Blaze & Daze

Dboybudz

Dboybudz

Well-Known Member
Charles U Farley said:
A long read but funny as hell, especially if you're a retired old fart like me:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.'

One of the Staff passed out.
Click to expand...
That's the funniest thing I read in awhile,lol
 
laddyd

laddyd

Well-Known Member
We used to have an Allied down the street from our house. It was like a super Walmart, it had everything in one tenth the size. Just as much stuff but crammed into a much smaller building.
There was this guy, Wayne, that roamed the hardware area looking for lost souls to help.
A typical conversation would go like "whatcha working on? Water heater huh?"
He would then pick out exactly what you needed, no more, no less. Lowes moved in close by and put them out of business.
Home depot used to be kind of like that Allied. They would hire retired electricians for the electrical department. Maybe a botanist for the plant department. That cost too much so they stopped. We all know what happened to customer service after they started to cheap out. Crappy Chinese shit and shitty customer service, best you can hope for is somebody to tell you what aisle to look in.
 
Laughing Grass

Laughing Grass

Well-Known Member
laddyd said:
We used to have an Allied down the street from our house. It was like a super Walmart, it had everything in one tenth the size. Just as much stuff but crammed into a much smaller building.
There was this guy, Wayne, that roamed the hardware area looking for lost souls to help.
A typical conversation would go like "whatcha working on? Water heater huh?"
He would then pick out exactly what you needed, no more, no less. Lowes moved in close by and put them out of business.
Home depot used to be kind of like that Allied. They would hire retired electricians for the electrical department. Maybe a botanist for the plant department. That cost too much so they stopped. We all know what happened to customer service after they started to cheap out. Crappy Chinese shit and shitty customer service, best you can hope for is somebody to tell you what aisle to look in.
Click to expand...
I've found home depot here pretty helpful. I hate when the ask what I'm building. Gotta make something up on the spot.
 
TCH

TCH

Well-Known Member
FloraFlex order is in.
1lb each Veg nutes
1lb each bloom nutes
Assembled Adjustable bubbler with valve and Tee
Air purge
and 100' of that pretty green line

Now I'm hoping FedEx doesn't shit the bed and it gets here quickly.
 
Last edited:
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
TCH said:
FloraFlex order is in.
1lb each Veg nutes
1lb each bloom nutes
Assembled Adjustable bubbler with valve and Tee
Air purge
and 100' of that pretty green line

Now I'm hoping FedEx doesn't shit the bed and it gets here quickly.
Click to expand...
I'm really looking forward to seeing it. I'm struggling with a drainage system that isn't their round green one which is aesthetically mixing stripes and polka dots to me. I'm not capable of that. So I have to design a drainage system that will save my new frou frou pan from looking like someone's urinating on it. I wanted black but they only had white. Who knew it would cause these attendant issues??

Edited to add a picture of the high maintenance table I was bitching about
1699980844248.png
 
Laughing Grass

Laughing Grass

Well-Known Member
curious2garden said:
I'm really looking forward to seeing it. I'm struggling with a drainage system that isn't their round green one which is aesthetically mixing stripes and polka dots to me. I'm not capable of that. So I have to design a drainage system that will save my new frou frou pan from looking like someone's urinating on it. I wanted black but they only had white. Who knew it would cause these attendant issues??

Edited to add a picture of the high maintenance table I was bitching about
View attachment 5343592
Click to expand...
it really does look like someone peed in the pan.

IMG_6270 (1).JPG
 
FirstCavApache64

FirstCavApache64

Well-Known Member
Laughing Grass said:
it really does look like someone peed in the pan.

View attachment 5343595
Click to expand...
I made the same mistake when I bought saucers for the runoff. They had black and white versions and I thought white would look nicer. A couple weeks of use and they looked horrible lol. Only getting black next time, unless I can find a dark brown color that doesn't show as much gunk.
 
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