Anyone have experience with an alcoholic spouse?

Animal Ramble Plantation said:

and as far as personal experiences go mine will trump yours so feel a little better about yourself.

i was living out of independence, mo doing lots of meth and heroin with my girlfriend. for over 4 years we railed, banged, and shot up anything we could find. one day i accidentally got her pregnant and throughout the pregnancy was planning for an abortion. only to blow every $5, $10, $15 or $20 i had on glass. needless to say the baby came, with only minor health defects (thank whatever god is out there) and the day my baby Maddie was born i quit using. my girlfriend, didn't. so without ONE SECONDS HESITATION I filed for custody and easily won.

now over the years she has tried to get clean and tried to come back into play. for a solid 9 months she was keeping her use so sneakily hidden from me i even let her move back in. and i will personally, until the day i dies vouch for the fact that CHILDREN RAISED IN POVERTY OR AROUND POVERTY LEVEL WILL NOT SUCCEED ULTIMATELY. look at any ghetto for an irrelevant example. if you're child sees mommy passed out drunk off the bottle, bet your ass he will want to be just like her when he gets to highschool.

if you (not you personally, or anyone here) cant give up a drug, and alcohol is a drug, for a life that by only your decision has been made, i feel like you deserve nothing short of death. take some advice and try your hardest to help because two parents will always raise a child better than one. "takes a village.." but to me it sounds like 14 years of alcohol and pain killers has done no good. i might suggest leaving if it applies, cause yes, you bet your hard earned check that its hard. but what is greater than raising someone who not only loves you as a protector, but will always cherish you as an example and role model for their life?

nothing. i can promise you that. no weed, no pills, no lsd can compare to true unbridled blood love man.

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Animal Ramble Plantation said:

my current fiance lost her ex the same way and i would often wonder the same had i been in similar of a scenario. but the most important thing to remember is that suicide is one of the single most selfish acts upon mankind. and had that person truly loved and cared about you they would still exist. never can it be your fault for a human loss unless you took it by your own hand. and what you did is a very smart and responsible thing. and the weight of that past created has vanished with him and so shall you're sorrow of it. in due time with acceptance.

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sunni said:

while i was not married to this person but dated them for a long long time

we tried everything, AA meetings, detoxings, ect ect
nothing worked because he truly did not want to get sober.
in the end i was so sick of the way he was when he was drunk screaming, yelling, paranoia, sickness, crying, breaking things, jealousy ectect

After about 2 years i couldnt go on anymore, i tried my hardest but it got to the point where i was physically and mentally in trouble if i stayed so i left

he commited suicide last year i have tremendous amount of guilt, what if i didnt try enough?
what if i couldve done something more?

i loved him dearly but in the end i needed to get myself clean off the drugs i was using

guess thats not much help....

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Granny weed said:

My dad was an alcoholic, and I had many a beating from him when he was drunk, but I loved him and I suppose forgave him because when he wasn't drunk he was a good dad. I have hated alcohol since I was a child I saw my dad change from a kind caring person to someone who was cruel and violent, I vowed I would never be with a man that was a drinker. But my husband reminds me of my dad and drinks quite a lot, I watch him change just like my dad did from someone who loves me to someone who wants to fight with me, its not a good environment to be in my children will vouch for that, but its hard when you love someone and easy for people to say walk away. Over the years my husband has become more mellowed and when he drinks he rarely wants to fight with me I think he knows at this stage in our lives I would be less likely to put up with it, when our children were small it was harder and I tried to shield them from the effects of his drinking, but they talk about their childhood now and my husbands drinking is always mentioned, so I didn't shield them enough obviously. I feel for anyone who lives with a drinker and loves them you become very sad and lonely, you don't want to go anywhere with them because they embarrass you and because of this you miss out on a lot. So advice! I've no idea its all down to how much you can take of it and whether you can talk them into seeing what you see when they are drunk, and of course whether they can see their is a problem and want to put it right. Good luck with this one and I truly mean that.

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Animal Ramble Plantation said:

my current fiance lost her ex the same way and i would often wonder the same had i been in similar of a scenario. but the most important thing to remember is that suicide is one of the single most selfish acts upon mankind. and had that person truly loved and cared about you they would still exist. never can it be your fault for a human loss unless you took it by your own hand. and what you did is a very smart and responsible thing. and the weight of that past created has vanished with him and so shall you're sorrow of it. in due time with acceptance.

Click to expand...