Going to Church!

[QUOTEThere's cameras in those places!!! r.durden, post: 12578294, member: 252878"]So, I chose a large, grey, stoic looking church. I don't know why. It looked like a church that Bruce Wayne might attend. I got to there WAY early. Did you guys know that it starts at like, 10am? I got bored so I decided to smoke some weed. After a while, I saw some people start to go inside, so I began to walk in with them. One old dude stopped me and asked if he could help me. "Just here for the service..." I replied. He said that it started in an hour. I told him I'd like to wait inside. He seemed hesitant, but he let me in. I found a bathroom and went in to drop my after breakfast deuce. It felt strange to shit in church, kinda naughty. The service was packed full, I wasn't expecting that. I was surrounded by families, and there were young kids on either side of me. They seemed bored and kept asking me questions, so I asked them some of my own. Here are some highlights of the exchanges (I'm in blue) -

"How old is Jesus?"
"Jesus is dead..."
"But isn't god all around us?"
"No!"
"Do you like this church?"
"No..."
"Do you think I should join this church?"
I received both positive and negative responses to this last question.

The service was okay, kinda boring. The pastor wasn't very inspirational, and all the positive things he was preaching was obvious, common sense stuff. At one point I fell asleep, and the small girl to my right poked me awake. "You were snoring!" I apologized. I tried speaking to a few people afterward, but that was really boring, too. On my way out I saw an office door ajar, so I peeked inside. There was a cool little Apple speaker that I've had my eye on, so I slipped it under my jacket and headed out. I don't think I'll be going back to church for a while, it just wasn't for me. The speaker sounds great, so the day wasn't a total loss...[/QUOTE]
You!! Theres

You always cheer me up!!! Funny one

alaskachic said:

[QUOTEThere's cameras in those places!!! r.durden, post: 12578294, member: 252878"]So, I chose a large, grey, stoic looking church. I don't know why. It looked like a church that Bruce Wayne might attend. I got to there WAY early. Did you guys know that it starts at like, 10am? I got bored so I decided to smoke some weed. After a while, I saw some people start to go inside, so I began to walk in with them. One old dude stopped me and asked if he could help me. "Just here for the service..." I replied. He said that it started in an hour. I told him I'd like to wait inside. He seemed hesitant, but he let me in. I found a bathroom and went in to drop my after breakfast deuce. It felt strange to shit in church, kinda naughty. The service was packed full, I wasn't expecting that. I was surrounded by families, and there were young kids on either side of me. They seemed bored and kept asking me questions, so I asked them some of my own. Here are some highlights of the exchanges (I'm in blue) -

"How old is Jesus?"
"Jesus is dead..."
"But isn't god all around us?"
"No!"
"Do you like this church?"
"No..."
"Do you think I should join this church?"
I received both positive and negative responses to this last question.

The service was okay, kinda boring. The pastor wasn't very inspirational, and all the positive things he was preaching was obvious, common sense stuff. At one point I fell asleep, and the small girl to my right poked me awake. "You were snoring!" I apologized. I tried speaking to a few people afterward, but that was really boring, too. On my way out I saw an office door ajar, so I peeked inside. There was a cool little Apple speaker that I've had my eye on, so I slipped it under my jacket and headed out. I don't think I'll be going back to church for a while, it just wasn't for me. The speaker sounds great, so the day wasn't a total loss...

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I thought of that. But, the church isn't near my place and they don't know who I am. I don't think I have anything to worry about. Except maybe Hell...

Lol.My friend(when we were in the Army)picked up some swedish chick in Cyprus.He hired a moped and they went off for a
tour.presently they came upon a small church.No one was about,so they went in and had a fuck-right on the alter piece.
I think that beats you taking a dump.As for stealing from churches.I hope it was a catholic church.those mfs are hoarding
loads of wealth.Could be good for a stick-up job.
Thats right people.Drop your wallets in the bag.Suckers have been doing it for years.should be like taking candy from
kids.
The last funeral i went to, was so dreary.i have decided not to subject anyone to that rubbish.
My ashes are going in the sea.End of story.No mumbo Jumbo.No funeral.
Keep up the good work!

You'll have to do A lot more than that to have Hell yawning before you!!! Lol
Ty!!

supreme bean said:

so they went in and had a fuck-right on the alter piece.

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Mwuahaha been there done that. My best buddy in those days was doing ice bumps and watching. Good times.

tyler.durden said:

So, I chose a large, grey, stoic looking church. I don't know why. It looked like a church that Bruce Wayne might attend. I got to there WAY early. ~snip~

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I think those are the Bat'ists