chronik4lyfe
Well-Known Member
they walk upright like a homoerectus... did i say homo.. i diddnt mean that - half baked 
Great Stoner Quotes
- Thread starter stoner_kiddie
- Start date
blazindapurple
Active Member
lol i got so high one time i thought i was speaking alould when i thought so i stared at my friend for like 5 mins and he was like dude? wtf? dear god i laughed so hard
WhatAmIDoing
Well-Known Member
"Is this smoke blue?"
~"I don't know, it looks like every other color."
~"I don't know, it looks like every other color."
Psychedelics and Chronic
Well-Known Member
This one isn't a quote, its a story of about 2 weeks ago.
I was with my friend J and we got home from a bar at 2 am. We go inside and J has work at 6 in the morning, has to leave at 5:30 so he passes out. I go downstairs where his sister and like 5 of her friends are downstairs playing drinking games. I go down and smoke them down and they toss me some beer and we all start playing some drinking game together. (some random card one, haven't played it before) After like 20 minutes I want to smoke again, great weed but it was a big circle and I only packed 1 bowl. I decided to pack 2 more bowls. We all smoke again and everyone looses interest in the game and passes out except for J's sister. 4:20 comes around so I pack another bowl, we were smoking out of an apple, and when I pass it to J's sis (24 years old and been smoking since she was 15) I watch as she almost burns her hair twice. She keeps trying to hit it and the flame is not being pulled into the weed. I assume its clogged, and get it back from her, it wasn't, gave it back and again the flame doesn't get pulled into the weed and she almost burns her eyebrows, I lean over next to her to see from her view, and moved her thumb that was on the apple, TURNS OUT SHE HAD HER THUMB ON THE HOLE AND WAS JUST SUCKING ON HER THUMB. Possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. She really had no idea, was trying so hard to hit it...her thumb. HAHA
I was with my friend J and we got home from a bar at 2 am. We go inside and J has work at 6 in the morning, has to leave at 5:30 so he passes out. I go downstairs where his sister and like 5 of her friends are downstairs playing drinking games. I go down and smoke them down and they toss me some beer and we all start playing some drinking game together. (some random card one, haven't played it before) After like 20 minutes I want to smoke again, great weed but it was a big circle and I only packed 1 bowl. I decided to pack 2 more bowls. We all smoke again and everyone looses interest in the game and passes out except for J's sister. 4:20 comes around so I pack another bowl, we were smoking out of an apple, and when I pass it to J's sis (24 years old and been smoking since she was 15) I watch as she almost burns her hair twice. She keeps trying to hit it and the flame is not being pulled into the weed. I assume its clogged, and get it back from her, it wasn't, gave it back and again the flame doesn't get pulled into the weed and she almost burns her eyebrows, I lean over next to her to see from her view, and moved her thumb that was on the apple, TURNS OUT SHE HAD HER THUMB ON THE HOLE AND WAS JUST SUCKING ON HER THUMB. Possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. She really had no idea, was trying so hard to hit it...her thumb. HAHA
cokeisgood00
Active Member
I smoked a little today, and said this.
My buddy said this
I come home, relatively calm and collect, which was not easy, due to the massive buzz circulating through my cranium. I scurry to my basement to find my thermos, filled with six hour cold tea. It smelled like peppermint iced tea, so I decided to have a taste test...but it tasted like pedialyte (that children drink to fight diarrhea).
What the fuck is that, how the fuck do I know it tastes like pedialyte. A 21 Year old man should not know what pedialyte tastes like.
What the fuck is that, how the fuck do I know it tastes like pedialyte. A 21 Year old man should not know what pedialyte tastes like.
ctmjrhoops2
Active Member
so frat buddies and i are chillen at one of the members house. there are like 5 of us. getting high and drinkin. we decide to make a gravity bong in the kitchen. after we all hit it and of the guys is like we need to finish this bag of weed and the only way to do that is through this gravity bong. Mind you there is about a 1/8th in the bag. Someone makes the mistake of suggesting we barricade ourselves in so I, being high as shit, go into the living room and grab the couch to barricade ourselves in. I proceed to stand the couch on its side and put it in the doorway and close the other doors that lead to the kitchen. After we take a couple turns of the grav bong I start wigging out cuz i've hit "marijuana hell" (you get so high where you start freakin out and cant control it) then the quote comes:
"Stop freaking out and put the couch back where you found it."
we all died laughing for about 5 minutes.
"Stop freaking out and put the couch back where you found it."
we all died laughing for about 5 minutes.
sab from rehab
Active Member
a good quote me an my buds have when were smokin if someone is talkin their asses off like someone says ' its not a microphone hit it !' its not funny but it shuts them the hell up
RetiredToker76
Well-Known Member
My famous quotes:
Age 15 (1991): "Dude my eyebrows are getting in the way of my head."
-Second time I ever smoked.
Age 16: (1992) "If you'd get high instead of drinking I could get you to fuk me!"
-To a hot chick who just would not light up.
Age 17: (1993) to myself: "Dude I'm going to get home eventually."
-I was walking around in the driveway waiting for myself to get home.
Age 18: (1994) "Man I'm never goin' to get this floppy drive installed."
-Point of education don't work on broken computers stoned.
Age 24
2001) "Dude, I'm high, in the Rocky Mountains, I have a Rocky Mountain High. My mom loves John Denver, she'd be so proud."
-Hadn't smoked since I was 18
Age 27: (2004) "Man that old hippies shit is so good I'm actually enjoying Snoop Dogg. It still sucks he's opening for the Chilies. I think I should tell that hippie that the Greatful Dead won't be playing any time soon."
-Hadn't smoked Since I was 24
Age 32: (three weeks ago) "I'm too old and responsible to do this shit anymore. I think I'm going to take another hit."
-Hadn't smoked since I was 27
-RT76
Age 15 (1991): "Dude my eyebrows are getting in the way of my head."
-Second time I ever smoked.
Age 16: (1992) "If you'd get high instead of drinking I could get you to fuk me!"
-To a hot chick who just would not light up.
Age 17: (1993) to myself: "Dude I'm going to get home eventually."
-I was walking around in the driveway waiting for myself to get home.
Age 18: (1994) "Man I'm never goin' to get this floppy drive installed."
-Point of education don't work on broken computers stoned.
Age 24
2001) "Dude, I'm high, in the Rocky Mountains, I have a Rocky Mountain High. My mom loves John Denver, she'd be so proud."-Hadn't smoked since I was 18
Age 27: (2004) "Man that old hippies shit is so good I'm actually enjoying Snoop Dogg. It still sucks he's opening for the Chilies. I think I should tell that hippie that the Greatful Dead won't be playing any time soon."
-Hadn't smoked Since I was 24
Age 32: (three weeks ago) "I'm too old and responsible to do this shit anymore. I think I'm going to take another hit."
-Hadn't smoked since I was 27
-RT76
xXGun4HyreXx
Active Member
A few days ago I was stoned with my friends Matt and Julius. We just came out from a little path after getting baked out of our minds.
So, we're walking down the street, and I turn around and see Julius waving at a window so I'm like, "Dude, Julius, why are you waving at that window!?" and he was like "I swear to God I saw a fucking person in there!" So I'm like, "If there's people in there then why did you wave at complete strangers!?" and he was like "I just wanted to say hi!"
5-10 minutes later we're at the convenience store buying a drink and a couple packs of gum. I had a bottle of Axe in my pocket, so when I was paying for the stuff, the Korean woman was like "What's that in your pocket?" so I'm like, "Oh, a bottle" so she's like, "What kind of bottle?" so Matt cuts in and is like "It's his deodorant! It's his deodorant!" so I'm like "Yeah! It's my deodorant bottle!" so she just looks at me like an idiot and I'm totally confused for a couple of minutes until Matt literally pulls the bottle out of my pocket to show her.
Then we were at McDonald's 10 minutes later, and it took me about 5 minutes just to pay. Counting change is a bloody chore when you're stoned.
So, we're walking down the street, and I turn around and see Julius waving at a window so I'm like, "Dude, Julius, why are you waving at that window!?" and he was like "I swear to God I saw a fucking person in there!" So I'm like, "If there's people in there then why did you wave at complete strangers!?" and he was like "I just wanted to say hi!"
5-10 minutes later we're at the convenience store buying a drink and a couple packs of gum. I had a bottle of Axe in my pocket, so when I was paying for the stuff, the Korean woman was like "What's that in your pocket?" so I'm like, "Oh, a bottle" so she's like, "What kind of bottle?" so Matt cuts in and is like "It's his deodorant! It's his deodorant!" so I'm like "Yeah! It's my deodorant bottle!" so she just looks at me like an idiot and I'm totally confused for a couple of minutes until Matt literally pulls the bottle out of my pocket to show her.
Then we were at McDonald's 10 minutes later, and it took me about 5 minutes just to pay. Counting change is a bloody chore when you're stoned.
Hazed N' Confused
Active Member
watching the florida oklahoma game my friend turns to me after smoking a few bowls 
n a few more lol with a bag of lays chips in his hands he says ima couch baked potato!!!!!!!
n a few more lol with a bag of lays chips in his hands he says ima couch baked potato!!!!!!!
smokeysmokey9
Well-Known Member
retired toker, that kind of made me depressed how fast your life seemed to go by thankfully ive got a longgggg way to go..i hope
chronik4lyfe
Well-Known Member
"Fuck i'm stoned... let'S smoke another joint"
unbelievable how funny tht was when my friend first mumbled it out in a stoned daze
unbelievable how funny tht was when my friend first mumbled it out in a stoned daze
Immortalica
Active Member
"I'm in Terminator mode."
ToHighToType
Active Member
man... me and a buddy that i would get high with more than anyone else would always park his car by this lake and just chill and watch people and get baked. Man, my buddy would always do this thing: he'd pop his head up, like sitting straight up, and look EVERYWHERE, like 360 degrees. Just out of nowhere. I would be taking a hit off whatever we happened to have, and he'd just pop up and do this. So i eventually just stopped mid hit and looked at him and said, "dude... just quit that. you look like a fucking meer-cat man. why don't you go on animal planet or some shit with that crazy act man."
From then on we've never forgot it. IF ever there's a reasonable situation, he'll just bust out with "you look like a meer-cat"
From then on we've never forgot it. IF ever there's a reasonable situation, he'll just bust out with "you look like a meer-cat"
ChiefCheeba
Active Member
I had a girlfriend recently who said, "Everytime I close my eyes it's like I'm dreaming" (because we were super high) lmao
