funny or ridiculous grow stories

Hi RIU,
I'M sure we all have a million funny smoking stories but I'd like to hear some funny/amazing/just plain crazy GROW stories. Mine is ok, I'm sure there are some much better ones out there though.

I was 17 living at home with my mother, sister, and roomate who I was going to high school with. An acquaintance had owed me $ and when the debt couldn't be paid I took his 4' 5" plant and said we're even.
My roomate and I then transplanted the plant from pot to earth way down in the woods of my secluded back yard, for a couple weeks we tended to it after school and it was growing nicely. On a Saturday we went to a friends' party and returned a little before dusk to check on my plant. It was gone! Dumbfounded we quickly ran through any possible culprits but came up with nada. Defeated we went up to the house and just after entering my mom was standing in the doorway to the kitchen and said " we gotta talk" she then pulled my plant into view which was as tall as her. " You fuckin stole my plant!" I said " its on my property that makes it my plant" she says. Pissed off I left to get drunk. Weeks later when I decided I would speak to her again she informed me that she sold it to a work friend. She never said but I'm sure my sister ratted me out.

About 5 years later she was atrested for possession of 100+ marijuana plants, all charges were dropped on technicalities.

My mother was never one of the cool parents that let me openly smoke or drink so both of these events were very suprising.

I had a 1000w hps bulb explode and start my wall, floor and table on fire. It even melted part of a flood table. Then the next day ,in the same room,while battling a knat problem, I stuck my head right into the ceiling fan.

Holy shit man I think someone went to see a witch doctor about you lol

Milk comes to my mind.

I have a few stories, but for specific reasons I cannot share them.

. burned an entire hay storage barn down from a burned up timer.
fire department came and everything. fire was so hot it burned a tractor and all my equipment and 3 flood and drain tables full. The grow op was never mentioned and it was in a state that doesn't necessarily support growing. I got by with one that day.

Bamboo stake in the eye feels just like I got kicked in the nuts! The other day I opened a bottle of nutes, answered my phone and proceeded to shake again right in my eye!

BBbubblegum said:

I have a few stories, but for specific reasons I cannot share them.

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embarrassment ? lol

My best involves the weed plant I was growing in a pot on my desk/windowsill when i was a feckless adolescent. Momma confiscated it but somehow neglected to kill it. i found it months later, flowered and cured "on the stick" in a corner of her special preserve ... the sewing room. I rescued about 1/16 of dried sinsemilla bud off the thing and, as I'd promised momma I would no longer partake of the devil's celery ... gave it to a friend who was one of the best-traveled psychonauts in our little community. "Oh my god, _____, I've never has something like that before ... or since." Thus did I find out that, for all my Planet-class geekery, I had a facility, a thing, a knack for growing the superior stonage. cn

Funny? You'll laugh your ass off if you check out any of shinfaggy's threads.

In H.S I lived with a buddy for Sr year.. we had a seed and planted it.. it got about 2 inches tall before his mom ripped it out thinking it was another weed she left it right on top too.. kinda like she knew.. (she worked for the local pd as did his dad)

cannabineer said:

My best involves the weed plant I was growing in a pot on my desk/windowsill when i was a feckless adolescent. .....snip........... cn

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Well I can do you one better. I had a 'friend', whose dad attempted to stuff his devil plant down the garbage disposal. Much hilarity ensued for everyone but dad as the plant merely did the hula in the disposer. It takes a chipper or a mower...... no puny garbage disposal is gonna take down super plant eh?

Oh, I've got tons....
From the crop duster spraying the wrong field, to the neighbors dog getting locked in my grow room and destroying EVERYTHING, to me having to transplant outdoor plants minutes before they were destroyed, to branches falling from trees and smashing my plants... well I guess that is about it. lol

Now for my own story of shame and there are so many to choose from. Ok let's discuss one of my worst screw ups. I left the R/O water on and had not plumbed the overflow on my 55 gallon drum (basic stupid stoner)...

My grow is on the second story... I am still thanking god my dog would not stop barking until I went upstairs. I have the BEST dog in the world! Now you know why he eats steak. I still came close to doing some very serious damage. Thank god with a RH of 10% around here we have no stachy botris issues.

NietzscheKeen said:

......snip.......to the neighbors dog getting locked in my grow room and destroying EVERYTHING, .....snip.....

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Just when I think I'm the queen of weird I see this. Ok more details! I need to know how the neighbors dog got in the grow room? Dog breed, where the grow room was etc.... I NEED DETAILS! Further I need to know your recipe for dog on a log? Me thinks I would have perfected mine after this LOL

Left the back door open. The dog snuck in while I was gone. My "grow room" at the time was the sunniest and warmest room in the house. It was a german shepherd. It was locked in there for at least a day and a half. The door to the grow room will open when pushed and will close back behind you. That's how it got in. I had just tended to the plants so I had no reason to go in there. I come home a day or so later and the blinds had been torn down and I see a dog standing on my antique furniture. It chewed the window sills up, tore up the blinds, chewed the sockets and phone jacks off the wall, chewed a hole in the wall, utterly destroyed my plants and got dirt EVERYWHERE. Knocked shelves over, chewed up the furniture that I was trying to sell, piss everywhere, knocked my computer and printer off the desk. I had some boxes of random things stored in there too, which were torn up and knocked over. I can't describe the amount of destruction and mess I had... Two months later and I'm still working on cleaning it all up.

Good stories people, if I'm having a bad day I can just read this thread lol keep'm comin!

NietzscheKeen said:

Left the back door open. The dog snuck in while I was gone. My "grow room" at the time was the sunniest and warmest room in the house. It was a german shepherd. It was locked in there for at least a day and a half. The door to the grow room will open when pushed and will close back behind you. That's how it got in. I had just tended to the plants so I had no reason to go in there. I come home a day or so later and the blinds had been torn down and I see a dog standing on my antique furniture. It chewed the window sills up, tore up the blinds, chewed the sockets and phone jacks off the wall, chewed a hole in the wall, utterly destroyed my plants and got dirt EVERYWHERE. Knocked shelves over, chewed up the furniture that I was trying to sell, piss everywhere, knocked my computer and printer off the desk. I had some boxes of random things stored in there too, which were torn up and knocked over. I can't describe the amount of destruction and mess I had... Two months later and I'm still working on cleaning it all up.

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hate to laugh at your misfortune but roflmao, hopefully not your dog, how fast did he run when ya let him out ?

Heard a lot of them....
from the Guy near Chicago that insisted the only fert his plant needed/got was him going there every week to SH*T at the grow site... to the one that wondered not only WHY her plant died, but there were bugs all over (She had planted a whole dead fish in the middle of the 5-gallon planter)...
the guy that said plants didn't need anything except Koolaid and beer as ferts,
and the many many people who PEE'd in their plants and didn't understand why they died....?

NietzscheKeen said:

Left the back door open. The dog snuck in while I was gone. My "grow room" at the time was the sunniest and warmest room in the house. It was a german shepherd. It was locked in there for at least a day and a half. The door to the grow room will open when pushed and will close back behind you. That's how it got in. I had just tended to the plants so I had no reason to go in there. I come home a day or so later and the blinds had been torn down and I see a dog standing on my antique furniture. It chewed the window sills up, tore up the blinds, chewed the sockets and phone jacks off the wall, chewed a hole in the wall, utterly destroyed my plants and got dirt EVERYWHERE. Knocked shelves over, chewed up the furniture that I was trying to sell, piss everywhere, knocked my computer and printer off the desk. I had some boxes of random things stored in there too, which were torn up and knocked over. I can't describe the amount of destruction and mess I had... Two months later and I'm still working on cleaning it all up.

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Poor puppy.... (The DOG not you! LOL!) but all that damage-- that really hurts!!!!
How is the dog?