if he is being such a horrible person, then be one back... be sneaky about it though. it sounds bad, and i wish this upon no-one, but carry on growing, and if/when he finds you again have a fight, then burst into tears and say that you've kept a secret from him and that you have a disease and you use weed to kill the pain and its the only thing you know that gives you happiness in life anymore. sounds harsh, maybe too harsh, but if my "soulmate" was so insecure and stuck up in medevil ways then i would want them to understand that.