Forced parenthood ( a place for us single dads forced into the flames)

u made me blush then u ripped it all away! lol

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LetsGetCritical said:

I'm going to share something personal here. I haven't seen my two year old girl for three months. There is no conceivable reason why this is the case apart from her mother trying to hurt me as much as humanly possible. I have since explored all legal avenues and have something coming up in the very near future which will ensure I get to see my girl by Christmas. My mother visits my daughter often and tells me things like "she runs around with a picture of you saying that dada, that dada" . I look at pictures of her and I break down and cry. I have done jail, nearly died once, been homeless, been bashed, been addicted, but I haven't experienced pain like this before. Maybe I'm strange.

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You are not strange, you are a parent that loves your child and wants to be part of her life. I have been down that sad and lonely road. Use that love/pain in your heart as the greatest motivating strength, and use it in a Positive way as that is what will benefit your child the most (and yourself). I hope you get that Merry Christmas!

TheSnake said:

she does have a dad, although i will have to legally go through courts to get custody instead of the old style of beating there head in with a rock to get custody... time change, i get it.

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You should not get custody, nor would any be granted. Visitation, and supervised visits, is where you are at. You DO need therapy. Intensive therapy.

TheSnake said:

i applaud you in your attention to get me emotionally frustrated, sadly never had a dad to give a shit so tell me all brilliant one, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I? somewhere, along the lines,... oh wait my mother cast out all fathers, so apparently that was the drawing point, that i stopped caring, go ahead tell me what a single mother did wrong, your a feminist male, probably brainwashed by a single mother... bring it on... love to hear it, i will defeat you to every outcome you could think of... i could insult u as bias, but then again, arnt we all?? go ahead lay it on me that females are more in control than we are and give reasons why... lay it out fucktard... love to head it.

its not called being a man, its called being a parent you fucking moron.

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When a Man has a child, he will either become a parent as being PART of being a man, or will embrace his fears and insecurities and deny his part in being a parent.

You have written some things that have made me very angry. I expected to be able to relate to part of your story when I first opened this thread. In terms of contraception and women having more rights and choices, I agree. In terms of post conception free choice of the mother and very little legal rights of the father, nature (science and logic) has made it the way it is and there isnt much we can do about it, a REAL MAN accepts that and deals with it maturely and without crying about it all the time because he didnt get his way and cannot control a woman or other people.

All you care about is mens opinion, you stated that on the first page. You claim you didnt have a dad. I am a man, and a Father. I am a Father first, and being the best father I can be proves to me and my peers that I am the Best and Biggest Man I could be.

Have you ever taken psychology or developmental psychology? I suggest you do. Learn about yourself and where YOU come from and how all the things in your life have made you who you are. THEN figure out whats really going on with you and the best way to move forward with yourself.

You strive to perform to the examples that were set for you- and that is exactly what you are doing.

In person- you call her a cunt, I knock you to the ground. You call your mom anything and I stomp on you until you cry out for her.

I was raised by my mom, for quite a while in my youth, and then a REAL MAN came into hers and my life. He showed me what it is to be a Real Man, a Manly Man, and a sensitive gentleman as well (If you think your a Manly Man, thesnake, then come work with me for ONE day). My mother is THE STRONGEST person I know, and raising a child or children on your own when their fathers are dead beats (like you) is one of the most difficult things a person can do. You didnt have a father, so that is the example you have to live up to. Your male role models were not positive and you feel abandoned by them and the experience, so you deny the pain that drives you to continue participating in your childs life (Guilt). Only your self awareness and conscious choice can change this. Only your choice to change your disposition can positively effect so many others and thereby produce a positive change elsewhere (confronting the issues you so adamently claim to be the reasons you never wanted to have children, by having a child and DEALING with those issues, i.e. BEING A MAN).

Anytime you have sex, you can create life. Going back to YOUR original post- You already know its all up to the lady post conception, so you gave her that power when you had sex to make the choice to keep a child if it was the result or not. You are just as responsible for providing that choice to keep it or not to her as she is for making the choice.

Now learn some Respect for my mistakes and HOW I take responsibility for them.

I fathered a child that was not biologically mine from the age of 2 years to 8 years old, when she was taken away from me by her mother which did nothing but hurt all of us. I had 2 more children with her mother prior to that. I loved their mother, and made the responsible choice to take as little risk of producing children with someone I didnt consciously want to have children with in all prior sexual activities. Our relationship suffered greatly under the stresses of having 3 children together and struggling in this economy/society. We broke up 3 years ago. At first we tried to have them equally between us, but I noticed my children suffered in her care that she became negligent and abusive. She got in a relationship with a vile dirty racist man that hated me and the children I have. After 2 1/2 years of FIGHTING hard to keep my childrens mother in their lives, she took off, gone. Me left with the 2 I had biologically and in a VERY fucked situation. Screw their mom, Im a MAN AND A FATHER, and have discovered them to be one in the same. I care for my children every day. I sacrafice for them everyday anything and everything I can. I continue to work hard and fight to have my childrens dead beat mother be whatever positive part of my childrens lives that she can be. I Have discovered that what I do as a parent will impact the future of our world perhaps more than most other things I do in my life, but of course I learned that from MY PARENTS- as I strive to live up to the examples I was set. Im sorry you weren't taught such valuable things by yours, I encourage you to LEARN and GROW now.

I made the choice to enter parenthood, just like you. I was Forced into becoming a single parent, it is apparent you have chosen to allow your child to be raised by a single parent. And Also- Shared custody is not being a single parent. 24/7 Everything is on you (even if there are a couple hours of visitation with other parent), that is being a single parent. I have read your posts, in how you relate to your visitation being about YOU. YOUR WRONG THERE buddy, the visitations are FOR the Child, not for you.

Be the difference. Be the difference you wanted in your childhood. Negativity breeds negativity, and positive forces always pave the way for a positive future. Speaking of which... my amazing, beautiful, wonderful, sweet angel of a daughter is tugging my arm to make pancakes. So I am going to go be a man and make pancakes while gently explaining to me daughter how to avoid little boys like you. I wish you luck that you may positively grow from this experience, and become the change you expressed as being needed in this world.

Step UP, or Step OUT. Grab your balls and make sure they are still there, or keep doing what your doing and some day a REAL woman will cut them off and do us all a favor.

Thank god I only shoot blanks...

Thankyou for the wishes. Some things have transpired and I will be seeing my daughter very soon, also thankyou everyone for all the likes and personal messages of support.

TheSnake said:

Real men dont call themselves "fathers" we call ourselves MEN. Women cling onto motherhood like a disease.

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It is really unbelievable that anyone would fuck you!

Snake

I would never think of denying you your anger towards those that have hurt you in the past, like yourself my childhood was far from stellar and there are demons lurking just under the surface and though they harbour me nightly, I fight daily to right those wrongs for that is a history I do not wish repeated.

hempyninja309 said:

Thank god I only shoot blanks...

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Be careful! That's what he thought.

Nobody knows the path he has walked.

I chose to have a child with the woman I love. We love her. She is our life.

I can not put myself in anyone's shoes, cause I don't understand. If my wife took my child away maybe I'd understand, but I don't, so I can't judge.

Emotions would fuck me up, especially if I was a lot younger than I am now. If this happened when I was in my 20's, who knows what would happen. People that are young aren't mature. Hell, I'm not mature even now. So I can't say anything other than this sounds like a shitty situation.

However, you are fully in control of yourself, of your reactions, of your future to some degree. Or you can force yourself to control yourself and your future a little. That's how to grow. Make yourself better, stop worrying about other people and their flaws, just work on your own. I find that's plenty to deal with for me. Seriously. If I could deal with myself first, that would make my life 100 times better. The only thing to do with other people is accept who they are, then move on and distance yourself from them. Or love them if you can. Love is the only reaction to other people and their journey in life, just as loving yourself is the only way to make yourself better. The only way.

I just took a big dump.Looked just like a snake. Coincidence?

Thanks for the +rep hempy. I love you bro.

To expand on my last post:

What can you force other people to do? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

What can you do to deal with other people? Accept them. It's fucking powerful. Once you accept others, you realize you can't change them. Problems melt away with this realization.

Actually, you need to accept yourself first, your flaws, and the darkest reality of yourself. Once you can a little, then you can accept others for who they are, and their flaws. You can't change them, you can only accept them. Period.

Acceptance is the most powerful force in the universe when you know how to use it on yourself and others. Hands down. It changes your life.

Raging against your situation feeds into anger, which solves nothing. Accepting yourself, your past, the mistakes you've made, and the mistake others have made, will set you free.