"Got any weed?"

"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

i would post more but you can find a ton them here anyways: http://www.concept420.com/marijuana_cannabis_jokes_humor.htm

Word. That's were I found The T.V. set one.

The other ones are from different sites but are also on that site....

A light weight will say, "Take me home I'm stoned."
An everyday toker will say, "Take me home I'm ripped.
A stoner would say, "Take me stoned, I'm home." And the other person would reply, "Me stoned I'm too."

Translation:

Take me home, I'm stoned.
Me too, I'm stoned.