Drug test....help!!!!!
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Bagelthief
Well-Known Member
go to your local head shop and pick up a Gatorade type bottle of pee cleaner. it really works and your guaranteed 300% of your money back if it doesnt. they cost like 30 bucks though.
OregonMeds
Well-Known Member
The test for a job is not that strict, they don't actually stare at your crotch etc.
It's too late to get a cleaner product those take 2 weeks of cleanliness along with them to flush your system.
Your only option is the synthetic pee (available at head shops) or getting someone else to pee for you and then tape that stuff to your body in a very warm spot so that the temperature is right, and squirt that stuff in your little cup... If the do try to watch, play shy, say you need at least a little bit of privacy but it's rare for them to watch.
This whole drug testing shit has to stop... It's a complete invasion of privacy and doesn't actually show whether or not you're a capable worker or doing drugs on the job or not.
It's too late to get a cleaner product those take 2 weeks of cleanliness along with them to flush your system.
Your only option is the synthetic pee (available at head shops) or getting someone else to pee for you and then tape that stuff to your body in a very warm spot so that the temperature is right, and squirt that stuff in your little cup... If the do try to watch, play shy, say you need at least a little bit of privacy but it's rare for them to watch.
This whole drug testing shit has to stop... It's a complete invasion of privacy and doesn't actually show whether or not you're a capable worker or doing drugs on the job or not.
Bagelthief
Well-Known Member
does it have a money back guarantee? if it does, then it will most likely work. if you dont trust it, id say drink 2 of the regular ones.
K1Ng5p4d3
Junior Creatologist
man, i just play it 100% safe and get my lil bro to piss for me. I have him piss in a small prescription pill bottle (that is THOROUGHLY WASHED FIRST-you dont wanna get someones clean piss, and have them piss into an empty percocet bottle or somethin dumb like that,lol) the night before the test, but only have him fill it up halfway. keep it in a dark place over night. The morning of the test, take the piss, and fill it the other half way up with HOT water(depending on how much time you have til your test - if its only an hour or two away, use WARM water), and then put the cap on.
Then, put on a pair of boxer briefs, and then a pair of boxers over it, and take the pill bottle, n put that shit under your nutsack. The reason you put it under your nuts, is because your piss has to be the right temperature, and keeping it under your nuts not only ensures that your replacement piss will be well hidden for the job interview, but also ensures that it will be either body temp exactly, or a degree or two slightly above body temp. keep that shit under your nuts all day if you have to, but do that shit - its garunteed to keep it at the right temp.
Go to your test. Take your replace-a-piss out, fill the test bottle up with half of the pill bottles contents (it only needs to be a very little amount. They dont care as long as its past the line which is about a half inch above the bottom of the cup), and pour the rest into the toilet in a thin pee-like stream. close your test bottle, close your replacepiss bottle, hide that shit n walk out of the bathroom. WOILA! your fuckin employed.
Then, put on a pair of boxer briefs, and then a pair of boxers over it, and take the pill bottle, n put that shit under your nutsack. The reason you put it under your nuts, is because your piss has to be the right temperature, and keeping it under your nuts not only ensures that your replacement piss will be well hidden for the job interview, but also ensures that it will be either body temp exactly, or a degree or two slightly above body temp. keep that shit under your nuts all day if you have to, but do that shit - its garunteed to keep it at the right temp.
Go to your test. Take your replace-a-piss out, fill the test bottle up with half of the pill bottles contents (it only needs to be a very little amount. They dont care as long as its past the line which is about a half inch above the bottom of the cup), and pour the rest into the toilet in a thin pee-like stream. close your test bottle, close your replacepiss bottle, hide that shit n walk out of the bathroom. WOILA! your fuckin employed.
Billj500
New Member
Those $30-$40 drinks really work. I'm a commercial driver and have used them at least 2-3 times successfully with just 24hrs notice. If you follow the directions on the label exactly, it will work. You don't need two, one is just fine, even for heavy smokers. They are all pretty much the same, so don't spend too much time deciding which brand to pick. Good luck.
K1Ng5p4d3
Junior Creatologist
n dont be goin around talkin bout awwww K1Ng5p4d3 is a disgusting mutherfuckker - This shit is surefire, and it works. I cant swear by flush out drinks n shit like that, mainly cuz with all the shit they test for nowadays, you can never be too sure that they wont test for certain chemicals in your piss too. Gold Seal used to be the BEST shit to use back in the day to clean out your piss for a test, but they got hip to that, and they started doin drug tests with an extra screening that looked for the chemicals that were in gold seal. Either syntho pee or real piss from someone else is the surefire way to pass yourself a wiz test with flying colors without the possibility of setting off any flags where there need not be any.
If you got yourself a monitored piss on your hands, there are ways around that too :
Its called the WHIZZINATOR.
The Next Generation Original Whizzinator and Urinator Alternative - Better than the Original Whizzinator or Urinator !
fake cock n all, i mean granted, its a little small even for a soft cock, but if you got yourself a perverted drug tester guy who gets off on the golden shower n wants to see a yellow stream shoot outta yer pisshole, then this is the way to go for you.
If you got yourself a monitored piss on your hands, there are ways around that too :
Its called the WHIZZINATOR.
The Next Generation Original Whizzinator and Urinator Alternative - Better than the Original Whizzinator or Urinator !
fake cock n all, i mean granted, its a little small even for a soft cock, but if you got yourself a perverted drug tester guy who gets off on the golden shower n wants to see a yellow stream shoot outta yer pisshole, then this is the way to go for you.
Chumlie
Well-Known Member
Go to GNC and get this shit. It also comes in Purple but from personaly experience I don't recomend you get it. It CLEANS both ends.
It takes about an hour to start working and gives you a 2 hour window
The mistake that most people think is that you can clean your system out all together.
This is not true unless you stop smoking, etc for howerver long it takes to get it out of your system depending on a lot of things. You can only get a window opening. I use this stuff, trust me it works I used it to get my liscence back last year. If anybody tells you different they are full of it(window part).
YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONs TO The POINT, and you will Past.
GNC - Herbs & Cleansing: Natural Cleansing & Detox: BNG Enterprises HERBAL CLEAN® QCARBO32 - Tropical
poppinsmokey
Well-Known Member
The following is a response I wrote to a similiar thread a week or so ago. It is much cheaper, and VERY effective!
Unfortunately, this is a topic with which I have much experience. There have been times in my life where I had to call a phone number every morning. They would give me a color name. If that color was "yellow", I had to present for UA DT within 2 hours. The following was my protocol which I followed in the next 2 hours...
1.) 2 - 5 liters of Water: consume this starting at least 2 hours prior to your test; 3 -4 hours would be best. Do NOT drink it all at once. Drink it over the course of a few hours. Your goal is to remove your normall concentrated urine from your bladder that has detectable metabolites, replacing it with dilute urine with below threshold quantities of bad stuff.
2.) 10 - 15 grams of creatine (any cheap creatine will do): This a bodybuilding supplement that can be found in any health food store or online. Any cheap brand will do. Mix this in orange juice or your juice of choice (5 grams [1 teaspoon] 2 - 3 hours prior to your test, and 5 grams 1 hour prior to your test. Creatine is converted to creatinINE and excreted. To determine urine concentration, creatinine is measured. If your creatinine level is below threshold, your urine will come back as "diluted". It will actually say specimen dilute, or something to this effect in your result. This is cause for suspicion from the tester because it indicates you attempted to dilute your urine by either drinking alot of water or putting water in your sample. Creatine is the KEY to passing a urinalysis drug test!!! You could also use 2 - 5 grams of creatine in the days leading upto the test, but this is not neccessary. It should also be mentioned that creatine can cause diarreah in those not used to consuming it.
3.) B-complex and Vitamin C vitamin (Qty = 2). Take one 2 - 3 hrs prior to test, and the other 1 hour before giving a sample. One of the characteristics of urine that is measured by labs is the color. B vitamins and vitamin C will give your sample a nice yellow color instead of the clear color of your otherwise diluted sample. Capsules work best for quickly turning your urine color yellow.
4.) Make sure you take a good piss or two or THREE before your test. When giving your sample, give early midstream urine. This will insure that the specimen you are giving is dilute, but not measurably dilute.
This works marvelously. Remember, THC from cannabis is fat soluble. It will remain detectable in your urine between 7 and 50 days after your last use depending on your frequency of use and strength of the product you are using. I do not KNOW of anything that will "mask" cannabis metabolites in your urine. I do KNOW that if your urine is diluted enough to reduce to the concentration of cannabis metabolites, AND your urine shows up as normal concentration (normal value of creatinine); you will piss clean.
Hope this helps. I have used this method over 40 times with no positive UA DT. I have actually burned one on the way to the test; and tested clean. Also, in my experience DUI/reckless driving charges do come with monthly urinalysis (usually during visit w/ PO). You may also have to test at any alcohol or drug class you have to take. Feel free to PM me or post further questions / concerns. Good luck!
I don't have time to check for typos right now, hopefully this is clear.
Unfortunately, this is a topic with which I have much experience. There have been times in my life where I had to call a phone number every morning. They would give me a color name. If that color was "yellow", I had to present for UA DT within 2 hours. The following was my protocol which I followed in the next 2 hours...
1.) 2 - 5 liters of Water: consume this starting at least 2 hours prior to your test; 3 -4 hours would be best. Do NOT drink it all at once. Drink it over the course of a few hours. Your goal is to remove your normall concentrated urine from your bladder that has detectable metabolites, replacing it with dilute urine with below threshold quantities of bad stuff.
2.) 10 - 15 grams of creatine (any cheap creatine will do): This a bodybuilding supplement that can be found in any health food store or online. Any cheap brand will do. Mix this in orange juice or your juice of choice (5 grams [1 teaspoon] 2 - 3 hours prior to your test, and 5 grams 1 hour prior to your test. Creatine is converted to creatinINE and excreted. To determine urine concentration, creatinine is measured. If your creatinine level is below threshold, your urine will come back as "diluted". It will actually say specimen dilute, or something to this effect in your result. This is cause for suspicion from the tester because it indicates you attempted to dilute your urine by either drinking alot of water or putting water in your sample. Creatine is the KEY to passing a urinalysis drug test!!! You could also use 2 - 5 grams of creatine in the days leading upto the test, but this is not neccessary. It should also be mentioned that creatine can cause diarreah in those not used to consuming it.
3.) B-complex and Vitamin C vitamin (Qty = 2). Take one 2 - 3 hrs prior to test, and the other 1 hour before giving a sample. One of the characteristics of urine that is measured by labs is the color. B vitamins and vitamin C will give your sample a nice yellow color instead of the clear color of your otherwise diluted sample. Capsules work best for quickly turning your urine color yellow.
4.) Make sure you take a good piss or two or THREE before your test. When giving your sample, give early midstream urine. This will insure that the specimen you are giving is dilute, but not measurably dilute.
This works marvelously. Remember, THC from cannabis is fat soluble. It will remain detectable in your urine between 7 and 50 days after your last use depending on your frequency of use and strength of the product you are using. I do not KNOW of anything that will "mask" cannabis metabolites in your urine. I do KNOW that if your urine is diluted enough to reduce to the concentration of cannabis metabolites, AND your urine shows up as normal concentration (normal value of creatinine); you will piss clean.
Hope this helps. I have used this method over 40 times with no positive UA DT. I have actually burned one on the way to the test; and tested clean. Also, in my experience DUI/reckless driving charges do come with monthly urinalysis (usually during visit w/ PO). You may also have to test at any alcohol or drug class you have to take. Feel free to PM me or post further questions / concerns. Good luck!
I don't have time to check for typos right now, hopefully this is clear.
Chumlie
Well-Known Member
About 53 american dollars, and after drinking about two you get use to the tast not that it is that bad. Yea like the guy above said do take a piss 4 or 5 times in that first hour. You will piss like a MF. Also while I was doing this I bought piss test from the tester inbetween the test. They didn't care they were getting my money. See if you can find testers, a one tab tester is 25 to 40 dollars but if its 40 go ahead and get all of them.
Bookworm
Well-Known Member
come on bro! You down for the krown and backin up the spade so we gon' have a real good time!
Amen brother! Not to mention unconstitutional.