Hey y'all,
Ya, totally sucks about the memory loss and definitely very, very scary. My wife calls me Rip Van; just waking up. Most things I'm coming across doesn't really discuss how long the impairments are either unfortunately. My doc (new doc) is a certified addictionologist and talks about it being permanent. Not really what you want to hear when you're withdrawing, heh heh. Appreciated the honesty though. He also talked about, meth use, even casual, causing permanent damage to some neuro-systems leading to a tendency to not feel joy, happiness, pleasure, etc. the same way that an unimpaired brain would. Big fun that one. Not to mention that during benzo use and well into withdrawal the mind tends to go to "dark places" and many decisions are made based on that faulty frame of mind. In my case I really didn't know what was tripping me out for the longest. Ya tend to not really feel a "jones" for benzos in the same way you do with opiates, etc. so physical dependency can really sneak up on ya. I came into some money from a car accident settlement and "something" was telling me to get my ass outta Vegas ASAP before the next tragedy struck. All in a desperate mood I went and bought a small farm in the south. I don't know why if you ask me today. Why move to a place with such draconian laws on MJ when you can move almost anywhere you want. I remember saying to everyone at one time there's no way in hell you'd catch me down south, not even for a road trip and yet here I am, broke as a joke, heh heh. All part of the fun I guess. It is an ass kicker for sure.
Mad props to you CreepySteevie69 and to anyone else who has or is trying to beat this monster. Ya know once we're done we can never go back to benzos. Not for the 12-step kind of reasons of maintaining complete abstinence for success but because a previous dependency to benzos kind of "primes" the neural pathways for a serious backslide with our brain chemistry should we use them again. Nasty, nasty stuff for sure.
Still, I think there's hope in neuroplasticity, that is, the brains ability to form new neural networks based on external/internal stimuli. There's things we can do. I sure hope so. I'd hate to think of 8 years of higher education going out the window, heh heh. As for me, I think studying math/sciences and learning to effectively teach them would help to strengthen things up for me. I think it's time to take a break from the hardcore therapist gig for a while, heh. Just don't ask me to remember anything for a test.
Fazz, thanks for the welcome. I haven't posted too much on the growing topic as I'm a new student to the art and there seems to be many more informative opinions on here. I don't yet have much to add on the subject. Yet . . .
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