Employer and medical bills.

My wife had 3 surgeries and we have decided to take some money out of my 401K. (only the amount to cover our total out of pocket) My employer wanted to see her medical bills from these surgeries since he is the administrator of our plan.... my wife does not work for him and we do not buy insurance through my employment. I showed my employer of over 30 years the paper from our insurance stating we have met our total out of pocket. My employer wanted to see all the bills that is related to her surgeries and he planned on looking at the entire bill (many pages) .... I denied him that.
Was I in the wrong?

Fuck him, your wife has a right to privacy.

DG1959 said:

My wife had 3 surgeries and we have decided to take some money out of my 401K. (only the amount to cover our total out of pocket) My employer wanted to see her medical bills from these surgeries since he is the administrator of our plan.... my wife does not work for him and we do not buy insurance through my employment. I showed my employer of over 30 years the paper from our insurance stating we have met our total out of pocket. My employer wanted to see all the bills that is related to her surgeries and he planned on looking at the entire bill (many pages) .... I denied him that.
Was I in the wrong?

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There are legal rules regarding 401K hardship withdrawals, which is what that would be.

You are withdrawing the money and may have to prove hardship.

Where I worked, you could borrow against your 401K and pay it back through payroll deduction without any questions whatsoever. And, you could borrow up to almost 50% of what you had in there through up to 3 loans at a time.

Ask your administrator about borrowing it and paying yourself back, like the big union corporations allow employees to do.

edit:

What is the employer's attitude like, how was it when you denied him? I've no expertise in these matters but it seems to violate HIPPA, only medical professionals and health insurance have rightful access to this info. How is the company doing? You state you've been there for 30 yrs, close to retirement? If the employer begins to play hardball, I'd find some way to look into the "health" of the 401k

The plan administrator is legally responsible for making sure documentation exists for a hardship withdrawal in case the plan is audited by the IRS. Otherwise an employee could use the distribution to pay gambling debts or buy a kilo. Hardship withdrawal is different than a 401k loan and has it's own rules. Not sure the employee's word is enough for hardship. This was the ruling some years ago unless that's changed.

You can actually make money from borrowing from your 401K (in a way).

The interest you pay back on the loan may actually exceed what you would have made if you hadn't borrowed it. Especially if a recession comes and you're into stock and mutual funds.

I remember borrowing from my 401K right before 2008 and was glad I did. The loan value didn't drop by 20% overnight like the 401K did. It's all 'on paper' losses, but it took a couple years to recover on paper.

And try to retire when the economy is booming later on down the road, not when things are bad.

I am 60 and my wife is 61. We have state PERS through her job of 20 years. We also own 16 city lots , yet to develop but zoned.
If my employer paid my health insurance, I might think about it (I am on wife's ) IF the $$ in my retirement were not 100% mine, maybe.`
Plan year of insurance has not only her 3 surgeries, but everything since beginning of plan year. He wants the " invoice" in his exact words. WTF? thought it was a "statement" after all, I didn't buy something.
Going to our competitor in the next few days to see if they will offer me a job. By the way, I am a supervisor.

I must be missing something here.

The company you have worked for for 30 years and where you, as a supervisor, must be considered a valued and no doubt well compensated employee, has asked to see documentation supporting your request to withdraw 401k funds.

You haven't said if this was to be a hardship, or 401k loan withdrawal. I am assuming hardship, perhaps your employer is too?

It sounds like the conversations you are having with the administrator (your boss) have been confrontational and not co-operative or constructive in nature, and you have not asked him why in fact they want/need the docs. Yet, you would rather leave this job and search for another at age 60, rather than comply with what I consider a not unreasonable request (or legal in case of hardship) by your employer.

Do you really dislike the job that much and are looking for an excuse to leave or feel they don't have the right to ask for or are being too intrusive in asking for said documentation? Is there something in the records you don’t want them to see? Are you refusing on "General Principals, they don't have the right to ask me, fuck them"?