sounds alot like what I went thru years of the methadone clinic but I actually was trying to get off everything and was totally serious about it, in the years I was going to the clinic I never had a dirty ua and went down to 1 mill. yeas that was 1 mill. even I knew I could stop at that point as I am very phisically fit and have to be sharp enough to deal with the worst of the worst people in this world and make them happy every day,, but when the clinic told me I was done I left thinkin I will never ever do this shit again,,,, well,,, It only took 2 dayys before I had so much pain in all of my body that I couldnt get up,, I did manage to make it to work for 3 more days but my boss and everyone that seen me knew something was seriously wrong with me and it wasnt the flew,,, and I went out on 1 f-n mill. well I figured that it was all in my head so I stayed home for 2 f-n weeks,, the last 7 days with no sleep and one hell of a lot of pain,,,, but I told myself I could kick this, one day at a time and it has to get better sooner or later,,,, well,,, It didnt so I went back to the clinic in the worst shape ive ever been in being off all drugs for close to3 weeks and it just got worse every day,,, the clinic said I had to go thru like I was never there all the paperwork again then they started me out at 30 mill again and brought me up to 80,, they said that is the process for new patients when they are the ones who told me that I was better and I dont have to come back anymore when I was taking 1 mill.... fuck those people,,, they want your money,, thats it,,, they made me go every day again instead of my monthly take homes.... After a week I told them to f themselves I cant do that shit no more,, so they called the cops and told them I was suicidal and on my way to work that morning I kept gettin calls from the police dept askin where I was, I told them I was on my way to work,, I thought someone died,,, well I got to work,, was sent to human resourse where she aske me for my work radio,, at that time 12 police officers lined the hallways in the building and 3 paramedic vehicles were outside waiting for me,,,, all because I said I am done with this shit,, I didnt tell them that I found a suboxine doctor at that time cause they always try to say how nothin is good but methadone,,, needless to say I had to go to the hospital until a psycyatrist saw me and agreed this has all been a big misunderstanding,,, but I still got fired from my job and ridiculed in front of my piers and at least 75 other people in that office who all watched me get walked thru the building in handcuffs with a dozen cops and paramedics following me.... well thats the price I had to pay for using drugs of every kind since I was 14 and that when I fell in love with opiates (only the strongest) I always laughed at people that said they have darvocet or tylenol2 3 or 4s,, or percocet or lortap, shit I would of had to eat 25 or 30 lortabs or percs and hope to get a small buzz,, but everyone who made it to where I was at knows that you will get sick from all the acetamenaphen or asprin or all the othe crap they put in those pills before u get high off them,,,, I remember eating 10 10mill. valium and 8 5 mill valium on the way to the shore, after a couple cases of beer we got there and from what I hear I had a great time except for starting fights with inacent people.... well thats my rant.. sorry so long but I was On A Roll...
Man Ive done more damn pills than most people ever thought about seeing.Ive lined up at the methadone clinic myself for two years when my Doctor got in trouble.Most days I did my dose and bought take homes off all my buddies who needed dosing cash some days upward of 500 mg of done day and usually about 4 mgs of zanex.Im probably the worst addict on this site,it all started with a 14ft. fall off of a concrete column when the crane pouring the column turned over and I fell 14 ft on my tailbone.Ruptured 2 disc and Im fucked up for life.I hated opiates before I fell,I still hate them today, I just have some controll over them .I currently get 120 oxy 30 mg and 120 perc 10 mg and never eat half of them anymore.Im just saying if you want to stop its not that hard once you set your mind to it.Larger doses are harder to stop.I know 50 people who have cold turkeyed methadone because of losing dosing priveliges due to dirty urines.Methadone does not have to be a death sentence,I hope they yank that poison off the market