, keep trying, it will.
4. Harvest 6 days later. The buds will just grow overnight, but to produce the most THC, it's safe to leave it on an extra 5 days.

Also, you can literally train your plants without stressing them by following this simple routine:

1. Leave your lights on 24 hours a day.
2. Every 8 hours (again, very important) stand next to your plants in either summer clothes, or strip down completely nude. It works best if you are stripped completely nude, but if you don't want to feel crazy you can use the summer clothes (shorts and a t shirt).
3. Wear sunGLASSes, the plants can sense polarized glass which will induce them into a spring fever mode.
4. Again, spend no more than 18 minutes at a time with the plants.
5. In 4-5 days, the plant will start shaking rather violently nonstop. That's okay, its ready to metamorphose. This is a completely normal process and should be overthought.
6. In about a week, the plant will look like it has been trained for years. It'll be like a little bonsai bush.
7. If the plant doesn't train itself, then try to get a sweat running before you go into the plant room.

That's about it. If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask.

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

That was 20 seconds of me pulling bullshit out of this story.

Get a fucking life. Any noob that follows this Idiot Guide to MJ Production
deserves what they get.

Be warned....you follow this shit, I will never help you, and most other growers most likely won't either......maybe just the ones that feel sorry for stupid people.

OP......Take your BS somewhere else.

Click to expand...

jweezy707 said:

I don't see you pulling any bullshit out of any story.
There is no bullshit or story in this thread. Just a method to help fellow novices such as yourself benefit from their plants.

I find it hard to believe that a kid who is barely 18 years old with a Johnny Depp avatar along with 1200+ posts, is telling me to get a 'fucking' life. Consider outdoor cultivation; you would benefit from the sun greatly than any other plant would.

'Be warned....you follow this shit, I will never help you,' - I don't even need to further elaborate at how silly this sounds. You act like you're the God of growing, everyone needs your help or else they won't get past germination.

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

I've moved more MJ than you've dreamed of clown.....nevermind what I've grown.

Loser.

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

Guy's a fuckin troll.

Its plain to see by his completely stupid posts he has thrown out.

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

I've moved more MJ than you've dreamed of clown.....nevermind what I've grown.

Loser.

Click to expand...

jweezy707 said:

... Now the kid has to resort to name calling over the internet.
"I've moved more MJ than you've dreamed of clown.....nevermind what I've grown."
Does that even make sense? I can't even reply to your posts because they lack in any sensibility.

Click to expand...

Devildog93 said:

This coming from the guy who started this RIDICULOUS thread.....OK

Click to expand...

jweezy707 said:

The very same 'ridiculous' thread that your posting on... right? Wouldn't that make you even more ridiculous?

Thanks for linking my thread in your signature BTW, now I'll definitely have the e-Fame I've always wanted .

Click to expand...